How do I get my parents to stop being so strict about my screen time, and is this normal?

[shaggster]

So I am almost in high school now, and I still feel that my parents are being extremely controlling over any use of technology (even if I earned and payed for it myself). I probably should also mention that my left eye has a very light case of myopia, or nearsightedness at -0.75 (this was kinda nerdy). My parents, on the other hand, have myopia prescriptions of -11.00 and -3.50, and they are supposedly "trying to stop me from getting worse". I have never given them a major reason to not trust me, besides going on youtube at the start of the pandemic (that was 4 years ago now btw). Here is my current set of rules: 30 min computer use a day, 30 min of youtube/anime per day but no shorts, tiktoks, etc. along with wifi cutoff at 8:30pm. I feel like they always have their claws in my back, listening to my keyboard to tell what I'm doing, demanding an admin account on every piece of tech I have, and setting up all the "family safety" stuff like Apple and Google Family. So my question is, is this normal? And how do I get them to loosen up? Thanks in advance

EDIT: I have no phone, only a PC and a Macbook, if you need more context please tell me!

Also I will be checking this post mostly everyday for 2 weeks or so

 

[nanasei]

@shaggster As someone who grew up in a time where parents didn't know the dangers of the internet and excessive screen time, they are doing you a favor.

 

[hootja]

@nanasei Bingo!

 

[t2therent]

@shaggster Hey kid ... If your parents are young Gen X or elder millennials, that means they grew up with the internet and are very aware of the potential harm that can come from it. They love you. This is good for you, especially at your age. I'm sure they'll loosen up once you can demonstrate that you don't want to be glued to a screen all the time.

 

[swill]

@shaggster A hour limit a day is good for you.

 

[chris59]

@shaggster Sounds pretty standard foe your age and out there.

 

[threeblueeyedgirls]

@shaggster An hour a day for an 8th grader is reasonable. It's reasonable for everyone, honestly, unless someone works on the internet.

 

[shaggster]

@threeblueeyedgirls I do buy PC parts, build them, and sell them, so this is a bit annoying overall mostly because when I'm talking with a customer and I disappear suddenly, there goes my chance to sell

 

[xitosunwin]

@shaggster Tell them what you just told us.

 

[threeblueeyedgirls]

@shaggster Okay, that's added info. that changes things a bit. I'd discuss that with your parents and RESPECTFULLY see if you can check in a few times throughout the night for the sake of your business.

As a parent, I'd be open to a 5-10 minute check in 2-3 times a night if I knew my child was doing it for something like that. But never use that time to mess around, earn their trust. And don't try to do it past 8:30. There's nothing wrong with a business having a cut off time.

 

[firebug71]

@shaggster If I were a parent and you explained this to me, I'd gladly make an exception. This is demonstrating responsible usage and more than anything that's what I want my children to learn. Internet isn't bad, but it's hard to consume in a healthy way and easy to consume in an unhealthy (life-debilitating) way.

I don't know how hard-line your parents are about it but if I were them I'd make an exception for this and then monitor you enough to know that you're using the time the way you say you would.

 

[cechristian]

@shaggster This sounds a little unrealistically overprotective- but not the worst thing in the world. Social media can be very, very damaging.

Maybe you can argue for a gradual increase on the grounds that you will need to be prepared for how the real world and your peers use technology before you go to collage.

 

[ukuwiwev]

@shaggster They are just trying to protect u. As someone who wasn’t given much freedom and super controlled by parents when I was younger I totally understand your pain tho! I believe in freedom with boundaries. The less screen time u have the better it is for not just ur eyes but ur childhood memories. Looking back u won’t remember computer time but u will remember time with friends and family. Or practicing a hobby. Studies show all the screen time and social media has a huge lifetime negative effect on kids. It’s good no computer before bed bc it can disrupt your sleep. I think one hour tops for computer time is reasonable for high schoolers. 30 min for middle school. More if you need the internet for school/research for homework. Screen time can be addictive too. I hope they have safe filters on but bc ur not Reddit im guessing not. Remember that u can’t unsee things and there’s so many dangerous things and people on the internet. Protect yourself please!

 

[ositez]

@shaggster If you were in high school, I would say that is too strict. However, you're not, and we know how bad social media can be for the developing mind and how addictive it can be.

 

[china1986]

@shaggster I agree with the majority of the comments already posted

However, perhaps you can ask your parents to re-evaluate your screen use and see if you can make any compromises. For instance, if you are wanting to game on the PC, perhaps ask if you can forgo half hour of you tube and use that 30 min playing on your PC.

If you engage in this, you have to be level headed and give your parents time and space to discuss it

 

[firebug71]

@shaggster I'm a career software engineer. U had a computer in the 80s when I was 5. I've been chronically online since I was a young teen.

Your parents are doing the right thing. If it's not normal, it should be. As long as they're transparent and not spying on you, be grateful.

 

[logann]

@shaggster Your parents are looking out for you. A good parent is supposed to monitor internet use and limit it. I'm old enough to know how easy it is for pedophiles & controlling abusive men to find young women. Research shows that anxiety and depression goes up in kids with social media use.

 

[katrina2017]

@shaggster I wish someone would limit my internet like that lol.

You are being well cared for and protected by your parents. You don’t understand it now, but you will in the future. They are doing well. Take it easy on them.

 

[ammyrodrics]

@shaggster You just have to earn their trust, and they will leave you allone.
You did something that made them worry and it is hard to explain to you at this age.... that's it.

 

[catholicmother]

@shaggster I wish I had been this way with my 14 year old from the beginning. She has no self-control and is very influenced by micro trends and has poor ideas about herself and others due to the content she consumes online. Your parents sound great honestly. Don’t forget that you won’t be a kid for long. Before you know it you will wish you had their guidance.