@kaleidoscopeheart Hello, Im a logical person. Maybe I can help.
Problem...
I dont think you are cranky, you are overwhelmed and do not have sufficient support. Even your own partner isnt being supportive and instead supports the idea you are cranky. Now how is that helpful?
If you put any other animal or human in your situation, would they struggle? Potentially yes. Its overwhelming.
Solution...
Sit down with partner or someone you trust and be honest. Cry if you need too. Release the emotions and talk through the stressors. When 'X' happens it makes me feel like 'Y'. When 'A' happens it makes me feel like 'B'. Etc etc. Do this for an hour. Block the time out on a daily basis. Flush all the crap out verbally then go work out. I assure you, you will feel better.
I did this when all my family turned their back on us due to their mental issues. I didnt have any viable support.
Your partner needs to understand this important. These signs of 'crankiness' will lead to something much worse if you both dont talk it through. These are very valid feelings humans feel but are not being discussed. They need to be talked about.