EDIT: Thanks everyone who offered constructive advice. The overwhelming response was “Therapy. ASAP.” I hear it and am on it, likely starting with CBT. I had a chat with him tonight, and thanked him for always sharing his feelings with me, even the bad ones. I asked him if he wants to start therapy. He said he didn’t know, “I don’t really know what therapy does, I just feel like I need something.” I told him I’d look into it and we can start exploring together, and he seemed so grateful to be taken seriously. If anyone has thoughts on things in addition to therapy we could implement at home to help him, I’d be grateful to hear them.
My 10yo son is constantly down on himself and on life. His life is peachy: we have a loving home, his younger sister (8) adores him despite the fact that he is often criticizing her. He has access to activities, nature, sports, enrichment. He’s not spoiled but he has access to all the things a kid could want.
Nonetheless, the glass is always half empty, and everything always “sucks”. He is down on himself in big existential ways (“why was I even born?”) and little daily ways (“I’m so stupid!” e.g. if he doesn’t understand a homework question right away, despite being on a gifted track at school.) He says he hates himself. He says he wishes he weren’t even here - as in, on the planet, as a human. I toggle between extreme worry for him and, honestly, a little anger at his ingratitude.
One example of how his mind works: after a soccer game recently his teammate said to me “we couldn’t have won without him! He helped block three goals!” I was like “way to go buddy!” And his response was “see? I told you people think I have mental issues.” What?? He took that compliment as an insincere comment from someone who thought he was a weak kid who needed to hear “fake nice things”. But I got him to he admit that he DID help block three goals. The compliment WAS sincere.
He’s told me thinks he needs therapy. I’ve brushed this off as something he’s only picked up because we live in a fancy town where kids unnecessarily do that sort of thing (please forgive the judgement, don’t mean to offend). Do 10year olds really need therapy? I’ve started having him keep a gratitude journal so he can write down one thing every day that was good. What else could I be doing?
He has said things before like “I wish I could just die.” He says he prefers being asleep to being awake, he’d rather just live in a dream. He says he doesn’t see the point of the universe or his place in it. I feel scared for what he might do and also helpless.
His teachers love him. He doesn’t show this gloomy side at school. He has moments of fun with friends and with his sister. But he’ll often come back to me afterwards as if he’s dropping the act and go back to wallowing in his angst. I sometimes think I’m the only person who sees it. Even my husband only catches glimpses of it.
Anyone advice from parents or kids who’ve been through similar? Might he grow out of it?
My 10yo son is constantly down on himself and on life. His life is peachy: we have a loving home, his younger sister (8) adores him despite the fact that he is often criticizing her. He has access to activities, nature, sports, enrichment. He’s not spoiled but he has access to all the things a kid could want.
Nonetheless, the glass is always half empty, and everything always “sucks”. He is down on himself in big existential ways (“why was I even born?”) and little daily ways (“I’m so stupid!” e.g. if he doesn’t understand a homework question right away, despite being on a gifted track at school.) He says he hates himself. He says he wishes he weren’t even here - as in, on the planet, as a human. I toggle between extreme worry for him and, honestly, a little anger at his ingratitude.
One example of how his mind works: after a soccer game recently his teammate said to me “we couldn’t have won without him! He helped block three goals!” I was like “way to go buddy!” And his response was “see? I told you people think I have mental issues.” What?? He took that compliment as an insincere comment from someone who thought he was a weak kid who needed to hear “fake nice things”. But I got him to he admit that he DID help block three goals. The compliment WAS sincere.
He’s told me thinks he needs therapy. I’ve brushed this off as something he’s only picked up because we live in a fancy town where kids unnecessarily do that sort of thing (please forgive the judgement, don’t mean to offend). Do 10year olds really need therapy? I’ve started having him keep a gratitude journal so he can write down one thing every day that was good. What else could I be doing?
He has said things before like “I wish I could just die.” He says he prefers being asleep to being awake, he’d rather just live in a dream. He says he doesn’t see the point of the universe or his place in it. I feel scared for what he might do and also helpless.
His teachers love him. He doesn’t show this gloomy side at school. He has moments of fun with friends and with his sister. But he’ll often come back to me afterwards as if he’s dropping the act and go back to wallowing in his angst. I sometimes think I’m the only person who sees it. Even my husband only catches glimpses of it.
Anyone advice from parents or kids who’ve been through similar? Might he grow out of it?