How did you start letting your kid sleep in a separate room?

[calebtheclown]

Hello! Sleep deprived mom here

My little one is almost 9 months, but he’s waking up at least 3-4 times a night every since the 4 month sleep regression. Sleepless nights are really taking a toll on me and my husband, we really need to sleep at this point.

We thought of maybe starting to sleep in a different room, so I’m wondering about your experiences, since I am extremely anxious about it.

P.S. LO is sleep trained to fall asleep on his own in the evening, but he still wakes up and cries in a middle of the night.

UPDATE NIGHT 1: It was hell He woke up 4 times and would usually fall asleep after 5-ish minutes. Except 1 time but that was totally my fault (I spilled water on his PJs so we needed to change him ). We didn’t let him cry for more than 5 minutes for start.
Anyways, 2 great things happened: he drank a lot less milk than usual and during one wake up, he snuggled back to the laying position on his own, so there is some hope.

 

[thejollygreengiant]

@calebtheclown Like 3ish months. We couldn’t listen to his sleep grunting any more. Best decision we ever made. We all slept much better from that point on.

 

[crumpettaser]

@calebtheclown My son is 8 and still sleeps with me but we just left an abusivive situation and it’s super hard being in a strange house and everything that happened. He will eventually hopefully start being more sure in his surroundings. He slept so good by himself even in a toddler bed but it got super scary and I was scared something may happen in the night . He only hurt me but I didn’t trust that son of a bitch. So I started locking us in his room and sleeping on the floor beside him and he hasn’t left my side since. He is having his first friend come now that I don’t worry about bringing someone else’s child into danger and I’m putting him a room together so he can have his own space. I always think about how good he did and I blame myself for not leaving sooner.I was scared and had no where to turn. I definitely don’t have all the answers but for now we have a nice safe place.

 

[calebtheclown]

@crumpettaser Wow. That is some scary stuff. Good for you and I’m glad you managed to escape. Only good things from now on!

 

[tony_tony5054]

@calebtheclown We put our baby in to her own room at 5 months. It wasn't totally planned but I do think it worked out for the better. She still wakes up about 2 - 3 times a night but now we can chat and watch TV without worry and our baby is in a much more comfortable room (dad keeps our room freezing) and isn't woken up by Dad's snoring.

 

[calebtheclown]

@tony_tony5054 Hahaha I love it. In our case he won’t be waken up by mom’s snoring

 

[kansasgirl]

@calebtheclown I think after 6M it’s not a big deal! I think it sounds like it would be a positive for you. Baby is 4M here and since he’s rolling I have to move him to the crib. I plan to sleep in there with him until 6M and then see how it goes. What makes you anxious? You can get a good video monitor or owlet or other tools to help you in the transition as well …for me I also checked the SIDS risk calculator and that helped spell it out for me that it’s not as scary after 6M if you’ve got a safe sleep setup.

 

[calebtheclown]

@kansasgirl Knowing that he’s crying and I’m not doing anything to help makes me anxious. I know it’s the best for him too, but it’s so hard listening to his cry.

 

[kansasgirl]

@calebtheclown You don’t have to leave him! Of course you can go in if he’s crying

 

[trinichristiannudist]

@calebtheclown Why would you have to listen to him cry just because he's in a different room? Sleep training and sleeping in different rooms are two separate things and you can definitely do one without the other. I was pretty much as responsive to my baby when she was in her own room as when she was in my room. It may have taken about 30 seconds longer to get to her and possibly a little longer for me to wake up, but it was pretty close.

And when we did sleep train, it was only a couple of nights of listening to the crying. After she learned to self soothe back to sleep on her own, then i started going in right away when she cried because I knew she truly needed me.

 

[niko]

@calebtheclown I did it at 2 weeks. My newborn made so many grunts and random cries that I couldn’t get any sleep. We don’t use a monitor (her room is next to ours) and she’s 2.5 now and sleeps like a dream. I thoroughly recommend it!!

 

[calebtheclown]

@niko Great job!! I regret not doing it sooner, it would be way easier.

 

[niko]

@calebtheclown 100% we are about to have our second and they’ll be in their own room and in a cot from day one. Babies like to be warm when they sleep (we always aim for 22-23 degrees at cot mattress level) but my partner and I like to be much cooler (as we have like a 15 tog duvet and each others body heat) - I don’t know how people manage to room share and get their babies sleeping 12 hours straight!

 

[jwofford85]

@niko Same with my youngest! My older two kids were a bit older, around 2-3 months. I moved them when they were only waking once to eat after I went to bed. But our youngest was very loud when she slept. My husband went back to work and was having trouble sleeping and I couldn’t sleep well either. We also didn’t use a monitor at night as her room was close enough that I could hear her if she woke up. She is 14 now and still a loud sleeper

 

[asyncritus2]

@calebtheclown Once they slept in different room and didn't need any night feedings anymore, I would go to their room when they cried and comforted them without picking them up if possible. I would sit next to their crib, put my hand on their tummy or back, and make sushing noises or sing. The first few timess I would stay until they were asleep again and then gradually try to leave once they settled down.

If they would cry hysterically, I would pick them up and hold them until they calmed down and then put them back in their bed.

Rinse and repeat for however long it took since I was not capable of letting my kids cry it out, even for a short amount of time.
If you do it this way, best start with moving them to their own room on a weekend or during a period where you can 'afford' to loose extra sleep, lol.

 

[calebtheclown]

@asyncritus2 Yes, the only reason we didn’t do it so far is that I cannot stand hearing him cry. Thank you for the advice, we’ll try it out.

 

[overcomer2]

@calebtheclown We moved him to his crib in his room at like 3m, he outgrew his bassinet and the crib won’t fit in our room. He (and us) has slept much better since!! I think he likes the crib mattress more too

 

[jzak]

@calebtheclown Mine moved to her own room at 6 months. She had a bad sleep regression around this time, and we had a month where we were getting up with her every 1.5-2 hrs. It was awful. We tried softer approaches to sleep training, but every time we went into her room, she would get even more worked up. With the pediatrician's advice, we decided that we were really just going to have to let her cry it out. It was about 3 nights of 45 mins to about 1.5 hrs of crying. Those nights were really hard, but it made a HUGE difference for her and our family.

Remember that sleep is a skill that babies have to learn, and sleep training can be necessary for them to learn that skill. Your baby isn't getting good sleep if they are waking up that frequently either. Telling myself that helped me get through. Mine is 14 months now, and usually sleeps through the night, with the occasional short 5 min wake-up.

 

[calebtheclown]

@jzak I’m afraid CIO is our best shot too. We’ll probably try it out today. I’ll post an update

 

[jzak]

@calebtheclown There is another subreddit I think called "sleeptrain". I got a lot of good advice and encouragement there. I also read the book "Precious Little Sleep," which was written by a mom in a really relatable way. I recommend both of those resources.