Full extinction parents - what do your night wakings look like and what do you do for them?

[nanipardhu]

So close to doing full extinction w my 6 month old. I don’t want to, but it’s been a month since doing Ferber and he’s still all over the place w night wakings. He eats 2x a night and cannot go longer than 2.5-3 hour stretches between feedings. The first stretch of sleep is often barely even 3 hours!! Nursing used to give us a solid 2-3 hour chunk of sleep, but lately he isn’t even doing that. He will wake and cry for more than an hour sometimes, even after being fed.

I know this guy is not hungry when he eats. I know he doesn’t need to eat at night, but I don’t have the energy to intentionally night wean right now. I’m at the end of my rope.

Edited to add our schedule:

Wake up (DWT): 7-730

Bed time: 7-8pm (usually closer to 8pm)

Naps: 2/2.25-2.5/2.5/2.75-3

Total nap length: 2.5-3 hours/day

EBF every 2.5-3.5 hours

Bedtime routine: BF + sometimes top off bottle of breast milk 30 min before bedtime as much as possible ( I have a toddler so we are not always on time), PJs, diaper change, sleep sack, book, turn on sound machine, lay in crib awake

 

[despina]

@nanipardhu https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/4j4Baf3exl

2.5-3.5 avg wws for 6 months.

12-14 avg sleep for 6-12 months. Which means schedule should call for 10-12 awake. Yours calls for 9.5-10.

Sooooo my reco would be to add a bit more awake time and pick a dwt and start the day at the same time each day so that the schedule falls into a rhythm. I get it with the toddler, it’s nice to just have 1 awake but honestly a more reliable bedtime made my life easier with 2u2.

Try 2.25/2.5/2.5-2.75/3.25

Have a time in mind that nap 2 and 3 need to end by so that nap 2 ends at XXXX so nap 3 fits in and nap 3 ends by XXXX so bedtime is approximately the same give or take 20 minutes. This helped me immensely because it made life with 2 predictable.

Also, once that settles in I think you still have room for for ww1 to get to 2.5 (age appropriate for 6 months) and ww 4 to get to 3.5 (also age appropriate for 6 months).

Lastly, I would do this for a few days and then l would ensure that you know your method and how to follow through and then commit to st (be it cio vs ferber). I would do schedule first to reduce potential crying because there is some opportunity to get wws/schedule optimized (read that without this change your baby might unnecessarily cry for 30-60 minutes at bedtime).

 

[nanipardhu]

@despina It’s weird bc he will fall asleep within 10 min or less at initial bed time with. 2.75 wake window as the last one. I pushed his last ww to 3 hours tonight and he fell asleep in 3 min . Maybe I should keep last ww same and push out all the other ones? It’s really the MOTN wakings that he cries for 30-60 min until we cave

Also THANK YOU for taking the time to help me!!!!

 

[despina]

@nanipardhu Adding awake time to the day and sleep training are the 2 biggest things to help night wakes for most kids. Not all but many.

Do what you think suits your baby! After 3 days if no improvement, tweak more. You have significant space to add awake time. This was just a suggestion you know them best! I was on a 2.5/3/3.5 from 5 months with my second. So it’s about what works for you and your family (and gets desired results) not just about hitting a target schedule.