How long do your babies sleep? What’s your sleep setup?

[lemonbalm]

My 8 week old twins are sleeping 0.5 - 2hrs. The 2hr stretches are sooo rare. They snack and snack and snack - I’m EBFing. Reaching a point of exhaustion.

I want to know your babies’ longest stretch of sleep at night? How old are they and what’s your sleep setup?

Looking for light at the end of the tunnel and/or some advice. I’m ashamed to admit that we are now reactive co-sleeping despite my strict policy for safe sleep. My dream night is the boys in their own cribs, waking up 2-4hrs at a time (or 4-6hrs? Whatever’s age appropriate). I don’t know if that’s realistic anymore.

I’m having the hardest time being consistent with a night routine- I’ve resorted to one I can do by myself so I don’t have to rely on other people helping me (baby massage, sleep sack, boob, bed). My true dream night routine is bath, boob, bed because they sleep like angels after a bath- but consistency is hard. Unless I can solo bathe them?

And also am I messing up by nursing to sleep? They love comfort nursing and it instantly puts them to sleep when they wake up crying. It’s like magic. But I don’t know anymore if I’m truly feeding or becoming a human pacifier.

And also maybe I should just start pumping bec I never know how much my boys are taking, so it’s not always a full feed? But EBF is so easy with no bottles and less stuff to bring when traveling.

Ok I am rambling now. I just don’t want to mess up this whole sleep thing. I want to set us up for success - twins are hard and sleep is shit right now. And I just want rest.

Tl;dr I’m an exhausted and sleepless mom of 8-week old twins. Waiting for light at the end of the tunnel. How long do your babies sleep? What age? What’s your sleep setup and routine?

 

[katrina2017]

@lemonbalm the clusterfeeding behavior is so normal but with 2 babies it is beyond exhausting. i understand how hard it is. at that age, my girls were up at least every 2-3hrs to feed. a couple of the intense safe sleep rules were broken in times of desperation. their sleep REALLY improved around 12ish weeks, they started sleeping 6-8hr stretches, sometimes more! then the regressions come and go but that’s babies. time helps more than anything. you’re doing great!

 

[lemonbalm]

@katrina2017 Thank you! Did you do anything to improve their sleep at 12ish weeks?
or maybe it happens naturally?

 

[bootsie1]

@lemonbalm Don't worry too much it will happen naturally. All animals when they are first born feed frequently between shorter periods and then as they grow becomes less often and in more amounts so they are fuller longer. Like the above poster said, it will get easier in time and after a little while you can talk to your pediatrician about sleep training. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

 

[katrina2017]

@lemonbalm it seemed to just happen naturally, but like i said, we’d be doing great, then a regression, doing great, then a regression, repeated that cycle about 4-5 times as they reached new physical milestones!

who would have thought their sleep really got way more consistent and predictable the older they goti blamed myself for too long, instead of accepting that, it’s just how infants sleep in the first year..

and we couldn’t sleep train, i just couldn’t get the hang of it

 

[dallaskay]

@lemonbalm Ours are 16 weeks. We had to triple feed for a while. From about 5/6 weeks I breastfed during the day (supplementing as needed) and pumped at night. My twins were not very effective at bf so bottles at night was a way to ensure they got a full feed. Until about 13/14 weeks they were doing 3 hr stretches at night, occasionally 4 hrs. Since 13/14 weeks, I’ve been able to EBF (with one bottle of formula) and focus on feeding every 2-2.5 hours during the day so they fill up and at night we are getting stretches of 3-6 hours. Usually 4-4-3. The first 12 weeks are madness - my mantra was “you can’t spoil a newborn” and I didn’t focus much on “bad habits”, just surviving. Now we’re trying to be a bit more disciplined about good habits and routine, particularly around nursing to sleep. Sometimes it just has to be done but if I can avoid the association, I will. It gets better.

 

[lemonbalm]

@dallaskay 3-4hr stretches sound awesome to me right now. At 16 weeks, what are you doing for trying to avoid nursing to sleep when possible to prevent association?

 

[dallaskay]

@lemonbalm For naps I try to feed when they wake so it’s feed-play-sleep-feed-play-etc. For bed we try to do big feed in the living room, play, bath(2-3 times a week), jammies, top up feed in the rocking chair, book/song, bed. We’re still rocking them to sleep as they’re only 12 weeks adjusted but will be looking to sleep train soon. During the night they don’t seem to fully wake, it’s mostly dream feeding. I feed Baby A, husband burps and puts to bed while I (usually dream) feed Baby B, husband burps and puts to bed. I’ve done it on my own few times but we find it way more efficient to both get up.

 

[ruthiedee]

@lemonbalm I can’t help you much since I couldn’t get the hang of breast feeding and they had to be supplemented with formula so I just went with formula because I needed sleep. From 0-2.5 months it was every 3 hours. Wake, change diapers, feed, back to bed. 2.5 months or so we started getting 4-5 hour stretches. 3 months was a dream month. Both slept through the night mostly the whole month.

I would say if you are able to pump, while I understand the hassle, you could see how much they’re eating and try to get them to eat more.

 

[lemonbalm]

@ruthiedee Thanks for sharing. Did you have to do anything to get them to sleep through the night at 3 months?

 

[ruthiedee]

@lemonbalm No. It was pure magic that only lasted 30 days after that it hasn’t really happened again and they’re about to turn 1.

 

[katrina2017]

@lemonbalm The fact that they are snacking multiple times means that they are not getting full and waking up for hunger. You could try with pumping milk and give a bottle each, it should help with giving the whole amount at once.

 

[coloradoguy]

@lemonbalm Do you bug ‘em while they nurse? I know that might sound funny but sometimes if they are falling asleep on the boob before they get a full feed, that’s what’s maybe partially causing them to have short sleeps because they’re getting hungry again quickly, but they’re also not getting long sleeps so they’re too sleepy to eat enough.

Can you try rubbing the spine or top of the head while they eat to keep them awake? Or rub the cheek? Try to get them to eat for 5-10 mins at this age. That should be enough time to get them to the hind milk which is fattier and keeps them full longer. Just a thought. Good luck. I know it’s tough.

 

[xuxu]

@lemonbalm Ours slept max 3 hour stints at that age. You’re in the thick of it! Here are my two cents - and I think these might all be unpopular opinions…

We also ended up bed sharing, and it absolutely gets us all the most sleep. Definitely google the Safe Sleep Seven - it’s the evidence-based principles for safe(r) bed sharing. We put the bed on the floor and ikea play mats next to the bed for when they roll off. It helps immensely to not have to get up out of bed to feed them at night - I fall back asleep much easier, and they sleep much better. Sleep training was not our jam (no judgment).

Absolutely nothing wrong with feeding to sleep - it is magic, it’s a super power, and we need all the magic and super powers available as a twin parent.

On that note - I don’t think I believe in the idea that you can create bad habits for infants. I think those are kind of predatory myths from sleep consultants on the internet. Don’t stop doing the things that get you the most sleep and feels the most right. If and when some part of your system isn’t working for you anymore, you can always change it. You aren’t setting yourself up badly for the future. It will be fine.

It was really helpful for me to read about normal infant sleep and what to expect during the first year. Letting go of all expectations was the one thing that gave me more peace.

My only concrete piece of advice would be to try to get your babies outside in fresh air and exposed to sunlight early and often during the day. There’s evidence that this helps their little biological clocks get oriented to daytime/nighttime, and helps with nighttime sleep. Not sure how feasible that is depending on your latitude.

Two resources that have been really helpful for me are the La Leche League for parents of twins and multiples fb group for all things breastfeeding, and the Beyond Sleep Training Project fb group for all things bed sharing and feeding at night.

(Edited bc I accidentally posted too soon)

 

[xuxu]

Okay one other thing (and I credit that la leche league fb group for all the bf’ing and pumping knowledge) - know that pumping output is almost always not representative of what your babies can transfer at the breast. They’re much more efficient than the pump! So pumping and bottle feeding won’t give you a sense of what they’re consuming - only a weighted feed can tell you that.