@katrina2017 I'm self-employed and didn't even tell my clients I was pregnant with twins. I was sending emails a few hours after my c-section. I was in the hospital for five days for pre-eclampsia and was writing marketing content during my middle of the night pumps my first week at home. It's doable. It was hell. But doable. When people ask, how do people make it work? This is how. They work their asses off to the detriment of life and health, but that's what it takes when you grew up poor and want to claw your way into the middle class, I guess. Welcome to America.
@pattimayo I mean, do you have to for financial reasons? I think you could make yourself but it would be hard both physically and mentally. You mention your mother will be there so if she could give you dedicated time to work you could probably manage. However I don't think I would go up to 20hrs by 4 weeks, I'd stick to 10hrs as long as possible.
Personally I'd just try to budget and save money now to accommodate more time completely off.
@pattimayo Nope. Even if your body is healed, a 2 week old baby is in the throes of barely sleeping, and you’ll be barely sleeping. I wouldn’t commit to any work for at least 6 weeks if I could avoid it
@pattimayo I had a vaginal delivery with vacuum extraction and second degree tears. I was just barely walking at about one week. I’m sure a cesarían is worse. Do yourself a favor—plan to take as much time off as possible.
@pattimayo It depends on the job. I have a full time job (in person) and a part time telemedicine job. I’ve never had a c-section so I can’t speak from experience. But neither of these jobs are physically taxing and if I had to, I think I could work at either 2 weeks after a major surgery. Would I want to? No. Especially with a newborn when every moment of rest counts.
@pattimayo Had a vaginal birth and couldn’t imagine going back after 2 weeks. If you don’t have to go back, I would not. You may cause yourself longer healing this way.
@pattimayo Can it be optional? If so, I'd say just wait and see how you feel. I had my little one right before lock down... I checked us out of the hospital less than 48 hours later as I was terrified of being in the hospital and due to the pandemic, NONE of my carefully planned out work was relevant and a few days later, I was on the ol laptop frantically emailing, writing announcements, changing schedules, changing marketing plans etc. We were super lucky though as baby slept well and my mum was with me. I think he knew life was not normal and gave us a break. If it's fully remote, flexible and minimal hours, you may be able to do it. Should you? Hell no! Enjoy your time with baby! But if you really want to and can physically, mentally, it may be possible.
@pattimayo I think it's possible *physically*, but mentally/emotionally/psychologically, it would be far from ideal. I had this mindset before having my baby too, but ask yourself: can you do your job if you are holding a sleeping baby with one hand and only typing with the other, while sleep deprived and possibly still in enough pain that you can't sit or shift around easily? I was humbled quite quickly by how hard everything was after birth.
You'll be deep in the 4th trimester one month postpartum. Some babies are unicorns, but most babies will not sleep unless held. Do not underestimate sleep deprivation. Depending on how quickly you heal, you might still be on painkillers, which can also have other side effects. Your feet and legs will probably still be swollen. You'll definitely still be wearing an abdominal binder. Your hormones will be on a wild rollercoaster ride. If you're breastfeeding/pumping, that takes up a solid amount of time. Plus, there's there's the baby...even with other people to help, it's very hard to concentrate with a crying baby nearby.
@pattimayo I had my first via c-section and it was rough. I felt OK, but the overnights were so much harder because of surgery recovery. At about 4-5 weeks I was barely following reruns of Gilmore GIrls.
My 2nd was a VBAC and was in many ways harder because I was juggling a preschooler who was at daycare, but the coordinating of two kids while recovering from a birth that was 95% easier was tough. I wasn't ready to do anything more than watch (again) Gilmore Girls until 6 weeks out. I actually took 20 weeks total the 2nd time and have zero regrets about making it work on one income for as long as we needed to.
@pattimayo I didn’t have a c-section for either of my births and this sounds like a complete nightmare to me. I would never go back to work after 2 weeks in any circumstances. Even being a STM and knowing what I was doing this time, it’s still so hard the first few weeks and even months, and having 2 kids now is a huge adjustment in itself.
@pattimayo I would not recommend being back at work post c-section for at LEAST 3 months and even that wasn’t enough. I don’t know about most moms but I didn’t feel like “me” until about 8 months postpartum. I had an emergency c-section, nerve damage and semi-quick recovery but I was NOT “good” to work until probably 7 months after and I went back at week 13.
@pattimayo I sort of did that. I had my second less than a year into a new job so I had very little PTO. About 2 weeks after my c section I started working part time from home. But, all I did was professional development classes that were self paced and kept my email inbox clean. Even that was exhausting and I wish I hadn’t had to do that.
@pattimayo I had a c-section and then was in and out of hospital for about a month after, as I had a PP infection and then bad mastitis. My partner also had about a month off of work and worked from home for an additional 2 months, and my mum was around for the first 3 months. I think I started adjusting to motherhood and feeling physically healed(ish) after about 6-8 weeks. Now that my partner isnt here and we dont have any family help I am learning how to do it myself at 3.5 months and it is a struggle.
I would suggest if you can, give yourself more time to heal and adjust to motherhood before going back to work.
Edit: totally missed the part of it being your second child, but I would say most of it still stands!
@pattimayo I went back to work 2 weeks after my C-section. However, I worked from home on a computer. It wasn't physically difficult, but it was frustrating not feeling as productive as before.
I needed to get back to work to feel somewhat normal again.
@pattimayo I’m a self-employed freelancer and I work part time - I took 12 weeks off. I started feeling like I could re-engage with work after about 9-10 weeks if that helps.
It was nice to tap back in with my clients at that 9-10 week mark so I could start working when I returned. I basically just cleaned out my inbox, reconnected with clients to get contracts going again. It was nice cuz I was going insane doing nothing (been running my own business for 7 years) and it gave me something adult to focus on. But it is extremely hard to fully re-engage.
