How did you know you were ready to send you kid to preschool if they didn’t HAVE to go?

[kmama]

@elinternational My son was academically advanced too. His preschool teacher helped us find a kindergarten program that would push him and be a good fit. She also worked on sharing, following directions, phonics, sight words, and tons of art.

 

[allbutnone]

@elinternational Ugh this is so hard. My girl is only 15 months but also a late September birthday… she’ll be so much older than most kids in her grade due to her fall birthday and the 09/01 cutoff in our state. We also live in a more rural area where good preschool programs are few and far between but I don’t want her to start kindergarten cold-Turkey. She’s also my one and only baby so once she’s in school, I know I’ll miss her terribly and feel that sense of sadness. With I had advice but just commiseration!

 

[bonbonmon]

@elinternational My kid was just super ready to hang out with other kids, and I loved preschool and had been wanting to send him (I had also been considering pursing a PhD but the pandemic changed some timelines). His school teaches things I wouldn’t necessarily think to teach him, and it’s also French immersion - my husband is French and so is my child, officially a dual citizen, but my French is limited and my husband has been in the US for long enough that he mostly speaks English except with other actual French people. So getting our son the language exposure was important.

His first day he marched right in, no problems. When we increased from one day a week to three after he turned 3, there were a few teary dropoffs - because he wanted us to stay and play with him, not because he wanted to leave. Now he’s 4 and we do 4 days a week and some mornings he says he doesn’t want to go, he wants to stay with me - but it’s not about school and there’s no fuss once he’s in the car. I usually don’t do drop-off but in Tuesday this week I had an early OB appointment, so I went with my husband and son and was the one to get out of the car with him. I was chatting with his teacher and he started pushing me out the door! And then this morning we were getting him ready and he started saying he was “too scared” and clinging to me - that’s not about school, that’s about his vaccination tomorrow. We get photos at the end of the month and he always looks like he is having a blast.

 

[jesusismyanchorinthestorm]

@elinternational I needed her to go. I was overwhelmed being her sole playmate all day. But I didn’t necessarily “love” being home with her all day, so that might be where we differ. I was very much ready to have a break and have time to do projects that had been piling up. It was for my own mental health as much as her development.

Now she’s 4 and loves school, loves her friends and has absolutely learned more from school than I could’ve taught her at home.

 

[naly]

@elinternational We started our then 2 year old in a half day couple days a week preschool because he was falling behind on speech development and we were having a hard time finding kids his age to have play dates with. He is super shy but took to preschool so quickly. Our preschool runs the same schedule as our county public schools so he has all summer off. He is 3 now and begs to go to school everyday.

 

[agustinus555]

@elinternational We waited until 4 to do preschool with my older kid, who was also very precocious and shy. We did a co-op that was three days a week and very play based, almost no academics at all because he really didn't need them...he was reading things like The Boxcar Children independently. It was....fine. He did have a hard time at drop off for a bit, but he had fun and liked his teachers. I liked the co-op aspect where I helped in the classroom sometimes.

That year was interrupted by Covid, and in the fall when it was time for kindergarten, I wasn't comfortable or happy with any of the options. In the end we chose to homeschool and we're still going strong! My younger kiddo is 4 now and we are not doing preschool outside the home with her.

Here's the thing, everyone talks about the social and classroom-behavior aspect of preschool, but if your kid is shy and introverted, there are plenty of ways to get them what they need for social interaction; it doesn't have to be preschool. Storytime and other programs at the library, swimming lessons, dance, martial arts, soccer, baseball, basketball, scouts, 4H, etc, are all opportunities for your kid to learn to follow directions, stand in line, be a good listener, deal with separation, etc, plus they're around other kids. Homeschooling playgroups have connected me with other families for more informal activities like playground hangouts, playdates, cook outs, etc. For our family that has been plenty.

Obviously, some kids really want a lot more social interaction than that, and then preschool is great! But if you genuinely don't feel that it's best for your kid, it isn't necessary. You'll just need to be deliberate and consistent about providing other social/classroom opportunities.