How much parental leave did u take?

[aihi]

My company offers up to 15 weeks of paid paternal leave for dad’s but concerned how it may be viewed if I take all or most of it. Any thoughts from people that are planning to take parental leave as a new dad or have taken it? How much were u allowed to take and how much did u take? What would u do differently? Thanks!

 

[throwawayaccount81]

@aihi Take it all you’ll never regret it

 

[ladyw]

@aihi Take every minute you can get that’s paid, and more if you can swing it.

A job is just a job even if you love it, they’ll never be this small and need you this much again.

 

[daughterofgod99]

@aihi Ours offers 4 weeks. I will take every last moment I’m allowed to take. I took that off for our first kid and I will do it again. Even more so I’ve spoken with my wife about me even taking FMLA for extra time off unpaid. You won’t get that time with your kid back. And not to bring the post down, as a father who has lost a child, work can piss off if they want to make me feel bad for it.

Look at it this way, if say half of your coworkers told the company/boss that they are willing to take less money for their salary would you take less money as well just because you’d be viewed differently if you didn’t?

I know I’m being super blunt but seriously if they want to change the benefit then change the benefit. I will not be gaslighted into not using a benefit because of someone’s view.

 

[diepkloof]

@daughterofgod99 This is the gold standard reply for whenever this question comes up! Absolutely spot on!

I live in the UK and only get 2 weeks paid paternity leave. I took the full amount and it’s nowhere near enough. (I am a teacher though, so the shortness of that leave is slightly made up for by the fact that for both of my kids, there was a school holiday shortly after my leave ended). If 15 weeks had been available, I’d have taken every last day of it and any staff, student or parent who questioned that would be told where to go, very bluntly. Family before job, always.

 

[bebop516]

@aihi Take every single day offered. No job is worth missing out on being part of this.

I’ve been working at a big tech company for 6 years, and the last 3 have been pretty awful. The pay is well below market, the work is mostly boring, and the stress is not great. I’ve stuck it out for a couple reasons, but the biggest is the paternity leave: 6 months paid. Only a few weeks away from our baby’s arrival date and I’m so glad that I get to be fully in it for so long before having to go back to work. It’s all been worth it for this.

 

[user94]

@aihi Damn I only got 2 weeks paid and using another 40 hours of banked vacation to buy me another week. You guys with all that parental leave. I envy you...

 

[cpossanza]

@aihi 15 must be sequential? Taking a big chunk at start then rest later might be nice (subjective).

 

[ws371]

@cpossanza Yep, mine has to be done all at once and cannot be broken up.

 

[thedeconverter]

@ws371 i debated so hard about this and everyone has to do what’s best for their own situation, but i am so so so glad i took it all at once. The one thing id personally not recommend is doing working 3 days and off 2 or something, everyone i talked to said your work still just gives you full time work and expects you to get it done. If you split it up, make sure you take a few weeks off at a
time so you aren’t expected to do anything and can be fully present to your family.

 

[soakker]

@aihi “concerned how it may be viewed”
Those people can fuck right off.

 

[foralltruth]

@soakker Anyone without kids, doesn’t understand.

Anyone with kids, is a shitty parent/partner.

(Sure, there are exceptions to everything.)

 

[gbu]

@aihi I’m currently at the end of week 4 of 10 week parental leave. It’s flying by so fast. I’m really glad I took this time since it was a C section so I can be around to help out my wife and spend a lot of time with my daughter. I work in the construction industry so taking any time off for a kid as a male is rare, I was really nervous about my job when it was time to take my leave (I shouldn’t be, we have laws in place where I live for this type of leave) and maybe even thought about shortening it, I’m glad I didn’t and kinda wished I’d taken 12 weeks.

 

[thedeconverter]

@gbu if your company is fmla eligible - you might be able too! i’d recommend contacting hr to ask if it’s possible to extend it or save it knowing you have 2 weeks if you need to help for doctors appointments or random things during the year. just don’t let it go unused if you can help it !

 

[iserveonemaster]

@aihi Jeez I'm truly surprised at all the comments. Seems like everyone and their momma gets 6+weeks of paid leave. I had 2 weeks of pto.

 

[thedeconverter]

@iserveonemaster i mean there is only 58 comments in this thread, that’s hardly representative of every person, not to mention the selection bias you get of who is on reddit and furthermore who is on predaddit.

 

[ws371]

@iserveonemaster I suppose if they already had a bit of money saved up. Personally, I don’t have a lot for emergency savings. Most of my money is saved for retirement.

 

[kyle16]

@iserveonemaster My company offers 6 weeks full paid. 12 if you're salaried. You can 12 weeks FMLA through the state, and the state will pay 80% of your pay up to like $1040/wk

 

[happyje]

@iserveonemaster Yeah I don’t get any paternity leave but am planning to use pretty much all of my vacation days (4 weeks) to stay home for that time.

 

[beunice4]

@aihi Take all of it — your partner will need you and the time spent with the baby is invaluable. I took 2.5 months and it wasn’t enough time.

Who cares about how people will view it at your company. Do you feel guilty about cashing your paycheck?