@nazpastor It 100% comes down to their personality and that has nothing to do with your stress level during pregnancy. Everyone gets stressed during pregnancy. You did nothing wrong!
Got an 'answer' for my "next level" velcro baby. I was too stressed while pregnant.
arielovesjesus
New member
@nazpastor That sounds like pseudo-science if I've ever heard it. And girl, maybe I'm gross but I don't get around to changing my bedding hardly ever and I have the same amount of laundry but my husband is actively doing laundry at almost all hours of the day, it just never ends.
I know that exhaustion, give yourself grace. You're doing what you need to do during this time. Daddy and baby will bond when it's time.
I know that exhaustion, give yourself grace. You're doing what you need to do during this time. Daddy and baby will bond when it's time.
@nazpastor Not to be rude but that is the biggest load of shit I’ve heard.
@nazpastor Please give yourself permission to say this out loud: “I am a great nurturing mother and the stress throughout my pregnancy is not the cause of my baby’s behavior”
This doctor is very ignorant when it comes to psychology. 1) babies are not in “survival mode”. Yes they are vulnerable and need cared of but survival mode is when your fear response kicks in because of a perceived threat. 2) If that were the case then like 99% of babies would be velcro babies. I’m not sure who has had a 100% stress free pregnancy… life happens and it doesn’t pause because of pregnancy
I was also stressed throughout pregnancy. I finished grad school, started the moving process to a state across the nation, dealt with my MIL and body dysmorphia, all of that on top of my anxiety and OCD.
My baby is not a velcro baby and is actually really social and ok with being apart from me. You are not the reason your baby is a velcro baby!
Unfortunately doctors can have the worst bedside manner and spew ridiculous statements because their ego’s get inflated. I’m sorry you went through that. Sending virtual hugs
This doctor is very ignorant when it comes to psychology. 1) babies are not in “survival mode”. Yes they are vulnerable and need cared of but survival mode is when your fear response kicks in because of a perceived threat. 2) If that were the case then like 99% of babies would be velcro babies. I’m not sure who has had a 100% stress free pregnancy… life happens and it doesn’t pause because of pregnancy
I was also stressed throughout pregnancy. I finished grad school, started the moving process to a state across the nation, dealt with my MIL and body dysmorphia, all of that on top of my anxiety and OCD.
My baby is not a velcro baby and is actually really social and ok with being apart from me. You are not the reason your baby is a velcro baby!
Unfortunately doctors can have the worst bedside manner and spew ridiculous statements because their ego’s get inflated. I’m sorry you went through that. Sending virtual hugs
@nazpastor You have a Velcro baby, that’s your job. Your entire job. 24/7.
The washing and running the household? That’s Hubby’s job. His job is to keep you alive while you keep the baby alive.
The washing and running the household? That’s Hubby’s job. His job is to keep you alive while you keep the baby alive.
cococassell
New member
@nazpastor As a mom who had two clingy babies, get a carrier so they can be up against you but you have your hands free. It’s the only way anything got done when my kids were little and a huge help for my sanity.
love4truth
New member
@nazpastor So happy to read all these comments cuz people have blamed me for my baby being high needs. High strung, velcro baby. She can sense my energy and thats why she acts like that type of stuff. I generally blame myself too but these comments makr me feel otherwise now. Especially the folks who are super chill saying they had velcro baby.
@nazpastor I wasn’t under stress during my pregnancy, I had an incredibly easy pregnancy with my only symptoms being nausea and well.. a baby. I didn’t work, got to hang out at home with my cat and do art and enjoy life while my husband supported me…. My daughter was still a grade A clinger. I had a horrible time postpartum between anxiety and depression and the fact that if I wasn’t touching my baby at all times she was screaming. I felt like I’d never be a human again. I couldn’t even drive places because if I put her in the car seat she would scream. One time we drove two hours to see my mom and dad and she screamed the entire drive. I’m not exaggerating. My husband and I refused to drive anywhere with her for months after because we were so traumatized by the experience.
Point being, whoever said this to you is full of shit. Most people experience stress while pregnant, obviously most clinger babies had a mom who was stressed during pregnancy because that’s basically all of pregnancies. Correlation does not equal causation.
Point being, whoever said this to you is full of shit. Most people experience stress while pregnant, obviously most clinger babies had a mom who was stressed during pregnancy because that’s basically all of pregnancies. Correlation does not equal causation.
puddintain
New member
@nazpastor Yeah...the last 2 months of my pregnancy with my youngest were spent in and out of a pediatric hospital after my eldest got diagnosed with a rare kidney disease. Easily the most stressful time I've been through in my entire life and my second born is the chillest baby on earth. I really doubt anything you did made your kid a velcro baby.
amanda_forjesus
New member
@nazpastor What! That’s nonsense.
@nazpastor Oh I had the most stressful pregnancy, why is this baby way more relaxed than my first baby who had a chill pregnancy?
fireflyflame
New member
@nazpastor I was the least stressed version of myself during my pregnancy. Like, truly blissed out. Queen of zen. Zero fucks given. I was also the healthiest/strongest version of myself. Was so selfish and drowned myself in self love. I didn’t have a freakin worry in the world.
Now my baby is 15 months and I can’t even pee by myself.
Your MCN is full of shit.
You’ve done nothing wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with your baby!
He really really loves you and you make him feel safe. There’s nothing wrong with that. He’ll learn to feel safe on his own someday. But for now, he just needs you!! I know it’s exhausting. I’m sorry!!
Now my baby is 15 months and I can’t even pee by myself.
Your MCN is full of shit.
You’ve done nothing wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with your baby!
He really really loves you and you make him feel safe. There’s nothing wrong with that. He’ll learn to feel safe on his own someday. But for now, he just needs you!! I know it’s exhausting. I’m sorry!!
lillypilly
New member
@nazpastor I was extremely stressed during my second pregnancy (wrote and defended by PhD in the first trimester, graduated in the second trimester). That was the chillest baby ever. She’s still pretty chill and very high sleep needs at 2.5 years old.
@nazpastor wtf no, that’s not a thing.
@nazpastor This is absolute nonsense. She sounds like she has no idea what she's talking about or just likes the sound of her own voice.
You did not make your baby this way! Look up the fourth trimester!
I have 3 kids and all 3 have been completely different. The first was a nightmare with reflux, second was a velcro baby and my 3rd (who is 12 weeks old) has been an absolute dream. I was 3 months pregnant with my 3rd my mum passed away unexpectedly so if this were true she'd be the most clingy baby ever.
Please don't ever blame yourself. I know it doesn't help but it does get easier and one day this velcro baby of yours is going to grow into an independent child because of the love and attention you once gave them. You've got this and you are doing an incredible job
You did not make your baby this way! Look up the fourth trimester!
I have 3 kids and all 3 have been completely different. The first was a nightmare with reflux, second was a velcro baby and my 3rd (who is 12 weeks old) has been an absolute dream. I was 3 months pregnant with my 3rd my mum passed away unexpectedly so if this were true she'd be the most clingy baby ever.
Please don't ever blame yourself. I know it doesn't help but it does get easier and one day this velcro baby of yours is going to grow into an independent child because of the love and attention you once gave them. You've got this and you are doing an incredible job
@nazpastor I suggest a baby wrap or a front pack to help you through the clingy stages. There will be more to come during teething and illness. I don't think being stressed while pregnant would be the main cause. We all get stressed while being pregnant. You'll get through this.
@nazpastor That’s serious crap in my opinion. I was so stressed with my 5th pregnancy. She is the most chill baby.
@nazpastor I had a really stressful pregnancy and I’m sorry to say I have a chill baby but hope you know it’s nothing you did
pray1x2him
New member
@nazpastor That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. I have had 2 Velcro babies and 1 non Velcro baby and I was most stressed with the non Velcros pregnancy BY FAR. Including a family members suicide, moving across the country, housing instability and renovation of a new house. So, that theory is completely false. The two who are Velcros I had very good can safe pregnancy
justvisitingrealquick
New member
@nazpastor Well that’s wildly unhelpful and absolutely not based on science. If this were in any way true, there would be a bunch of terrible baby books written about it.
Anecdotally, my stressful pregnancy ended with a very independent baby and my easy pregnancy came with a clinger.
What I think most parents would tell you is that babies seem to be born with their own little personalities and moods already set. Same parents, same home and they come out so different from one another.
Anecdotally, my stressful pregnancy ended with a very independent baby and my easy pregnancy came with a clinger.
What I think most parents would tell you is that babies seem to be born with their own little personalities and moods already set. Same parents, same home and they come out so different from one another.