How do you have time to do anything?

[introvertedbookworm]

@babszie I’ve recently learned that the ultimate life hack is having your partner handle pickup/dropoff.

Alternately, can you walk/bike to dropoff and get some exercise that way?

 

[maxgraham]

@babszie Ok, so this is my Type-A system for time management with a baby and FT demanding job. I realize this is kind of intense, but it has really helped me.

Separate from your to-do list at work, make a list of all the chores you have to do in a day, in a week, in a month, plus all the things you would LIKE to do (like exercise, and sleep!).

1. Automate - what could a robot do? Example: we have household items like diapers, soap, and dog food on automatic re-order and delivery, so we don't have to shop for supplies. We have a robot vacuum that keeps the floors relatively clean on a day-to-day basis. ChatGPT creates a weekly meal plan and grocery list for us that I paste into Instacart for delivery.
2. Outsource - what can I pay someone else to do? Examples are: a cleaning service, a meal delivery service or takeout instead of cooking, dog-walker, even a nanny who only drives your kid back and forth from your parents' house. It obviously depends on your budget, but if there is a chore you don't like that takes up a lot of time, IME it's totally worth it to sacrifice other things in order to outsource it. I know someone who hated washing her hair and it took a lot of time, so she gets a weekly blowout and brings her laptop so she works while at the salon.
3. Delegate - what can my husband or other loved ones do? For example, why the heck isn't your husband cleaning up after dinner? Could he do pickup or dropoff (or would your in-laws be willing to some days)? Could you trade childcare with another mom for a few hours on the weekend? I cook dinner 3-4 nights a week because I enjoy cooking, and then my husband cleans up the kitchen after I go to bed. The other nights we get takeout or eat leftovers. My husband obviously can't breastfeed our son, but he washes bottles and pump parts.
4. Multitask - what can be done at the same time? Exercise and quality time with your baby is a great example. There are "mommy and me" home workouts on YouTube, go for a walk, stroller jog, or run around the yard and do a little fitness obstacle course. Chores are another one, since little kids think they're fun. Maybe you could cook dinner earlier, and have your toddler "help" in the kitchen. Or get him a little toy vacuum and dustbrush and clean up together. My baby is only 8mo and he "helps" me fold laundry (by giggling and rolling around while I wave the clothes in the air, lol). My husband and I take calls or listen to audiobooks a lot while doing chores or driving. We save any customer service type calls for our commutes.
5. Delete - what can I let go of? This is more about adjusting your expectations for this season of life. Having a baby has helped me realize that it's really ok to have an unmade bed and dusty bookshelves. It's ok to eat off paper plates so no one has to do dishes. You can't do everything, so you have to be intentional about what's the most important, and be flexible with your routine week to week.

Re exercise, I work remotely so have more time in the mornings to work out at home. And on days I'm in the office, there is a gym I can use on lunch breaks. If I was in the office 5x week with no gym, I would be doing a lot more multitasking workouts with my baby or just trying to get steps in.

 

[kumari5050]

@babszie I do have to keep a pretty rigid schedule. I do still frequently feel exhausted so no help on that part. First, don't expect too much when your kid isn't even 2 yet. Small bits of progress are to be celebrated, but I'm sharing that there is hope for the years to come!

I usually wake up around 5:00 to either go for a run or go to the gym. I'll get home and jump in the shower around 6:30, and leave for work at 7:30. My husband does a lot of the morning stuff with the kids like getting them breakfast and brushing teeth (and it does get better as they get older and start to sleep in more!). I then work until 4:30. We eat a little later and during the summer my kids do stay up later at night, but during the school year bedtime is at 8 for one and 8:30 for the other. I'm in bed no later than 10, and prefer 9:30.

Watching TV until you fall asleep isn't doing you any favors The light and stimulation can really wreck your sleep rhythms, causing you to not get as restful sleep as you need. It is a haaaarrrrd cycle to break because you're so exhausted you can't do anything, and yet doing nothing makes you more exhausted. It's one of those situations where you have to "pick your hard."

I also generally take a 2 hour nap at least once on the weekends.

 

[jimbeta]

@kumari5050 Napping is totally how I get by lol

 

[nek1]

@babszie I work out during my lunch break at work, or it would never happen

 

[jcox64]

@babszie Sounds about right I leave for work at 645 am, and I’m not done with my kids until after 9 pm (and that’s with an extremely involved co-parent!). I have figured out that I can only exercise at 530 am and the weekends. It’s tough to make that happen.

 

[kellyawarren7]

@babszie This sounds like my schedule - however, I’m a single mom. If your husband is not helping out with the chores and childcare duties (which is how it sounds here), that needs to change. What’s your husband doing while you’re managing all of this?

 

[emilyhall]

@babszie you don't. it's totally normal. as baby gets older things will be easier in that respect.

 

[roundthemountain]

@babszie Working out from home was the only way I was able to incorporate regular exercise when my kids were little. I was able to get in the best shape of my life with hand weights, an exercisr mat, and being diligent about my routine. I started with the 21 Day Fix Beachbody disc and now have developed my own routine related to that. With a warm up, pushups, and some stretching afterwards, it takes me about 45 minutes, but I you could cut some of that out and do it in 30. High intensity interval training doesn't take a lot of time but can get you in great shape. I've found with doing so I have the stamina and fitness to do any physical activity that comes up.

Otherwise, on weekends take your kiddo swimming (I would swim laps and push my baby around in a baby inner tube), for stroller jogs, and on hikes.

The other question is your husband's role in all of this. If he could help with pick-up or dinner a couple nights a week that would give you a little more time.

 

[flowera]

@babszie I wasn’t really able to exercise or do anything not in survival mode until my toddler turned 2. I think I was just sleeping better so I could get up earlier and work out, or have energy and focus to go for walks during lunch.

 

[newfielove]

@babszie I dont Im debating taking a week off having someone watch the baby so I can catch up but then I feel guilty!

 

[301mikeeh]

@babszie My son is the same age but he goes to bed around 8/8:30 and is up 6:45-7 so we have a little more time in the evening after daycare. I set a goal for myself of going to the gym 3 times per week, one of those being on the weekend. I also try to walk with the stroller every day for 30 min weather permitting; some times my husband joins us. The only way I have been able to fit the gym in, is to trade off evenings with my husband. We also go as a family to the Y and use Child Watch in the evenings twice per week for 45-60 min. I can go on Saturday mornings and use Child Watch. Honestly it’s been a lifesaver for me. I am nowhere near as in shape as before I had my son, but it helps me a lot mentally.

 

[lostsoul_]

@babszie What we did: alternate who handles bedtime routines. While one person reads books with the toddler, the other one tidies up. That has you done with chores by the time the kid is asleep, freeing up time for an exercise session around 8:30.

 

[autumn1123]

@babszie Are you able to WFH at all, or join a gym by your office? I use my break time at work to exercise, plus weekends. For me, running is the easiest thing because you just lace up and walk outside (no setting up equipment or traveling to a gym). My husband also does jui jitsu a couple nights a week, and I use the other nights to work out, go out with friends, do crafts, etc. Our baby is 15 months. On the weekend, we do a family run with both parents, baby in a jogging stroller, and the dog on Saturday and then do our own separate activities on Sunday, tagging in and out of childcare.

 

[katrina2017]

@babszie Super normal. I didn’t start feeling like I had time for anything until my kids were 2 or 3. It just takes time!

 

[amyf]

@babszie It's hard, and I agree with other posters that it's a stage in life that I've come to accept. I'm just getting back into it and my kids are 7 and 4. I try to walk or go to gym classes on the weekend. And 1-2 nights a week, my husband does pickup, so I can go to a gym class.

 

[meggsydoll]

@babszie Just came here to give solidarity. Pre-baby I worked out 5 to 6 times a week for an hour. Now 4mpp I can only find time on the weekends and even that is difficult considering all the things that need to get done arpund the house. My husband contributes 50% or more and still there is no time in the day. Personally, I value sleep. I can't function in my high demanding job if I dont get enough sleep.

 

[noteschristian]

@babszie That's a hard stage of life for moms! You sound like a superhero compared to what I was managing when my kids were that age. Please don't be hard on yourself. It really does get easier in the coming years!

I agree with the questions about your husband. It's hard to suggest solutions without knowing his involvement.

My best advice is to start small. Don't sign up for the gym today. Start with some stretches and simple exercises at home. I like the ideas to take baby for a walk. A small boost from these activities will give you energy to do more when you're ready.

Is there anything you can remove from your plate by outsourcing? I rely on grocery delivery, and I know a lot of people hire cleaners. If you and your husband are both busy with work, it might be time to consider these services as a sort of business expense.

 

[tash1982]

@babszie To answer your q I feel like I only have time to do anything bc I work from home! You’re def not doing anything wrong, you just don’t have a lot of time. Don’t beat yourself up. If I were you and working out was something I wanted to prioritize, I’d pick two nights a week. Have partner pick up the kid those days and hit the gym on way home or do an outside or at home workout. Before I had kids, I’d change at office and run after work bc I liked running along waterfront—and then head home. Maybe you could do something like that on your designated nights. Just make it something you LIKE doing so you’ll stick with it. You could even do just one weekday night and do the other workout on weekends.

I work from home like I said and I still only have time to workout like 2x week. I’m trying to be more consistent now that I just scored a jogging stroller though… so another option is to find a way to fit your son into your workout routine like an evening walk as others have suggested!

 

[dkeefe]

@babszie If you want to exercise, you'll have to exercise on the weekends and/or during your lunch break.

You're not mismanaging your time, you're just busy. That's the whole thing with small kids, they're exhausting.