How Do I Stop Being a Cranky B*tch

[currycoma]

@kaleidoscopeheart Zoloft.

 

[ptl2010christianblessings]

@kaleidoscopeheart Are you able to hire help in any area? Or, can you take a solo day off to recharge? Are you getting enough rest?

 

[isaiah615]

@kaleidoscopeheart Don't hold yourself to such a high requirement...parenting is rough even in the best of times. If at all possible...both you and your husband need to utilize as much vacation and sick time as possible, preferably on an alternating schedule, in order to give the other parent a day off to work in solitude, get caught up on something, or to just for alone time. Find alternative day-care/baby-sitter options. As for you and your husband...find ways, no matter how small, to give each other a break and try to remember you were a 'couple' before you were a family. Above all else...prioritize your own mental well-being and remember, you're the only person keeping score.

 

[dizzeh07]

@kaleidoscopeheart have you tried smoking a joint?

 

[kaleidoscopeheart]

@dizzeh07 Hahahaha good call- I don’t live in a rec state unfortunately

 

[dizzeh07]

@kaleidoscopeheart If you live in medical state I heard your back hurts and/or you could use an eating stimulus.

 

[robrog8999]

@kaleidoscopeheart I wonder how much “fun” your husband would be if he was doing everything that you were doing. I say take a week off and let him live your life for a week.

 

[lisboneu]

@kaleidoscopeheart There’s nothing wrong with you. Sounds like your husband doesn’t seem to understand how much strain you are under. I know you say he pulls his weight but his comments suggest otherwise. He should be trying to help you feel better, not complaining that you’re no fun, sensitive, tired etc. that’s not helpful. If he’s not part of the solution, he’s part of the problem.

 

[manogod]

@kaleidoscopeheart You are being the best mom you can be and nothing else. F people, yes your husband included, who call you no fun. If he has issues with his then he should be pitching in more or taking his over caring for kids more so you can have time to be your own self. Talk to your husband about what you can offload.

 

[drowningspace]

@kaleidoscopeheart Some people consider this a fair price to pay for being a working class aren’t, some don’t. It depends on you.

 

[paddy999]

@kaleidoscopeheart I mean I had a 2yo and an 8 month old home while working for 9 weeks during the early pandemic and I don’t think I laughed once that whole time I was the definition of a cranky bitch. It’s impossible.

 

[paulhb]

@kaleidoscopeheart I am also as you say a “cranky b*tch” and I have a therapist I see via zoom. It was important to me that my therapist is also a mom. I’m more aware of my “bad behaviors” or bad thoughts and recognize why they are happening (mostly due to the lack of sleep & pain I’m experiencing).

I’m trying to be a mindful mom and nice to my husband, but I’m also aware that everyone (10 mo, 2 yo, & 5 yo) needs me all the time now but it’ll get easier.

Good luck mama and be gentle with yourself. We’re in the trenches!

 

[kmassi]

@kaleidoscopeheart I’ve also changed tremendously since having kids. My kids are now 3 and 5, and I feel myself getting back into enjoying things, not being cranky all the time, etc.

My partner has been really awesome and, although the occasional complaint (especially about my constant complaining!!!), has told me over and over that this is a really hard time and I’m doing a LOT and it’s exhausting. I hope your awesome husband also understands and cuts you slack. You’re trying your best, and it does get better/easier/less physically demanding!

 

[charize]

@kaleidoscopeheart I feel for you, mama. I felt this way when my kids were that age. For me, I talked to a doctor and got a low dose of an anti-depressant. I stayed on it for two years, and now that my kids are older I weaned off and don’t rely on medicine. It’s a really helpful tool for when you’re struggling and there really aren’t many solutions. I see people have mentioned finding good childcare, which we all know is so so difficult. Do you have a community of friends that can help lift you and your family up during this tough time? It really does get easier as they get older.

 

[thebibleguy]

@kaleidoscopeheart This makes me glad I chose not to have children. Just reading this exhausted me. I feel for you! You definitely need a break and a re-charge. Get some alone time. Tell your hubby you need it, maybe see if parents can watch them for a night. Or weekend. Do what you need to do, you’re no good to anyone, including yourself, when you aren’t getting the time you need to yourself.

 

[katrina2017]

@kaleidoscopeheart I think you'd like the podcast #57 by Ramit of I will teach you to be rich. Not exactly the same situation but it helps to know there might be solutions that you havent thought of

 

[candicejoy218]

@kaleidoscopeheart Are you me?? I feel so cranky and crazy at times- and I will be honest it stems from inconsistent childcare! 5 year old and almost 2 year old here, we have no day cares in our area that are close enough with me working from home, and the closest to my husbands work was 1500 per child a month. (Lol)
We have been through 4 or 5 different sitters, and they keep falling through. Our last one was working out so well and then she got accepted into a trade school and unfortunately I didn't realize she was possibly going to school so I was blindsided. (Proud of her though- she's been so great)
I am so drained by the end of the day, even when the kids were at the sitters, because I am the one shuffling them around. All I would want to do was clean up,catch up, anything- and I just freeze. Burnout is real.

No advice, just solidarity.
I will say, I've started advocating for myself when discussing things with my husband and just being straightforward instead of trying to take on what I think I should be able to do. He got off work early the other day and I had only sent one kiddo to the sitter because our other wasn't feeling good, so he picks up the one and tries to leave to get a hair cut while I'm still working (now with both kids home) and instead of getting mad, I just repeated his plan back to him and told him he could do what he wants but to please consider how his actions would impact my productivity and overall mood- he ended up staying home lol