Guidance on a child’s welfare?

yuripanta

New member
Someone I know -let’s call her Amanda- (who has legal guardianship over their niece) has been verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusing her own child(3) and the niece(13). The niece recently showed us pictures and videos as proof. 4 or 5 videos- all on separate occasions -of deeply disturbing screaming, cursing, throwing objects, kicking doors, knocking down baby gates, exploding canned drinks against the wall and very distinguishable slapping sounds which the niece said was her hitting her toddler but wasn’t shown in the video (these were directed at the 3 year old who was hysterically crying in the background) and pictures of handprints of the nieces face. This along with the niece telling me about it for the last 2 years or so. (I already feel a terrible amount of guilt for not taking it seriously, so please be kind).

She showed me along with several other family members and we discussed what should happen next and we agreed that the authorities should be contacted. I called CPS, when they performed the house call the niece showed them the aforementioned videos and pictures and immediately put restrictions on Amanda’s interactions with the children. She was not allowed to be alone with them until a therapist assessed her, and only background checked approved adults had to chaperone her interactions with both kids. I’ve known Amanda for over a decade and she’s mentally unstable but hides it VERY well. She has passed her assessment and now is required to see a therapist along with the niece.

I’ve been in contact with the niece the entire time, and the niece just informed me that Amanda speaks with her therapist for an hour before the nieces actual session. She has somehow convinced the therapist that the niece is a pathological liar who has extreme violent outbursts among other mental health issues. They had a group therapy session where Amanda wouldn’t let the niece speak and when she did, would claim that she was lying. After the session the therapist spoke to the niece and informed her she would be putting her on “relaxing meds” to try to control these outbursts.

My entire family of 16 people have known this child from birth (she lived with all of us in a 3 family house for 4 years) and we can confidently say with 100% certainty that this child absolutely does not have these issues Amanda is claiming she has. She’s a typical 13 year old girl, and turned out FANTASTIC considering the horrible life she’s had. She’s nervous about the medication (I asked if they said what it was called she said no) asking me what would happen to her if she took medication when there’s nothing wrong with her.

This is a fraction of the story but I want to keep it concise- is there anything that can be done on our end or the nieces end about this? I feel this is lazy work and maybe the therapist is overbooked or has a large caseload and is just taking Amanda’s word instead of doing the actual footwork and running her own assessments on the niece. She tells me about her sessions and there’s no way the therapist came to these conclusions on her own based on what takes place during her time with her. (I’m not claiming to be a therapist by any stretch of the imagination but I minored in child psychology for my masters, so I do have some familiarity with it)

Is this considered malpractice? Medical abuse? Is there ANYTHING that can be done to stop this?
 
@goldenretriever I’m nervous to do this…the police have been to their house on unrelated issues probably 10 times in the last 3 years and nothing ever gets accomplished. I feel if I contacted the police they would do a wellness check, see the show she puts on and they’d leave. She would immediately know it was the niece telling people stuff and retaliate even further- because I’m positive this medication thing is revenge for the niece exposing her. I was wondering more along the lines of reporting the therapist? Or something like that maybe even contacting her I don’t know if that would be worth anything…we all feel very stuck and disappointed in the system. Maybe even regret for calling because now look what happened.
 
@yuripanta Yes, report the therapist. If all the professionals around you are shitty, then continue to document everything until you find one that isn’t shitty. That’s really all you can do, but DO IT. Don’t stop because someone doesn’t listen or take you seriously. Are you nervous for your own safety?
 
@goldenretriever I’m not really nervous for my own safety, I’m just worried more that if Amanda finds out the niece has been telling me about this stuff that she’ll take it out on her….shes being watched now so maybe she wouldn’t but I’m still worried. When the initial call took place she went after the niece in front of the CPS workers. She’s not playing with a full deck but comes off very charming and knows how to play into people and apparently she got the therapist wrapped around her finger already. The niece informed me today that she’s seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow for a 2 hour assessment, so I’m hoping this person is competent Enough to realize there’s nothing wrong.
 
Have you thought about consulting a lawyer? They may have more knowledge of a way to help her? What about calling the school and have the counselor be an advocate for her?
 
@18hope It’s hard not to feel stuck about this when CPS barely kept up with the chaperoning and then just passed her along through to a terrible therapist. I’m not sure what the next step would be to protect the niece from Amanda knowing she told someone to prevent retaliation.
 
@yuripanta I can’t remember if you said you don’t have contact with her now… but if you do, you need to encourage her to keep telling everyone she comes in contact with that Amanda is abusive!
 
@yuripanta The nice needs to speak with her school counselor or her pediatrician. They are mandated reporters and reports from people in positions like that tend to carry a bit more weight than those who aren't. If you are able, make the girl a doctor's appointment and go with her. Lay it all out for the doc, videos, and all
 
@zpupster We’re not allowed to see her….she knows we’re the ones who reported her because the niece was with us before they did a well visit and she put two and two together. The school counselor is aware of the situation because when it initially happened she informed them. I’m not sure if she’s keeping them updated but I’ll let her know to do so. Thank you.
 
@alex1971 This is legally fuzzy for me because her mother never technically relinquished her rights, she just never showed up to the court dates and Amanda was granted guardianship. The mother last I heard was on drugs(hadn’t seen her since she was 7) and the father hasn’t seen her since she was an infant. Theres no other blood relatives. So Amanda is my stepsons(24) mother, and when things were unstable at their house the niece moved in with us and lived with us for the better part of 5ish years. We’re really the only other family she knows but Amanda has made sure to cut ties after she realized we were the ones who reported her. I’m not sure if we applied for guardianship if we’d have to fight Amanda or the original mother? I’m not sure how that would work….
 
@yuripanta Oh man that sounds like a lot I don’t know a lot about how guardianship works but I would think it would be against her current guardian since bio mom didn’t show up and the court granted it then. Is Amanda actually a blood relative? If someone was able to get guardianship through court assuming that’s possible it would be the biggest help for you guys but I would also think worst case if someone was willing to get approved to be a foster parent she could potentially get placed as a foster child within your family.
 
@yuripanta Not sure what state you’re in but in NC you can submit paper work to the court to have a guardian marked as incompetent if there’s abuse going on in the home. And I looked up guardianship and it does say a family friend can file papers to request to be granted guardianship of a minor if that’s something you guys are willing/able to do since this would obviously require going to court most likely twice at minimum.
 
@alex1971 This is good to know. Unfortunately at the moment I wouldn’t be able to accommodate her in my house I have two young children and limited space. We have since moved into our own home but I’ll mention this to my extended family with whom we all lived with in the 3 family house.
 

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