It’s ok if your nursery isn’t finished or doesn’t exist

[sofie]

I absolutely love looking through all the beautiful nurseries that get posted here. But I did just want to say that it’s okay if you don’t have one or you’re like me and you’re 38 weeks and it’s not even close to anything. It really is ok. And everyone says “ohhh they don’t even need a nursery.” Or, “they won’t even use it/remember it right away!” I get that it’s not really about that. But having a pinterest-level nursery is not a reflection of how excited you are or how much you love your baby. So don’t fret if you see how other people are doing and think that you’re off track for some reason, because you’re not!

 

[mihitt]

@sofie I overheard my dad telling my partner something along the lines of “the nursery isn’t for the baby. The nursery is for the mom. If she’s stressed about it, understand that she views it as an outward example of her preparation for motherhood. Try not to let her stress. But if she’s really worried, take a day off cutting the grass and help slap some paint on the walls. It’s the best we can do while they grow the baby”

 

[sofie]

@mihitt It’s honestly so true, at least for me. I know the baby isn’t going to use her stuffed animals or care if she’s getting rocked in a rainbow covered room or not. It’s about my personal creative expression of love and motherhood. But, it’s not the only expression of that, nor the most important one! Your dad is a smart man.

 

[mihitt]

@sofie Exactly! You’ll have so many opportunities to show love and dedication to your babe. I understand desiring to have the perfect Pinterest nursery though! Our EDD just got moved up due to IUGR so I’m feeling the pressure to get things ready a bit more intensely than I was a few weeks ago. And i think the feelings of letting her down by not giving her enough nutrients to grow well has made the desire to have everything else Pinterest Perfect more intense. My dad had 4 kids in 5 years and I don’t think one of us used the nurseries he put together. It’s not the end of the world! A great mom isn’t defined by her rocking chair or neatly drawn bumblebees

 

[dichvuthongtaccong]

@sofie The stuffed animals will get used, my baby loves hers!

 

[katrina2017]

@mihitt Your dad sounds wonderful.

 

[mihitt]

@katrina2017 He’s pretty great! I’ve never met a man so excited to become a Papa — he has a countdown on his phone and tears up when he sees my bump

 

[katrina2017]

@mihitt Omg can he be my dad too??

 

[a1235]

@mihitt Just wait, it keeps getting better. My FIL is the best Papa, and I love how much my daughter lights up when she sees him and says "Hi Papa!" And tbh how much he lights up at that too haha.

 

[mihitt]

@a1235 Omg!! I can’t wait til we get to that point. How precious!!!

 

[puddintain]

@mihitt He's 100% correct. The nursery is in no way for the baby, the baby won't even be able to see that well. The nursery is 100% for me.

 

[mihitt]

@puddintain For sure. If you’re able to create a gorgeous nursery without adding too much stress, enjoy that nursery and what it symbolizes! And if you aren’t able to (or even choose not to) that doesn’t make anyone any less of a parent than Suzy Homemaker with her macramé wall art. You’re exactly right that babies can’t see that well anyway

 

[tsmiles]

@puddintain I get so stressed by mess and clutter. It makes hard days so much worse if everything around me is a mess. Having the baby's room done just helps me to breathe easier. Waking up at night to feed a baby is hard enough without having to stare at a huge mess while doing it. Having it put together and tidy helps ME.

 

[puddintain]

@tsmiles Ha you have very different motivations than I do. I'm just a crazy person that wants an excuse to do home improvement.

 

[josephjurg]

@puddintain Yup. We didn't finish the nursery until baby was almost 8 months old. He wasn't even IN it until 6 months. He didn't know any different. I wanted it done so I could feel prepared, but it wasn't necessary.

 

[kr1983]

@mihitt My husband painted the nursery for me but has persistently thrown that in my face as how he's sacrificing so much for baby. Fuck me for wanting the baby's room to be ready for her.

Um ... The man has never bought a package of diapers and couldn't tell you where a crib sheet is.

 

[johngill]

@kr1983 Oh man. My husband had what I suspect was antepartum depression. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything in preparation for the baby. He thought I was being fretful and obsessive with looking up baby care, researching baby gear, buying baby stuff. Boy, was he awoken to reality when baby arrived. Everything he needed, I was able to pull it out right away. If baby was fussy, I knew the techniques to soothe him. He realized how much I had done and I think he appreciates everything I did now.

 

[cheyann]

@johngill My husband mentioned something similar to me the other day! I was praising him for everything he’s done for us and he said “you were the one prepared and knew exactly what we needed to make it easy.” It was nice for him to acknowledge that!

 

[mihitt]

@kr1983 That’s frustrating! That’s kind of where my partner was. Just like “ugh I’ll do it because I have to but I won’t enjoy it” but now he sees it as an act of love to me and our little girl. He’s ripping up carpet in the nursery as I type this. I hope your husband comes around as fatherhood sets in. Hugs to you! I’m sure that must be hard

 

[acs04401]

@kr1983 Remind him that it’s his responsibility and that this his child too. It’s totally ok to call him out and set him straight.
God forbid he gives his body to a fetus growing in it for 9 months? He has the audacity to utter the word sacrifice because he painted a room?