Losing it; 2 y/o awake for hours at a time. How to break the cycle?
- Thread starter maxinvasion
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@maxinvasion I’m with you man. Our 2.5 year old son is just all over the place with sleep. As soon as he started to test the boundaries of not napping, that was it. Nothing we can do 
@maxinvasion Going to catch hell for this because it seems to be something a neglectful parent would do but I swear by the CYO method. It takes a day or two if crying but they realize it means it’s time for bed. Whomever is the stronger parent has to be one to do this because they will cry and wail, but they need to be strong and go through it.
You don’t do the process in anger but you don’t reach in any extreme. You explain the process and hold to it. Consistency is the common marker here. You go in a few minutes at a time, reassure them that you’re there, then leave and extend the time longer each time they cry out or wake up.
Eventually, after a few days, they’ll know to sleep in their own bed and sleep time gets easier. You have to maintain this for it to stick otherwise they’ll go right back to waking up all hours of the night. Your partner needs to back you on this otherwise it won’t work.
You don’t do the process in anger but you don’t reach in any extreme. You explain the process and hold to it. Consistency is the common marker here. You go in a few minutes at a time, reassure them that you’re there, then leave and extend the time longer each time they cry out or wake up.
Eventually, after a few days, they’ll know to sleep in their own bed and sleep time gets easier. You have to maintain this for it to stick otherwise they’ll go right back to waking up all hours of the night. Your partner needs to back you on this otherwise it won’t work.
@maxinvasion Tire her out @the park, let her run around before bedtime.
@maxinvasion Could get some hate for this but... Let her sleep in your bed with you, she doesn't want to be alone. Although even that doesn't work all the time, but it does work some of the time and that's what you need right now. You can work on breaking that habit after you've gotten some consistent sleep and can afford to lose some again. Another year or two and you're more or less out of the woods for sleep stuff (probably).
@maxinvasion How much physical activity is she getting in the daytime? I would go with a combination of no nap, big supper (also no snack between 4pm-supper), and some good exercise for the morning and afternoon.
You have to take a multi-day approach too, it's not an overnight thing. A late night where she falls asleep on her own might be needed for a reset and she'll be tired/cranky the next day but can then get to bed at a normal time, combined with the above to reset her clock. It might take a few late night / early bedtime cycles but eventually it'll work.
The other thing, is she going to bed on her own?
You have to take a multi-day approach too, it's not an overnight thing. A late night where she falls asleep on her own might be needed for a reset and she'll be tired/cranky the next day but can then get to bed at a normal time, combined with the above to reset her clock. It might take a few late night / early bedtime cycles but eventually it'll work.
The other thing, is she going to bed on her own?
@maxinvasion Try to get her to exert more energy during the day, walks, scooters, chase, climbing, daily park /playground visits etc.
Tucker her out
Tucker her out
@maxinvasion This may or may not help, and I'm not sure if you've done this, but when she wakes you up, scoop her in your arms and walk around with her. Sing, tell her stories and rub her back as you do this walking around. It's going to suck because whichever one of you does this is going to fully wake up, but it may only be for an hour vs multiple hours.
If you push her bedtime back a little it may help move the needle as to when she wakes up.
Make a schedule as to whose night it is if she wakes up. Both of you should also try and get in a 30 minute combat nap during lunch at work, whenever possible, each day. It'll help deal with some of the fatigue and make sure to set yourself an alarm when you do this so you don't overlap.
If you push her bedtime back a little it may help move the needle as to when she wakes up.
Make a schedule as to whose night it is if she wakes up. Both of you should also try and get in a 30 minute combat nap during lunch at work, whenever possible, each day. It'll help deal with some of the fatigue and make sure to set yourself an alarm when you do this so you don't overlap.
@maxinvasion Does she nap during the day? My twins would wake up frequently throughout the night. We stopped having nap time and now they sleep throughout the night.