@christopherpriestley 4 weeks PP. 0-1 was significantly harder n
Is having a second kid really worth all the trouble? It looks exponentially harder to go from 1 to 2 kids than zero to 1.
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@christopherpriestley 4 weeks PP. 0-1 was significantly more difficult. This time around I’m already a parent. Logistics are interesting. But that will come in time. Each family is different though and so is each child.
plantedbywaters
New member
@christopherpriestley Going from 1 to 2 is dramatically easier than going from 0 to 1!
After 1 you've already done everything so have a general idea of what to expect, baby sleep habits etc. You're just adding another. It works really well if you have 2 active and invoked parents as one manages one, and the other parent the other. Divide and conquer!
After 1 you've already done everything so have a general idea of what to expect, baby sleep habits etc. You're just adding another. It works really well if you have 2 active and invoked parents as one manages one, and the other parent the other. Divide and conquer!
plantedbywaters
New member
@christopherpriestley Going from 1 to 2 is dramatically easier than going from 0 to 1!
After 1 you've already done everything so have a general idea of what to expect, baby sleep habits etc. You're just adding another. It works really well if you have 2 active and invoked parents as one manages one, and the other parent the other. Divide and conquer!
After 1 you've already done everything so have a general idea of what to expect, baby sleep habits etc. You're just adding another. It works really well if you have 2 active and invoked parents as one manages one, and the other parent the other. Divide and conquer!
@christopherpriestley 2 under 2 is really rough at first but gets easier, especially once the little one is eating the same food and on the same nap schedule. Mine are 17 months and almost-3 now and they keep each other entertained. I can see how it will really free up some mom and dad time as they get older and play together better. I’m about to have #3, though, so the nonstop chaos is only going to get worse before it gets better.
anthonyprite
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@christopherpriestley I found 1-2 a lot harder. 1 was an adjustment FOR SURE, but I could put all my focus on baby #1. I got unexpectedly pregnant again at 8 months postpartum, so that probably has something to do with it. This specific age gap makes it really difficult. I’m a twin, and my mom commented and said that the 16 month age gap seems much harder than her own twins 
.
My first and second couldn’t be more different temperament wise, there is a lot of fighting, crying, arguments, hitting, screeching, yelling. It’s very overwhelming sensory wise for me.
I think I would have been one and done had I not gotten pregnant a second time. My partner has since gotten a vasectomy, lol. Being honest here, I’d say there is more fighting and arguing than there are sweet moments. They are also 2 and 3 so hoping that they outgrow it.
. My first and second couldn’t be more different temperament wise, there is a lot of fighting, crying, arguments, hitting, screeching, yelling. It’s very overwhelming sensory wise for me.
I think I would have been one and done had I not gotten pregnant a second time. My partner has since gotten a vasectomy, lol. Being honest here, I’d say there is more fighting and arguing than there are sweet moments. They are also 2 and 3 so hoping that they outgrow it.
christopherpriestley
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@anthonyprite Thank you for sharing and being so honest!!
anthonyprite
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@christopherpriestley Of course!! Best of luck
kayjeanbaptiste
New member
@christopherpriestley What are you missing? You're asking this question during the infant stage and you don't see the problem there? You're missing a whole shit ton of perspective, sister.
@christopherpriestley My best friend has a 4 year age gap and says second children are gods gift to parents to be able to relax more and enjoy it. I’ve never heard this from anyone who decided to have 2 under 2. I’ve also heard 3 years is a good age gap. We are pregnant with number 2 and they’ll be almost 3 years apart.I don’t think I would have been able to have another baby mentally before now. Everyone is different though
dancequeen12
New member
@christopherpriestley 1-2 was way easier than 0-1 for us
@christopherpriestley It depends on everyone's situation so it's neither a simply yes or no. I'd like to point out one of the benefits: built-in play date and friend. This isn't the old days before the internet and cell phones where groups of neighborhood kids played all day outside together. I'm pregnant with my second and have a toddler, it's not easy. But I want them to play board games and run outside together and be creative and active together, not just sit in front of a TV all day. Will they argue? Sure. But that's where they develop useful skills like communication, problem solving, sharing, etc that will help them in the future. I already have to go through all of this with one kid, so one more doesn't cramp my lifestyle anymore. For us, the benefits outweigh the negatives, but it all depends on the person. And if things like communication, finances, other concerns you mentioned will be too much, then it's perfectly fine to stick with what you have!
@christopherpriestley I'm nearly 13w PP of baby 2. For me 1 to 2 has been a million times easier than 0 to 1. I hate not knowing what to do, sure sometimes I'm still stumped but it's a hell of a lot less. My kids are 7.5yrs apart but it already feels like baby 2 has always been here, we're very tired but she's fit in almost seamlessly.
@christopherpriestley I just had my third. 0 to 1 is still the hardest transition in my opinion. Once you have one kid you already have all the basic routines and habits in place, adding another one just slots right in there. Do you lose more personal time and time with your partner with each kid? Yeah, kinda. But if you set up good boundaries, you can protect both of those.
november11
New member
@christopherpriestley I suppose it would depend on the age gap. My second is three years apart from my first, the first year was rough but now they're 4+7 and little best friends, they stuck up for each other, distract each other and it's brilliant. My third is 10 months old and this adjustment has been absolute hell
iambradwhoareu
New member
@christopherpriestley I only have one and am expecting #2 right now.
I can't say for sure that the second will be worth it, but I CAN say that in my own life I have seen time after time how having the 'right' mindset can make things a whole lot easier.
When I take my older kiddo out now, if she has reasonably good behavior and enjoys most of the outing I consider it a success. This means focusing more on the big picture and enjoyment then every misbehavior and negative experience. I plan to bring that same mindset to parenting...set myself a reasonable bar and set mindful goals for myself that can help me feel accomplished even if from a different POV things might be a disaster.
I can't say for sure that the second will be worth it, but I CAN say that in my own life I have seen time after time how having the 'right' mindset can make things a whole lot easier.
When I take my older kiddo out now, if she has reasonably good behavior and enjoys most of the outing I consider it a success. This means focusing more on the big picture and enjoyment then every misbehavior and negative experience. I plan to bring that same mindset to parenting...set myself a reasonable bar and set mindful goals for myself that can help me feel accomplished even if from a different POV things might be a disaster.
kristianhansen
New member
@christopherpriestley The best description I have ever heard for the difference between going from 0-1 vs 1-2 is this...
Going from 0-1 kid creates an existential crisis.
Going from 1-2 creates a logistical crisis.
So, whether or not one is harder than the other, depends on what is easier for you personally to cope with. Is it harder for you to cope with your entire identity shifting, or managing multiple people with different needs.
Going from 0-1 kid creates an existential crisis.
Going from 1-2 creates a logistical crisis.
So, whether or not one is harder than the other, depends on what is easier for you personally to cope with. Is it harder for you to cope with your entire identity shifting, or managing multiple people with different needs.
schismtracer
New member
@christopherpriestley I am a pregnant ftm and i plan on stopping at one. In my mind or heart i would love to have more, i love being pregnant so far but i think with only one i could give her all my attention and affection/ time/energy more than if i had another. I am also staying at home mom and plan on homeschooling. One and done for me. I have pets too so they keep me very busy lol
lovemeg101
New member
@christopherpriestley as someone who is going from 0-1 personally, but my boyfriend is 1-2, i feel as if i’m blessed and cursed. It’s such a crazy adjustment trying to find my footing in parenting a newborn, but having a toddler who has such a strong personality and has that only child complex, it’s stressful and it’s definitely one of my reasons I told my partner that our baby girl was it for me. I’m just fine with my one, plus my bonus kiddo, because i could not imagine the stress i’d have with a newborn and not being able to send the toddler home to the other parent at night 