Help! I'm stressing my wife out

[katrina2017]

@smwatoa Get the formula. Doing a mix is better than your child being malnourished.

 

[smwatoa]

@katrina2017 We have been doing formula after breastfeeding every time. I'm not saying I am against it, but it makes me feel a tinge of guilt every time I get the formula.

 

[janjan]

@smwatoa

but it makes me feel a tinge of guilt every time I get the formula

Don't. Real guilt is not feeding your daughter when she's hungry because of misleading/unhelpful views on breastfeeding. We fell into the same "ONLY THE BREAST FOR OUR BABY" trap while in the hospital, and couldn't understand why he was inconsolable for the first night or two.

Our newborn photographer told us to demand formula supplements from the nurses, and after the first bottle it was like a switch flipped in him - the screaming stopped, he slept great, and was generally a much happier baby. (The nurses never offered formula and only pushed my wife for breastmilk.)

There is no perfect way to raise a child. Do what's best for her, not for you (or others).

 

[katrina2017]

@smwatoa Another thing is that if you’re putting pressure on your wife about breastfeeding that will make it much more hard to perform. Anxiety fucks up milk production.

 

[krower]

@smwatoa The other option is your baby and maybe your wife crying because your little girl is hungry even after breastfeeding all day.

I went through this with our little girl who is now almost two. We supplemented and looking back I wished I had supplemented sooner in the day and more often. Eventually, after 8 weeks, she was just on breastmilk because I feed her and pumped every time we supplemented. Kind of wished I didn’t because I was so tired from waking up all the time to breastfeed and then pump. Not good for mental health, and when I would get a little more sleep I felt like a different person. Wished I had breastfeed and then supplement without waiting at the end of the day.

You are just at the start and it can be so hard to let it go when “breast is best” and “you will have enough for your baby” and formula framed as such a last resort. It is so so hard for parents to square this with wanting the best for their baby and little sleep and figuring out being a Dad and Mom. Right now supplementing with formula is best for your baby and your family.

To help with production:
-sleep
-hydration
-food
-love

For Mom to feed baby, you need to take care of them both.

Also any amount can help and you can’t tell which adults didn’t have any.

 

[mh1]

@smwatoa If it wasn't for formula my kids would be dead my wife's breast milk wasn't enough. There no such thing as best it's just necessary

 

[kangarool]

@smwatoa Same thing with our kiddo, wife didn't produce enough early enough because he was jaundice and needed more than average. We supplemented with formula and it was nice because I could do some feedings, give her a break, and spend time with the kiddo.

Ask yourself, what's better, no nutrition or supplementing formula? I think it's fairly common to use formula early on until the supply catches up to constant demand.

 

[smwatoa]

@kangarool It really has been nice to be able to take over some of the feedings and give her more rest. It seems like we have/had similar situations. It is definitely better that she is fed rather than being underfed. Once supply caught up was it easy to switch back just to breastfeeding?

 

[kangarool]

@smwatoa Yeah, but it was rough on my wife. She would breast feed for like an hour and then pump to simulate supply further, so every feed was at least twice as long and included cleaning everything.

The kiddo went back to the boob no problem. When the wife went back to work and pumped, I would bottle feed boob milk, not formula. Just be aware... With mine, the kiddo got a taste of warm drink from the bottle and never wanted to go back to cold!

 

[mystic3]

@smwatoa My buddy has the best kids. Well behaved, smart, tall thin and all that . They never breast fed and theyre fine. It's all anecdotal.

 

[smwatoa]

@mystic3 Well, I appreciate the anecdote! Thank you

 

[mystic3]

@smwatoa Good luck man it's not easy. You worry about everything and question every decision. Take it easy and know they will be fine. Just listen to the doctor

 

[elifelle]

@smwatoa Give the baby formula. Take the gloves off. Chill out.

 

[prattd]

@smwatoa dude, chill the fuck out and supplement…give your wife time to build a supply…all that matters is getting the baby’s weight up…esp bc she came early…i was in your shoes exactly a year ago…my son came early, wife didn’t produce enough, we did t want to pump or supplement…she will get all the antibodies and everything she needs from whatever breast feeding your wife does…supplement keep her skin to skin and support your wife…congrats brother, welcome to daddit

 

[dejtemplet]

@smwatoa Have you honestly asked yourself what exactly you think is going to happen if you give your child formula?

 

[bess78]

@smwatoa Dude the rule is whatever is easier for your wife to do and keep the baby healthy

 

[curiousexplorer]

@smwatoa You’re using formula as a supplement which should suffice for the purposes you intend. If she makes more milk later then she can come off the formula. However it’s not guaranteed. Our first kid we did a mix. Second kid, my wife had more breast milk than space in the freezer. There’s also some positives with breast milk such as not having to worry about how to get the baby some iron later in life.

 

[gakbe]

@smwatoa We get it, you think you need to have everything “perfect” for your first kid. You’re going to feel that way a while but the sooner you can get past it, the sooner you won’t drive your wife to divorce…

The more you pressure the worse it gets. Take the formula and be thankful it’s available to keep your baby alive and healthy.

 

[logicaalmind]

@smwatoa There is absolutely nothing wrong with supplmenting with formula. My kids were fed 100% formula and no breastmilk and both are super smart well adjusted adults now. If she can’t produce enough milk then I would suggest for her heath to move to mostly formula.

 

[josephcamline]

@smwatoa Breast isn’t best if your baby isn’t getting the nutrients they need. Breast also isn’t best if it negatively affects your physical or mental well being. Sometimes, you just need a little bit of help. You are and your wife are doing an amazing job,