Posted this as a comment in my bump group but figured I’d ask here too. Our c-section is scheduled in 3 days and I’m struggling to wrap my mind around this..
Can anyone who’s done shifts with their partner with a newborn give me an idea of schedules/how it worked? If I’m breastfeeding & pumping, is it realistic to have my husband take like a 9-2 shift so I can get 5 hours or sleep and then I take 2-7, or will I still have to get up to pump? And when doing shifts does one of you stay awake the entire time or are you still sleeping when bub sleeps and just waking up for the feedings? If you’re staying awake, what are you doing during that time to make sure you’re not messing up bub’s circadian rhythm..like can I watch netflix quietly or play video games with him sleeping next to me or does it have to be totally dark & quiet? The type-A planner part of me is having a really hard time figuring out how the nights are gonna look.
ETA: you all are so helpful, I cannot thank you enough for all the responses!
@perfectlove25 From my memory, little new blend needs to eat like every 2 hrs ish. So, someone’s feeding via a breast or bottle. As for your pump schedule, that varies by person. But, yeah - you might wake up to pump.
I think it’s best to have on-duty but can be asleep if the kid is asleep. They are just the first line of defense if there’s a baby need.
For lights- I’d scroll with low brightness. Minimal noise. One ear bud in & watch tv. Mostly though try to sleep
@perfectlove25 Unfortunately I think to give yourselves the best shot at successful breastfeeding (if thats your goal) then you need to pump every 2-3hr/after every feed. So unless your supply is substantial and you have enough right away for bottles for your partner to give during your rest, you will need an alternative to give LO (formula) and you’ll probably have to pump at least once. When you’re in the hospital the IBLC will be able to tell you exactly what to do!
@more88 How long do you really need to pump every 2-3 hours? Like is it days, weeks, or months? Can you eventually add extra pumping sessions during the day and 1/2 the night in order to get a consecutive 5-6 hours of sleep?
I'm in a similar spot at OP, due this week and husband and I are hoping to do half-night shifts eventually. Low sleep really wrecks my mental health, but I very much want to give BF everything I've got, so I'm looking for a balance that is ultimately sustainable.
@stephonydburghduff Once your milk supply is 'established' you can go to 5-6 hours without pumping or feeding and it won't affect your supply. That usually happens around 12 weeks. I think I had to feed my baby every 2-3 hours around the clock for 6 weeks, then it dropped to every 4 hours overnight and then around 3 months I could go to 6-7 hours overnight and be fine. But it's crucial to not skip a feed during the early days to get a good and steady supply.
@stephonydburghduff So the necessity of pumping and how often is based on when your milk comes in and if you want to bottle feed as well! My IBLC encouraged pumping pretty much immediately after birth because LO was hypoglycemic (due to my GDM) and also not gaining weight well so we needed supplementation right away but my milk came in I think by day 3. I was told that latching every 2hr is best to establish breast feeding but also to pump after feeds. I think they said if you still need to triple feed after a week then you should be seen by IBLC.
@more88 Oof I don’t think I could triple feed for very long, that might be a turn to formula for me!
My primary reason for hoping to pump is so that others can feed my baby while I sleep and eventually go back to school part time at 2mo. I want to breastfeed as much as possible, but am trying to be realistic about sleep and mental health!
@stephonydburghduff Don’t worry my experience may not be like the one you have! I had every risk factor for low supply and then when I finally got the hang of things two weeks in we had other issues (baby is allergic to cows milk protein etc) so I threw in the towel re: BF around 5 weeks. But I know many women who had 0 issues and maybe pumped a little bit to get things steady and then had no issues! I do also recommend following the formula fairy on IG she gives great info about choosing formulas!
@stephonydburghduff I think it takes a few months for most breastfeeding mothers to get 6 consecutive hours of sleep. Some lucky ones will be able to make it in weeks.
I'd say it was several weeks before I was able to get 6 hours of (non-consecutive) night sleep. Before that point, I was getting close to half of my sleep during daytime hours while my husband held the baby.
But pumping every 3 hours during the day will almost certainly be months. I pumped that frequently until my baby was 9 months old and I was able to expand that to every 4 hours.
@trinichristiannudist Thanks! Pumping every 3 hours during the day for months sounds fine, I’m just worried about the sleep! Seems like I’ll be heavily relying on my husband and village to nap whenever I can!
@trinichristiannudist Wow, so if I’m reading right was it several months before you could sleep longer stretches at a time without having to get up to pump or feed? I’m with @stephonydburghduff, I know my mental health takes a hit fast when I’m sleep deprived (thanks depression and GAD) so I’m worried about not getting at least one solid stretch of sleep. I was probably naively hoping that going one 5-6hr stretch without it wouldn’t affect my supply much but that seems to not be the case
@perfectlove25 Based on all this and my centering pregnancy group advice, I think my plan it to try EBF for 3-4 weeks, and then start giving pumped bottles. Im hoping by about 8wks I can pump extra during the day/my night shift in order to get a 5hr chunk of sleep each night. If not we’re heading to combo-feeding, which may be needed regardless!
Good luck to us! I hope your delivery goes well this week!!
@perfectlove25 Well, I didn't try skipping any feeds, so I can't say whether my supply would have been impacted. But most babies aren't going to have a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep until they're a couple of months old. If you're OK with your husband giving a bottle overnight, then it's definitely possible to get more sleep.
@stephonydburghduff You're supply will be "stabilizing" over the first 2-3months. After that it becomes more of a produce as needed. In the beginning it will be tough. Don't get discouraged! But the more you pump or suckle, the more that builds up. Also, food does play a role in supply.
@fpjazyevaz Thanks! I want to give it my all, definitely. I just also an trying to be realistic about how much stress and lack of sleep have impacted my mental health in the past, and I know a mentally healthy mother is more essential than any one way of feeding!
@stephonydburghduff Yeah, it's really common to get PPD. But just remember to communicate with your partner and others. You aren't alone and no one is the perfect mom. That's just toxic bs spread by insufferable insecure people. Do what you have to to survive and ask for breaks whenever you can get them. Prioritize sleep over everything else and it will help
@more88 I’m definitely planning to pump after several feeds so I guess a lot of this is dependent on how easily I can get my supply up to have bottles for the husband’s shift. But based on yours and others responses I guess I’ll plan to wake up to pump rather than sleeping the whole 5-6 hours.. thankfully my parents bought me a mini fridge for the bedroom so hopefully I can at least stay in bed while I do it and put the milk and the pump parts in there. Thank you!
@perfectlove25 My partner and I did shifts with our now 11-month-old. Unfortunately with breastfeeding it is hard to get a break long enough to get more than a 2-3 hour long break. Until your supply regulates around 6 weeks, you need to breastfeed or pump whenever the baby eats. Or at least that's what they say... I have only done this once with one kid, I don't know it all!
I didn't pump that early on, and I don't think I would have liked doing it in the middle of the night (where do you store the pumped milk? Don't you then have to get out of bed? Idk) Instead when my husband was on shift he would handle diaper changes, soothing etc and only bring the baby to me to be fed. I still had to wake up but I got back to sleep faster than on my shift because he was handling everything else.
At the beginning we found it really hard to sleep when the baby slept so the person on duty was awake. We put her mini crib in the living room and whoever was up would watch TV on low volume. The lights were off so it still felt like 'nighttime' for circadian rhythm purposes. We did not end up having day night confusion issues.
I would recommend though that as soon as you can calm down enough the person on duty should at least try to doze while baby is sleeping. Not very good or deep sleep is still sleep!
