@foreverhis84 Lol I'm kinda in the same boat myself, and yes, there's resentment in my marriage, too. I'm usually always alone. My husband hasn't taken Christmas Day off properly in about 12 years. He'll carve out an hr or 2 late Christmas morning for us to open presents but then back to it. Absolutely forget time off or going away for any other special occasion. Doesn't matter if it falls on the weekend, Saturday & Sunday are still workdays, year round.
Take rn for instance...it's Sunday morning where I am. It's usually a day of the week that families at least SOMETIMES get to spend time together, right? He was up n gone at 5:30 and yep, I'm alone. It's just like every other Sunday for the last 12 years at least, so I'm used to it... meaning I still resent it, but don't bring it up with him anymore. There is no point because nothing changes. I bring it up, we argue, he says he'll cut back....but doesnt.
When I need medical procedures done or am REALLY unwell with something (which doesn't happen often, thank god), my mum comes to stay n help. My kids are older now, so the day to day stuff is a little easier, but school drop off & pick up still needs to be done, Mon to Fri. Meals still need to be cooked, too.
The only difference in my situation is my husband now does earn a really good living. But that's only happened in, like, the last 6 years or so. Before that, it was struggle street like a lot of other people. We can't buy "whatever we want" but don't have to worry about making ends meet.
I often get told to stop whining & be grateful that my husband is such a hard worker & is earning good money. Yes the money is great but it has cost us in other ways. Due to us not spending much time together, I don't feel we are close anymore. The connection disappeared, then the sex. I miss my husband and how we used to be. But we are now roomates at most. I've suggested the occasional date over the years to try n get that spark back but he doesn't have time for lunch dates and actual night time dates are out as well because he struggles to keep his eyes open past 8pm.
I've realised now that workaholics don't change UNLESS something bad happens to THEM. Meaning a big health scare...a heartattack/stroke for instance. OR they're physically unable to continue working...like a car accident or disease that results in mobility issues or something (but even that most likely wouldnt slow down a WFH desk job type). Even if you leave, he'll still keep doing what he does. He'll probably attempt to talk you out of leaving or try to get you back....but work habits won't change. You either make do or leave ....because I'm 99% sure he won't change. And it sounds to me like he cant afford to change rn either. Sorry OP, I know it's hard, it definitely takes its toll on relationships
