Girlfriend telling my son he has an allergy when he doesn’t.

[sergiomonterroso]

My son (11 y.o.) just told me his dads live in GF told him he’s allergic to gluten and that’s why he’s itchy sometimes (I’ve dealt with my sons medical issues since his birth and I’m also a nurse. He has seasonal allergies and asthma). He is not diagnosed with a gluten allergy.

This is slightly infuriating as I feel she is way overstepping her place. (I have full medical decision making) and she has no idea his medical history. His own father barely does as I was the only one to take them to doctors appointments even when we’re together.

He’s extremely difficult to even parallel parent with as he likes to play games (won’t tell me GFs last name or didn’t answer when I asked if she’s a medical professional).

I have corrected the situation with my son but I told ExH I do not want this happening in the future.

Who in their right mind tells someone else’s kid they’re allergic to something based on literally nothing?

 

[michal613]

@sergiomonterroso Okay I've got to be that person.

It's either gluten intolerant (meaning can be eaten moderately with minor side effects or must eat large quantities to trigger discomfort) or Celiac disease.

There is no such thing as a simple gluten allergy. Last person I had tell me they have a gluten allergy, was mad when their salad didn't have croutons. Assume when you hear just gluten allergy, they are highly uneducated on the concept and are playing with buzzwords and new age health bullshit.

 

[add151763]

@michal613 My daughter is allergic to wheat and her mom tells everyone one that she is allergic to gluten.

 

[michal613]

@add151763 well your kiddo likely then gets denied many yummy treats needlessly.. although it probably is just easier for her to say all gluten products because it would naturally eliminate any wheat exposure.

Gluten is a protein in wheat but a wheat allergy usually implies a broader protein reaction base, not just gluten. And often a wheat allergy positive comes with a non reaction to gluten.

 

[add151763]

@michal613 The frustration is that her wheat allergy score is 1 (from a 3 a few years ago) but she is also allergic to dairy and that one is a bit worse. Her mom will let her have spaghetti o’s, butter milk pancakes and regular ice cream, but not eggs. I tried to explain eggs are not dairy and the response was that they are in the dairy section at the store so better to be safe. Luckily she is growing out of both allergies

 

[michal613]

@add151763 Oh man. Yeah this comes down to poor education. She needs to do the research for all of these things too..

 

[michal613]

For reals though.. Google gluten allergy, it will give you copious amounts of information on Celiac Disease.

When a celiac person ingests gluten, his or her immune system will attack against its own body's tissue. Whereas, if a person is gluten intolerant, the consumption of gluten will cause short-term bloating and belly pain. Unlike celiac disease, gluten intolerance doesn't usually cause long-term harm to the body.

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@michal613 Oh I’m aware. I work in the healthcare field and know it’s mostly an intolerance (like lactose) unless it’s truly Celiacs. This is why I eye rolled this situation so hard. Don’t tell my child he is ALLERGIC to something that you obviously have no idea about how it works.

 

[michal613]

@sergiomonterroso So next time you see her, it's time for a kind reminder on YOUR child's health and what his needs are and where her place ends in the matter.

Then promptly hand her a pamphlet on food allergies.

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@michal613 I never see her. Ever. They’ve been together since he moved out. I’ve not seen her at birthday parties, games, recitals. Nothing. When I pick up at their house and she’s either not there or hiding away.

 

[whit]

@sergiomonterroso Take him for a test and get the answer

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@whit I plan too. He doesn’t have the signs or symptoms. But I will anyway. All of them, actually.

 

[danields]

@sergiomonterroso She is violating Stepparent Rule #2 - Stay in your lane.

FYI- Stepparent Rule #1 is - Be good to my children .

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@danields They have played so many games since she got into the picture and he moved out.

• he spanked my son so badly it left bruises for weeks. CPS couldn’t do anything.
  -he violates our parenting plan semi-regularly (not enough for a modification)
• our family dog that he took died mysteriously (healthy 3 y.o. dog) GF was home when he died in the backyard and my 6 year old found him dead.

And so much more. I don’t want to rush my babies growing up at all but I can’t WAIT until my youngest turns 18 and I don’t have to deal with him as much anymore.

 

[rosethepoet]

@sergiomonterroso This sounds awful. I'm so sorry. I'm curious why CPS couldn't do anything with such obvious evidence? The stories I hear about them... they seem so useless a lot of the time.

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@rosethepoet I’m in the south and it’s just. Not a big deal here. It was chalked up to a “spanking” and they said next time don’t leave marks and open hand only.

 

[rosethepoet]

@sergiomonterroso That's so effed up!

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@rosethepoet It is, isn’t it? I even had to take him to the ER bc his testicles were so swollen after. Still nada.

 

[rosethepoet]

@sergiomonterroso Aren't doctors mandatory reporters? OMG I want to cry for your baby!

 

[sergiomonterroso]

@rosethepoet You’d think so. And yes they are. But both times they didn’t report. I did but nothing came of it.