@disguisedlamb Hi OP! Not at all! Rest is also important too. I do that when feeling sick but also, for example, if my little one is feeling sick too. Taking things a bit easier, chilling out and resting. I hope you get better soon, get some rest and if you need help, look for a helping hand in family, friends, caretaker or any other alternative you have at disposition. Bluey is fun, gives you excellent playtime ideas, and portrays kids being kids.
@disguisedlamb If you did that every day, I think that’d be worthy of a discussion…but one day (or even a handful of days) while you’re ill? Come on. Your kid isn’t going to drop 30 IQ points or grow up to be addicted to smack because you let him watch Bluey for a few hours one day when he was two years old. Your spouse would benefit from a bit of perspective.
@verdantz97 Hell, I even let my kids watch Bluey like this for MULTIPLE DAYS
In all seriousness, instilling good habits goes a long way. After around an hour my eldest will actually ask me to turn the tv off and go play in his room.
“Everything in moderation”, as my mom always told me
@disguisedlamb A day of "screentime" isn't a big deal. It's like giving your kid candy every now and then. It's not recommended to have too much of it, but it's not going to do any harm whatsoever to have it occasionally. You're at home with the kid, so you're in charge of how to handle these situations. You wouldn't meddle in how she handles hard situations at work, so she needs to trust that you're making the best decisions for your son when you've agreed that you stay home with him
@disguisedlamb Bluey’s our go-to when we’re sick too! When we’re sick all screen time rules go out the door. We just make sure to let our older kiddo (4) know that it’s temporary and we’ll go back to normal when we’re feeling better. Don’t feel bad OP, it’s normal and happens!
@disguisedlamb I wholly disagree with your wife. That's standard protocol when primary parent is sick. With two kids and a chronic immune system issue I have done it several times. Kid's gonna be fine.
@disguisedlamb If she's unhappy with that, she can take a sick day when you're unwell and care for him herself. As long as he is safe and cared for you just do what you gotta do sometimes. Some days are about thriving, and others are about surviving.
@disguisedlamb When you're that sick, your spouse should stay home and take care of your kid. I look at it this way, half of their sick days are your sick days. It is absolutely unreasonable to require one spouse to work 100% of the time while the other one gets sick days and vacation days. If your spouse is completely incapable of staying home for whatever reason, then yes you survive however you need to.
@disguisedlamb This makes me crazy. I am one of those people who gets SO damn sick because of autoimmune stuff that causes me to flare up and get super inflamed and fatigued and even the smallest, gentlest chores and activities wipe me out. It varies from illness to illness so sometimes I can push through but other times I'm totally couch ridden.
My husband can handle about two days of me being in this state before he decides it's been long enough and it's time for me to start pulling my weight again before the house is a mess. It's really damaging to my trust in him to be honest. It makes me feel like my worth in the relationship is defined by how productive I'm being at a given time.
You need to sit down with your wife and really talk about this because I think it can put you both down a path of resentment. Explain that couples go through periods where each is doing 50/50. But most of the time, you're in a flow state where it goes from 70/30 to 40/60 to 90/10 to 20/80 then back to 50/50 again. She needs to be supportive of you during those times that you are operating at 10%.
The other thing is that she probably thinks she could do a "better" job of childcare when she's sick. And maybe she's right. Maybe she could push herself more, be more engaging, etc. But you are different people with different abilities and that HAS to be okay. Maybe you have further limits than she does in other situations. The point is she needs to trust that you are doing your best. Instead of saying "WTF why did you watch so much TV" she should be saying "Oh gosh you watched a lot of TV you must really feel like crap."
@disguisedlamb When you’re sick it’s survival mode. All the screentime. Do whatever you can to make it through the day. If she doesn’t like it, then she needs to take a sick day so she can stay home while you rest.
@disguisedlamb I’m 29 weeks pregnant and caught a nasty head cold from our 3 year old. This week has been hard and the guilt I feel from the amount of screen time that has been played is unreal, but I’m trying to remind myself that I’m only human and I’m GROWING a human. Some days will be like this and some days will be completely productive. Being home with kids is a lot of work, especially when you don’t feel your best. Have grace with yourself! I hope your partner realizes how hard you work and how much you push yourself, otherwise she’d be calling into work.
@disguisedlamb I have a lock up high. inside my bedroom, and If I need to lay down, I put on a live stream of usually curious George or miss rachel and I go to sleep. Sahp don't get sick days so we have do what we have to do and your wife is being unreasonable. If she doesn't like your solution to rest, then tell her.to take the day off and do it herself.
@disguisedlamb Is screen time the problem or content of the screen the problem? I look at my work computer for 10 to 12 hours 5 days a week. Before work it was research papers more computer screen, reading school stuff all on a screen. This is the best age for baby to actually enjoy screen time where it’ just fun, baby can be exposed to different things through fun entertaining videos.
@disguisedlamb This is what nearly every SAHP does when sick, and it is completely valid. Tell wife to take off work and take care of him herself if she is so worried about it.
@disguisedlamb Is she okay with arranging child care to give you sick time? That's a good compromise here. It's unrealistic to expect you to be doing the same work while sick.
@tudor1485 This is the best advice i think. Its probably unrealistic for the wife to take a day off, AND its also unrealistic to expect a sahp to parent at 100% while sick. If the budget can accommodate, get a sitter. Dad rests, kid is well cared for at the park or whatever
@disguisedlamb Your wife can take a day off work to care for your son while you're out of commission if she is unsatisfied with the level of care you're able to provide your son while being so sick. For the record - I would do exactly what you did. You are being a good parent - you have to take care of your self first in order to be able to care for anyone else!
