@disguisedlamb As a SAHM, I can understand where your wife’s [misguided] sense of control is coming from. She needs to grasp that just because it is not how she envisioned it, doesn’t make it wrong. Both at work or at home. I have worked for women like this (they never let up and have unrealistic expectations for their teams as well, thinking it makes them look better for everyone to work themselves I to the ground) and all it does is lead to burnout. In general, I’d be her male counterparts don’t overthink it all the way she does, and I’d bet they don’t come home to their partners and make the same criticism about how they parent when sick. Equality does not mean domination.
@disguisedlamb I guilt myself for this too but having a small kid has made me more iol, more often than ever before. Some days you just have to get through it. Then when it is over I overcompensate with extra time at the playground or children's museum.
@disguisedlamb My whole house is getting over COVID. That means that last week all five of us (parents, 4.5yo, 3yo, and 1yo) were all sick at one point or another. It started with my husband. The day he went down, the tablets came out and the tv went on so I could keep up with what was needed. I knew the rest of us would get sick within 48 hours and I knew I had to prep. My kids all got either tv or tablets every single day for several hours in a row for about five days. Every day. My husband came downstairs after two days to take over so I could rest (by then we'd all caught it) and you know what he did? Let them keep their screens while he caught up on stuff. He didn't judge me or complain or anything. He let them do what was needed so we could rest and keep the house running.
Your wife was being rigid and judgemental in a moment when you needed and deserved kindness and flexibility. I'd be sitting down and discussing this with her when I was calm because you have to be able to care for yourself when you're sick. And she needs to let it go.
@disguisedlamb On Boxing Day my oldest (4) came down with D&V at about 7pm. 3hours later number two (2) comes down with it too, then the next morning the baby (6m) gets it. All that night the kids either vomited or watched Bluey on a pile of towels. The next day they were ok so we played a few games and watched home alone 2. The day after me and my husband wake up at 3am and poop and vomit our guys out and for the next two days the Heeler family became our personal babysitters. When you’re sick, there’s nothing to be done. So long as everyone is clean and fed then you’re ok.
