How do night shifts work with a newborn?

[stumpy82]

@trustinghimeverymoment Pumped milk is good for 6hrs on room temperature

 

[fizzygiraffe]

@perfectlove25 At the beginning I felt things sort of blended together and we were awake at the same time as it was all new and exciting. Once our son was over a month old we started with the shifts. I was pumping so I still have to get up, but sometimes I could time it so I pumped before I went to sleep at 9pm and then not again until after 2-ish. Then anything after 2 I would do. It worked really well, and both of us got some sleep. Even if I did end up waking up if he got up, it was nice to stay in bed knowing I didn’t have to do anything! Good luck

 

[perfectlove25]

@fizzygiraffe This is kind of exactly what I was hoping to do! Did you have any supply issues or was it fine since you waited a month to start taking shifts?

 

[fizzygiraffe]

@perfectlove25 I never produced much to be fair, and struggled with latching from the start so we did a mix of breast milk and formula from the beginning. Then around the three month mark I stopped pumping altogether, just wasn’t worth getting up in the middle of the night when everyone else were sleeping!

 

[emtbag]

@perfectlove25 Just commenting so I can come back. I didn’t do night shifts with my first but will be trying to with our second. My first baby didn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time and then would be up crying for an hour and a half before sleeping again, so hypothetically if my partner had been helping me through that then there would be no sleeping on shift. I started playing a mobile game on my phone to help myself stay awake and keep the light/sound off to not disturb baby.

I plan on sleeping during my shifts if I can but my husband plans on staying up for his. He can sleep through our toddler crying out for mom even if he’s in the same bed as her. And then when he does wake up I swear he takes a solid 3 minutes to actually get to her. Which for me is torture. Like how hard is it to get up and go? Where as if I’m in the house it doesn’t matter I’m awake in an instant. So when it’s his “turn” his patience for crying is soooo much higher than mine. So he’s now up and grumpy and I’m also awake and grumpy as I can’t sleep.

 

[maesherena]

@perfectlove25 You will find what works best for you after the first few weeks. We tried to come up with a plan too but all that went out the window when baby was born. I combo fed and was also an overproducer so I was able to go longer stretches overnight without pumping, however I would wake up very uncomfortable and soaked in milk when I did that. What worked best for us was husband would watch baby from 7pm-2am and I would watch from 2am-9am. During our shifts we would try to sleep if we could but baby really only slept when held so that made it tough. After 2 months we transitioned baby to his own room and took turns waking up with him and found that worked so much better for us.

 

[rick1087]

@perfectlove25 I wouldn’t do shifts where one person stays awake unless you actually need to. If the baby is content to sleep in a crib or bassinet, that’s ideal. You can have one person “on call” but sleeping unless the baby wakes.
If you are trying to breastfeed you’ll need to wake every 2-3 hours to feed the baby or pump for the first few weeks. Otherwise you may have supply issues (not to mention painful engorgement and clogged ducts). It sucks but it’s manageable, especially if it’s temporary. My baby is a terrible sleeper and a bottle refuser so now that she’s doing 2-3 hour stretches at 9 months I actually feel pretty well rested lol!
If you do need to stay awake at night I found scrolling my phone or watching tv both worked well. The bright light from the screens kept me up but my baby was never bothered. After the newborn phase ended she became pretty sensitive to noise though. So we have our AirPods connected to the tv so she can sleep in silence.

 

[fawnmeadow]

@perfectlove25 I think that is reasonable! You will still have to pump to replace his feeds in that time, but I’ve always heard you can do that pump any time throughout the day as long as the gap between any two pumps isn’t too long. You will probably be fine to sleep those 5 hours. I would definitely pump to empty right before you sleep and then when you wake up. My LO sleeps long stretches at night now so I will nurse him before bed/in the morning and then pump after his belly is full. It will also depend on your breast capacity. Mine can hold 4 ounces each comfortably and a little over 5 if totally full (you don’t wanna let them get that full), so I can go several hours without emptying. If your breasts hold less/fill up faster, you may have to pump more often.

You can also sleep when baby sleeps! The benefit in taking shifts is that both people get a chunk of uninterrupted sleep, but you can still get chunks of sleep or naps while baby sleeps even if it is your turn! They sleep a lot in the beginning, so take advantage of this! They also sleep super easily and basically anywhere for those first few weeks, so if you are staying awake or are wanting to do something during feedings, no need to keep it dark! I think I slept with the TV on for those first couple weeks cause I was up so often anyway lol. Didn’t bother him one bit. I did keep the light off and the tv on the low side though.

I recommend getting some earplugs or sleeping somewhere where you will not be able to hear baby at all. My husband doesn’t take shifts anymore because even if I barely hear the baby awake in the other room, I am up and can not go back to sleep until he does. So it kind of defeats the purpose lol, but I don’t mind to do the full night shift since he is sleeping so well (1 maybe 2 wake-up’s at night). If that changes, in definitely getting some earplugs and having my husband take a shift though lol

 

[fawnmeadow]

I will say that the first couple weeks we didn’t do shifts. I also had a c-section and it was REALLY hard for me to even get up and sit back down. Walking even a few steps was hard. And I couldn’t pick the baby up out of the bassinet and carry him at first. We both woke up each time cause my husband would get the baby, bring him to me so I could nurse, change his diaper, put him back in bassinet, etc.

 

[londonleah]

@perfectlove25 Can't speak to shifts, my husband couldn't take much more than a few days off work when ours was first born, so I didn't really pump at all. ( Check out r/breastfeeding though they're great for BF and pumping support ) When ours was like 2 months and under, she would go through nap/cuddle/eat cycles from about 6 - 11:30 when she was ready to go to bed for longer stretches for the night. Both of us would hang out on the couch taking turns being primary baby cuddler, and I played Nintendo switch while she slept in my lap.

Babies under 2 months old can and will fall asleep pretty much anytime anywhere, we took ours lots of places when she was really young because she would sleep in people's arms and the stroller so easily and we didn't have to worry about messing with her schedule. Just keep your curtains open during the day and they should have their daytime/nighttime all sorted out fairly quickly.

I don't think ours was ever awake longer than an hour at a time in the first 3 weeks.

 

[wilson98us]

@perfectlove25 The hours you listed are almost exactly what my husband and I did, just starting earlier because he had to be up for work early.

We would sleep when baby sleeps during our shift. My husband had a harder time getting baby back to sleep so he used to stay up with her and watch some tv while lulling her back to sleep, but I was always very down to business with my shifts. I think it’s more important to keep the house dark and quiet during nighttime hours, minimal lights during feeds and changes, and back to bed as quickly as you can.

As far as pumping, I’d pump during my shift but I wouldn’t while I was sleeping in my 5-hour sleeping stretch.

 

[dsypherme]

@perfectlove25 Our baby is 5 weeks old. My partner does the first shift since that's when baby tends to sleep more. I go to bed right after dinner, usually 7-8pm. During partner's shift, I breastfeed in the side lying position, so I don't need to get out of bed (or fully wake up). Partner positions the baby, burps and does the diaper change. We swap midway through the night (usually 1-3am ish) and partner gets some solid sleep with ear plugs and I take over. Sometimes I can get baby to sleep a little more and I can nap. Baby was more cooperative the first couple weeks and would sleep 1-3 hours in the bassinet. The last week or two that's dropped to 15-30 minutes. Oh well.

 

[nsparks81]

@perfectlove25 We did shifts for the first few months. Here was our schedule.

Wife would go to bed around 7:30 pm. I would put the baby to sleep in the nursery (either in my arms or in the crib) and I’d stay up in the nursery. I’d usually be on my phone or on my kindle - neither one emit much light, so the baby wasn’t disturbed. I’d handle that until about 1am. Then we would swap.

My wife sometimes would go 5 hours without pumping. Other times she may wake up halfway through to pump.

 

[reforming1969]

@perfectlove25 This sounds almost exactly like what me and my husband do, except I EP and our shifts are 9 pm to 3 am and 3 am to 9 am. Like others said, when babies are first born they don’t have a circadian rhythm. However, I noticed now at 8 weeks that baby is sleeping more in the night than the day. I keep most lights off except for night lights, and watch streaming on the iPad at a low volume, listen to podcasts, or game on the iPad or switch until baby wakes for a feed (or until he decides the bassinet just isn’t working for him anymore…)

The other important thing is that we keep bassinet/baby and off-shift parent in different rooms, so off-shift parent doesn’t wake up. FYI, even if the baby doesn’t cry, people don’t tend to warn you that newborns can be LOUD sleepers, between the grunting, snorting, and farting. I had tried to sleep when baby was able to (rarely) sleep in the bassinet, but he was so loud during his sleep that I’d be awake the whole time on high alert. (Or if he got too quiet I’d get paranoid and worry that he stopped breathing.) So I finally just committed to staying up during my shift and make myself a coffee and grab breakfast at 3 am, and try to take a nap during the day instead.

 

[ezzeking]

@perfectlove25 Best practice breastfeeding wise is to pump or nurse every time baby eats to make sure you create a demand for as much milk baby needs at the time baby needs it until supply regulates at 12 weeks.

Second best practice would be to at least pump whatever milk is used overnight during the same 24 hour period. The first few days it is unlikely you will be able to pump enough ahead to skip feeds as colostrum has smaller quantities and is tough to pump out.

My IBCLC recommended no more than four hours without milk removal overnight which is what I did but I know others have done more.

Whether you can sleep during your baby watching shift depends on your baby. If you can get baby to sleep in the bassinet then you can sleep while they sleep. Some babies will demand to be held constantly early on. So it depends what you get personality wise to some extent.

 

[smilhousj]

@perfectlove25 It’s not shifts but it’s what worked for us when he was a newborn. I woke up to breastfeed, then I would wake up my husband after I finished to burp him, change his diaper, and put him back down. I think it’s the best way to do it for breastfeeding because I can’t imagine splitting the work and then having to wake up to pump anyways. I always side lay nursing and it helps me feel more rested throughout the long nursing sessions early on.

 

[bronsontaur]

@perfectlove25 It's kind of a blur but if I remember correctly we started shifts like two days after we got home. My milk wasn't in yet anyway so I was pumping and supplementing with formula because I couldn't get him to latch for like the first week. I think I went like a 3 or 4 hour stretch between feeding him while my husband stayed awake and offset it by pumping right before I went to sleep, feeding normally once my husband's shift was over, and pumping after our first feed of the morning when my milk production was high.

It's really kind of a tradeoff. Pumping kind of sucks but if you're willing to do it you can have a stretch where you're totally off duty, which to me is worth it. It took a few weeks and I did have to step in sometimes but he can soothe my son on his own now, which you'll see from parenting subs is an issue if mom does everything. It's also nice that there's a steady supply of milk in the fridge so that when I want to go to an appointment or run errands, my husband is totally fine. But some people just want their spouse to wake them up with the baby and that's fine too - we've done it both ways when I wanted to "build my supply" or because my son was super upset and needed that comfort to sleep but he's an inefficient nurser so ultimately pumping has been better to keep my supply up

 

[jluponeage]

@perfectlove25 I breastfed (with supplementing for a little while) so it was a little different from if you’re formula feeding, but our routine was:

9-3 was my shift, 3-9 was my husband’s.

Whoever was on shift would sleep when they could and just get up with the baby when he woke up. If it was me, I’d breastfeed then top off with formula then change his diaper then rock/nurse him back to sleep and put him down and go back to sleep myself. If it was my husband, he’d bring him to me, I’d breastfeed then he’d take him away and change his diaper then top him off with formula/rock him to sleep so I could breastfeed but not have to leave the bed at least.

For the first 2-3 weeks, whoever was on shift would sleep on the couch with him in a bassinet in the living room because he didn’t love sleeping independently at night and that way the off shift parent could sleep without any disruptions. Once he got decent at sleeping in the bassinet, we brought him to our room and we all slept in the same room, but the same rules applied. Additionally, whoever was on shift would take him to the nursery for the diaper and rocking so that the other parent could stay in a dark room and get better sleep.

Eventually, my supply was good enough and LO slept well enough that I’d pump one bottle each morning for my husband to give overnight so I could sleep through an entire feeding, and that was wonderful.

 

[turgut]

@perfectlove25 I’m LO is 8 weeks so this is all pretty fresh. It’s definitely possible to get five hours of sleep without having to pump! I would do a big pump before you go to bed to make sure your empty as possible and pump anytime little one gets a bottle. I didn’t have any supply issues while doing this.

My husband would take 10 PM to 3 AM then I would get up to relieve him. My husband would game or watch movies during his shift and then sleep. I would always try to get sleep in between wakings during my shift. Babies that little don’t have a circadian rhythm so you can definitely watch Netflix or whatever while he’s sleeping in the same room. Just keep it as dark and quiet as possible while doing so.

 

[perfectlove25]

@turgut That’s awesome, yeah my hope was to at least get one 4-5hr stretch of sleep without it affecting my supply as long as i pump or feed right beforehand! So glad to hear it worked for you.