How do night shifts work with a newborn?

[neuroclusterbrain]

@perfectlove25 I can’t speak to the breastfeeding/pumping part as we formula fed happily by choice from pretty much the beginning. BUT shifts worked tremendously for us. Having that 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night was a sanity saver and really really helped me recover from my c-section.

I would go to bed in our master bedroom around 8pm and my husband would hang out with LO in the livingroom until around 10pm. Then he would take her upstairs to her room (we are lucky to have room for a full sized bed in her room as well as her crib). He would stay with her until 3am. I would tap him out and he would go sleep until 9am (while he was on leave with me).

When it was my shift I tried to sleep when she slept. It’s hard at first because you feel like you should stay awake and stare at them sleeping all night but as long as they’re in a crib/basinet, by themselves, with nothing else except a fitted sheet and swaddle/sleepsack, they are safe and it’s ok for you to sleep. If I was up feeding her I had a show I was binging on my phone and would put one AirPod in so that the sounds wouldn’t make her think it’s day time and time to be awake! Or I scrolled Reddit haha.

 

[iamamuslimsowhat]

@neuroclusterbrain Same here (except that I still breastfeed and supplement with formula; my husband just gives the baby formula bottles during his “shifts”)!

I found that doing shifts - in different rooms/floors - were much easier for me because if I was in the same room and we all tried to sleep at the same time, I was up pretty much 100% of the time hearing his little noises and grunts, even if he wasn’t fully awake. The shift arrangement helps me more as I’m able to get a solid few hours of sleep while my husband gets up with him.

 

[perfectlove25]

@iamamuslimsowhat Can I ask if you pumped at all or was it just breastfeeding & formula? I’ve been debating on doing that too to save the hassle of pumping and cleaning but I’m worried about it affecting my supply if we supplement with formula vs pumped milk.. although I guess theoretically it’s all supply and demand so if we kept up with that, it wouldn’t be an issue I don’t think?

 

[iamamuslimsowhat]

@perfectlove25 Of course! I didn’t have a great supply to start with, so we have always supplemented with formula from the beginning (my baby was a month early and I had severe pre-eclampsia with a ton of complications during and after delivery).

I actually commented on another post today and will say the same thing here- I still struggle with the fact that my body just wasn’t able to 100% provide for my baby, but at the same time, my baby is super healthy and happy (and I am too now!). It’s actually a relief for me to know that I don’t need to be hindered to either my boobie barnacle or a pump machine because he’s totally fine with formula if needed.

It’s all such a completely personal choice, but for us, breastfeeding first and then supplementing with the formula if he’s still hungry works! If I’m too exhausted or if my husband is “on duty,” we’ll do mainly formula bottles. I DO still pump about every 4 hours or when I have some free time, but it takes me several pumping sessions to get a full bottle’s worth. To me, pumping is draining since I don’t produce a lot, but bottle cleaning is also a completely different beast.

Either way, you’ll figure out quickly what works best for you and your baby! Congrats on your new addition

 

[kennethb]

@perfectlove25 I hope your babe is a good sleeper and you can sleep when they sleep! That’s ideal. Mine would only sleep on top of us for her first two weeks of life. So sleep while baby sleeps wasn’t happening. I definitely watched Netflix while she slept, otherwise I wouldn’t have made it. I turn the tv off when she’s awake.

 

[feelinglostagain]

@perfectlove25 I could get away with pumping every four hours overnight for the first like 12 weeks. So you should pump and go bed and maybe for the first wake also pump. Then try to get a four hour stretch. You make the most milk like early morning so you def want to pump at like 3/4 AM and then again in the morning. But if you want to just breastfeed then you should just put baby to breast mostly esp at the beginning. Your shifts could be you "sleeping" aka hubby gets up gets baby changes diaper and literally just had to you. He does everything else on his shift. If you end up just formula then different story!

 

[alexfrankone]

@perfectlove25 Depends why you're pumping. If you don't need to build a stash yet or have supply issues I would honestly not pump at all until 6 or 8 weeks. Just sleep and feed on demand/every 3 hours. Double/triple feeding is a real sleep thief and you need every minute you can get. In theory someone getting up to give a bottle will save you sleep but only if you don't pump. You'll sleep better just nursing and going back to sleep. You could every few days skip a pump to get 4 or 5 hours and dad give a bottle if you need to. If you need a stash quickly then I don't really have advice as I've never been in that situation thankfully. Good luck and congratulations

 

[fadi215]

@perfectlove25 It will depend on your baby! For us, I was breastfeeding and baby would sleep for 2-3 hour stretches in her bassinet so the routine was: husband changes diaper while I get ready to BF, then I BF, then he swaddled and rocked her to sleep. Then we started taking turns with who put her to sleep because it sometimes took too long and husband wasn’t getting enough chance to sleep. Now she’s 7 weeks and we still do this. We’re both able to get 4-5 hour stretches of sleep so “shifts” for us is just rotating who is responsible for getting her back to sleep

 

[lallen]

@perfectlove25 With my first I would get up and feed if she woke before 1 am or so. Then my husband would take the early morning hours. We combo fed so my husband would feed a bottle of formula, sometimes breast milk. I always had a tough time with my supply. I think because it was all so new and it took a long time to get her latch right without it killing my nips.

This time around (have a 1 week old) we supplemented a little the first 5 days or so while my milk came in but I did some things differently this time.

• I started drinking Mothers Milk tea once a day after the first couple days. I’ve been eating really well and snacking and prioritizing my mental health - doing lots of self care: rest, watching favorite shows, making sure to shower, spend time outside, visits from family and friends (they mask up around baby) etc.
• Nursing as often as he wakes up and will eat, typically every 2-3 hours to encourage milk to come in. He’s feeding roughly 8-10 times a day, for anywhere from 20 min to an hour.
• I try to expose baby to more light and background noise during the day and kept room dark at night with white noise to encourage longer stretches of sleep at night. Also feed more often in afternoon and early evening so he’s pretty full for that first stretch
• I’ll have baby relatch a few times until it’s right or at least not painful instead of just gritting my teeth through it.
• Applying nipple salve and wearing silver cups between most feeds.
• I put a Hakaa on other breast when feeding to collect let down to supplement during some longer cluster feeds, or to have a bottle when out of the house. (I absolutely hated pumping before so I’m trying to avoid it). If I don’t have any breast milk I’ll just use some formula.

This has all helped make breastfeeding so much smoother this time around so far and I haven’t supplemented with formula the past few days but I am definitely ok with formula when needed.

Because I want to breastfeed at night I’m pretty much am the sole one waking up at night. There have been a few nights I tag my husband in though if I haven’t been able to get any longer stretches or feel like I need one. I’ve been able to get about 5-7 hours at night.

 

[pdxtouge]

@perfectlove25 You will May have to get up to pump in order to keep up your supply. I did. And your husband will only be able to help if you bottle feed during those times, keep that in mind. I mean he can definitely get up and do a few things like diaper and get pumps though before you feed.

 

[repeet]

@perfectlove25 Unfortunately, it’s really hard to say! My newborn does great with noise. I can hold her and vacuum at the same time and she’s unbothered. Sudden loud movements will shake her a little and may or may not wake her.

If you are breastfeeding (breast/pump) you have to wake up when baby wakes up to feed/pump. You will want to wake up because engorgement will hurt and can lead to mastitis. We try to do 3-5 hour shifts based on what I can handle so husband can sleep as he has to work. My baby doesn’t sleep unless she’s held so it’s been rough and we barely make it through the days/nights. We run on so little sleep that we take it day by day and hoping for some routine.

 

[jim_87]

@perfectlove25 So I had a C-section and while I was at the hospital 95% of the time my husband was doing the feedings bc I couldn’t really hold him right bc of the pain. Tried pumping/BF and nothing was working so we did formula. When we got home my milk came in and pumping is so after feeding. But at night we’d pretty much both be up. Just incase I needed something. He had to work the next week after the birth so I was not about to keep him up but if I needed to I know he woulda took over for me. Also the baby pretty much came out with his own routine/schedule so I was able to sleep at night while he was asleep. Every 2 hours like clock work. He didn’t cry for anything else. However I did tend to change his diaper as well cuz he could sleep as comfy with a dirty diaper.

 

[brothergee]

@perfectlove25 We did shifts for a few weeks until baby started to sleep 5-6 hour stretches. Husband did the 6pm - 1-2 am and then we switched. During husband's shift he usually had the baby sleep on his chest so she slept very well, usually 3-4 hour stretches. That usually didn't happen when she slept in her crib. So during his shift I usually woke only once to breastfeed then go back to sleep. I also got a few more hours of sleep during my shift, so it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. I am aware that I have a very good sleeper and that not everyone's case is the same. Good luck to you! First weeks are hard but hopefully it gets better quickly.

 

[liz2008]

@perfectlove25 What worked for us for the first 4 weeks to allow each parent to get a "long" stretch plus a shorter nap overnight:

1) Guest bed cot set up in the nursery, where the bassinet, changing table, and rocking chair are. The person "on duty" slept in there with the baby and the other slept in our bedroom to get some sounder sleep. Yes, this means we constantly switch back and forth and haven't slept in the same room in weeks.

2) Put pump and cooler bag with ice packs in it, plus an empty container, wherever Mom was. Left a clean, baby stuff only plastic basin in the bathroom with a small bottle of dish soap.

3) Woke baby every 3 hours from the beginning of the last feed, and had permission to do one 4 hour stretch from Lactation Consultant

Times are rough but illustrate a typical night. Full baby care each shift usually takes about 45 min, sometimes up to an hour depending on how long baby nurses, how many diapers changes, and how long takes to settle. Also, mind you that our baby would almost always sleep until we woke her so we went the full 3-4 hours (FYI windows were every 2-3 during daytime).

9pm: This shift is together - Mom nurses, Dad does diapers and puts down. Then, Dad sleeps in nursery with baby, Mom goes to sleep in bedroom.

1am: Dad wakes and does full baby care (diaper, feeds a bottle, puts down). Meanwhile Mom wakes in bedroom and pumps, stores milk in cooler bag, dumps pump parts into basin of hot soapy water, goes back to sleep in bedroom. All takes 20 min and kept it quick/dark/sleepy (this is Mom's "long" stretch = two 3 hour chunks with this brief pump interruption, annoying truth as the lactating parent is you won't sleep more than 3 hours at a time for a while).

4am: Wake together - Mom nurses, Dad diapers. Then switch rooms, Dad goes to sleep in bedroom, Mom puts down and sleeps in nursery.

7am: Dad keeps sleeping in bedroom (so this is his long stretch, ideally gets a ~5.5 hour chunk) Mom does whole shift on own, goes back to sleep in nursery.

10am: Everybody up!