I'm 16 and my dad makes have dinner at 7 PM and go to sleep by 8 PM. Is that normal?

K

keepy

New member
I usually wake up at 5:30 AM when I need to go to school and around 8 AM and 9 AM in the weekends
/vacations. I've had this rule all my life and my dad says i'm going to have to have to follow it until I move out for college. To be honest this it's pretty annoying because it makes my day so much shorter and i'm never tired enough to sleep at that hour unless I had a particularly exhausting day.
So, parents of Reddit, is it normal that at my age I have this restriction, and how do you manage this situation with your own kids?

Ps: Sorry for the bad english
 
@keepy Do you mean that your dad tells you to go to your room at 8 PM? Are you allowed to have some time to do what you want before bed?

All this being said, 5:30 am is pretty early to wake up and most people don't get enough sleep so if you are sleeping by 9 PM or so, that would be a healthy thing to do. Most teens need 8-10 hours of sleep.
 
@keepy If you have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, going to your room and getting ready for bed at 8:00 is not unreasonable. You should be actually asleep by 9:00 or 10:00. Im amusing your dad works long shifts. If you wanna stay up longer maybe wash the dishes. Clean up after dinner.
 
@keepy As long as you're getting all your school work done. I think it's good to sleep early. Most teenagers don't. Either too much work or they put sleeping off to use their phones.
When you go off to college you might have to sleep late anyways because of work.
Enjoy this while it lasts.
 
@keepy Normal is subjective, but this routine you should not get out of; it will pay off later in life. When you party and stay up late, plan accordingly to recover the next day, but get back into schedule ASAP. Party often, but it doesn't always need to be late night.

You're going to wish you could sleep this much when you're older.
 
@keepy Ok well I will probably get downvoted for this, but I think this is not normal. At 16, you shouldn't have a set bedtime by your parent. You should be able to decide when you go to bed, based on if you are tired or not. The fact that you are not tired enough to sleep, even after getting up so early, shows that you are going to bed too early. You are more likely to sleep better if you go to bed when you are tired, not when you are not tired.

For reference, I am 20, and I haven't had a bedtime since I was around 12. Now, I tend to go to sleep around midnight and get up around 7-8am, depending on the weekday. On the weekends, I sleep in a bit. This works for me, because I go to bed when I'm tired and feel plenty rested in the morning. If I go to bed too early, I start thinking too much since I'm not tired yet, and end up having a lot of anxiety. I had to change my sleep schedule several years back due to this.

As you may have guessed based on my age, I am not a parent. However, I am close in age, with parents that are really good and chose to not have a bedtime past around 12 years old.
 
@beaconoflight I think it always depends on the person. In general, I would agree with you, but I've met people who just don't know their limits. Literally grown babies - they exert all their energy because they're having fun then all the sudden crash. I read several articles where some HS kid was playing game non stop for 72hrs and died - the mom let him play cause it was covid and the weekend, but the kid literally didn't stop playing game non stop.

So while I agree with your statement, it's only applicable to responsible people. And people, especially underage kids, should not self evaluate their ability to be responsible - it should be judged by a 3rd person (i.e. trustworthy sane rational parents). Problem is we don't know either of them to choose a side.
 
@keepy I thought this was going to be about having supper so close to bedtime, then I re-noticed your age.

It IS an early bedtime. HOWEVER, you get up really early for school. Do you get space between school and supper to relax, do homework, hang with friends or anything like that ?
 
@keepy First of all: Defining a bedtime that is supposed to last "until you move out for college" is ridiculous and I hope your dad was exaggerating.

There might be reasons as to why it is appropriate now. A wake-up time at 5:30 is incredibly early in my book, but with it being so early it does make sense for you to go to bed early so you get enough hours of sleep.

It's not on me to judge whether 8 is the right time, because that is highly subjective, but considering you're not tired yet at 8, it's probably too early.

I assume your dad wants some alone-time in the evening. Maybe you can compromise that you'll be in your room by 8 but don't actually have to be in bed until 9 or so?
 
@keepy If you’re up that early, and you have time to unwind after you’re sent to bed it’s not off it’s head. At 16 I would set a later bedtime but most teens are not up at 5.30! You must be a good kid. Can you negotiate a later bedtime by offering to do some extra chores on the weekend or before school (you have plenty of time then!)
 
@keepy Every house is different. In the end, you’re going to have your “own” bedtime in 2yrs, so yah know, there’s that. It’s not a hill worth dying on, when there are so many wonderful others hills worth taking a stand over. It may suck now, but it won’t matter in a couple of years & you may not even feel that much of anything about it because it won’t affect you anymore. At least that’s how I feel on my end right now.
 
@keepy My 16 year old has a bedtime of 9:30 on school nights but doesn't get up until 7 so that's about the same as yours, accounting for the time difference. It's reasonable, she is rested in the morning and ready for school. Teens need lots of sleep!
 
@keepy My 12 yr old gets her electronics taken away at 8:30 pm, but doesn't have a set bedtime. She's usually sleeping by 10. My 16 year old also doesn't have a bed time she gets up for school at 5:50 and never gives me trouble with getting out of bed. The only reason I take my younger daughters electronics at night is because she would stay up all night (she's a night owl) and does give me trouble getting out of bed at 6:45. I don't think bed times really work for teenagers. My kids always just go to bed when they're tired whether that's 7pm or 12 am. But every household is different what works for my family may not work for yours
 
@keepy I think it's absurd. At 16, you should be encouraged to figure out the hours that work for you.

It's not cruel, and it's not abuse, and there probably isn't anything you can do about it. But I think it's absurd.
 
@keepy How on earth do you get all of your homework/study done?? Are you just lying there at 8pm trying to fall asleep?

It’s batshit crazy to fall asleep one hour after eating dinner. Your dad is controlling.

Don’t rock the boat. If you want to stay up later than 8pm he will start checking on you if you make it clear that you are pushing back.
 
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