Help! I'm stressing my wife out

[tacdon]

@smwatoa Cute kid. Stop worrying about breast feeding. It’s not helping anyone.

 

[pegassus]

@smwatoa NHS needs to get the breastfeeding gestapo under control. Do it if you can. Use formula if you can’t. Use a combination of both if that suits. If the NHS spent half as much time supporting new parents attempting to breastfeed as they do ramming the message down everyone’s throats then things would be far better. My daughter ended up back in hospital at 1 week old because my wife didn’t want to be seen as a ‘failure’ by offering formula. Made me so angry.

 

[grademacher]

@smwatoa My partner had a good latch and production at birth. However, the benefits including but not limited to increased sleep and less stress due to be able to grab a bottle of formula and let mom rest more than two hours are immense and in our experience outweighed any exclusive breastfeeding benefits. Our baby also ate A LOT and is still 95% on height and weight at 16 months, so formula supplementing gave her the inhuman amount of milk she requires lol

 

[brighteyes57]

@smwatoa Breast is best by fed is far more important than anything else.

 

[eduardo1979]

@smwatoa Breast is better than formula but fed is better than starved. If you're doing combo feeding they're still getting all the benefits of breast milk while also getting the amount they require from the formula top up.

 

[smwatoa]

@eduardo1979 That is a good perspective. Thank you!

 

[barbbfly]

@smwatoa My little man (7 months now) has been on supplemented breast milk since a surgery 2 days after he was born and he’s a perfectly healthy little boy.

 

[smwatoa]

@barbbfly Thank you for the reassurance!

 

[shaggyman]

@smwatoa First of all congratulations to you and your wife! Don't worry about the breastfeeding thing man. My son is 3 years old, was mostly bottle fed after 5 months because she had no milk and is as healthy and strong as can be. I am on your wife's side all day long on this one

 

[smwatoa]

@shaggyman Thank you! I appreciate your anecdote, and it does make me feel better. I hope that it is not coming across as if I am not on my wifes side in this situation. We both agree that it is the two of us vs this situation. I just wanted to get feedback from this community!

 

[shrinker]

@smwatoa It’s been four days. It takes time for milk to come in. It takes time for babies to learn to latch properly. Supplement for now and you probably won’t have to in a week or so. But if you do, you do. What matters is feeding your baby. Feed the baby.

 

[mackeyjaime]

@smwatoa My wife went very much went through the "I must, but I can't" cycle as well. You're also in the first week, you're probably not sleeping and it's all incredibly new and stressful.

You've got to to #1, give your wife a break and #2, give yourself a break. There's a lot going on with breastfeeding that she and you can't control. There is real pressure that to be a "good" parent (and especially a "good" mom) that you must breastfeed. Sometimes mom's body, or the baby, or time, or work schedules, or stress, etc., doesn't line up for many reasons that are **not her fault**, and she feels terribly ashamed of it anyway.

Just get the baby fed. You ARE NOT going to ruin or disadvantage your child by giving them some formula, but you might if they don't get enough nutrition. Breast feeding doesn't have to be all or nothing. Mom doesn't have to stop trying and it's possible over time you can reduce or eliminate the need for formula. If in doubt, see a lactation consultant.

 

[katrina2017]

@smwatoa Get your (beautiful) baby on formula for the time being and mum can keep expressing colostrum (syringe and feed to baby, or refrigerate for a few days, or freeze for up to 6 months). She will need to keep expressing to get her supply up, and it will be hard to get the balance right, but it’s not impossible.

Baby might prefer formula but there’s no harm in trying both.

It’s not meant to be easy! Good luck to you both!

 

[katrina2017]

@smwatoa Son was born 4 weeks early and would not latch. We supplemented with formula for 4 weeks and then he breastfed until he was done.

My daughter was born at full term. For the first 4 weeks she fell asleep while breastfeeding. So, we supplemented with formula.

From what I’ve read and heard, probably 80% of women have trouble breastfeeding.

My advice is turn down the personal angst. If you can afford it have your wife meet weekly with a lactation consultant. Understand your kid will be fine. After a few weeks child will probably be 100% breastfeeding. Get some sleep and do some housework.

 

[lilpumpkin06]

@smwatoa We mixed fed both our kids and it's fine. A baby that is full and happy with a tummy of milk is the only thing that is important.

Mix feed with formula top ups to breast milk. It also means that you get a chance to feed your baby and bond, whilst giving your wife a break.

 

[heathjones]

@smwatoa Beautiful baby!

Pump

 

[rrcoffin]

@smwatoa I get it. You’re a new dad and she is 100% of your world right now. You want the ABSOLUTE best for her. Your opinion of what’s best isn’t an option, so you go to the next best thing. Thank God for formula, otherwise this baby wouldn’t be able to eat ANYTHING. Count your blessings, head to Costco , and stock up on formula.

 

[papilindo]

@smwatoa My 8yo son was exclusively formula fed from 2 weeks on. It’s more important to keep that baby fed, healthy and growing.

My son has been healthy as a horse, aside from the normal crap they bring home from school.

YOU need to stop stressing out and start thinking about raising a healthy child.

 

[thespeedboy]

@smwatoa Same thing happened to my wife for our third baby. The baby was nursing normally within two weeks. Don't sweat it, brother.

Congratulations!

 

[hgriff91]

@smwatoa So we were in a similar boat as your nearly exactly 2 years ago. Everything that we read and were preached to by the hospital is that "breastmilk is best for baby's development"

We ( I) really wanted our son to be breastfed. But when he wouldn't latch and he came home jaundiced, lost more than 10% of his birth weight. When we took him to the pediatrician after a sleepless night because he wouldn't eat, He told us that our son was hungry and handed us a can of formula. I felt like a failure not because he wasn't getting breast milk but because I didn't see the signs of his distress. Our pediatrician was moments away from admitting him to the hospital. But decided to have us try formula.
When we got him home he sucked down that bottle like he was a frat boy at a tailgate party... And he slept immediately. He had been awake for close to 12 hours absolutely starving.

Within hours his color got better, he had normal bms and pees.

Long story short, feed your baby it doesn't matter where the nutrition comes from as long as he is eating. You aren't a failure because it isn't breast milk.