Fellow dads...I think I've uncovered a dark secret about LittleBabyBum

lotsfun

New member
We all watch Little Baby Bum; it's been in and out of the top 10 most viewed Youtube channels forever now (http://www.tubefilter.com/2015/04/30/top-100-most-viewed-youtube-channels-worldwide-march-2015/). It's great, inoffensive, basically free, educational, high quality, etc etc. I've probably watched hundreds of hours of it myself at this point...the songs are embedded in my brain.

But one thing about the adult brain watching these videos, we notice things that are transparent to little kids. I believe I have uncovered a dark secret in the LBB Universe...

A specific family is dealing with the death of their baby, which is their third child. Family members are dealing with various levels of trauma. And while most believe this was a terrible accident...our protagonist may actually be a toddler assassin.

:: Deep Breath :: Wow, what an accusation right? Let's take a look at the evidence:
  • Exhibit A: Finger Family (Daddy Finger), released 11/19/2013:
    Here we see our family, let's call them the Bums. Clearly there's 5 members of this family...Daddy Bum (Jack which is a nickname for John...goes by Simon when hiding his identity), Mommy Bum, Boy Bum (Johnny, or John Jr., or reasonably Jack Jr.), Girl Bum (Jill), and finally Little Baby Bum. 5 members of a seemingly happy family.
  • Exhibit B: Wheels On The Bus Part 2, released 2/18/2014:
    Here, we see Mommy Bum and Little Baby Bum on the bus. LBB is crying, but mommy is able to calm it down. Tragically, this is the last time we see Little Baby Bum.
Now, I propose, off camera, LBB dies. It's a terrible tragedy. Following this event, the family is TRAUMATIZED. Both of the kids, but primarily Johnny, begin acting out. Jack Sr. develops a terrible eating disorder, which he imposes on his wife.
  • Exhibit C: Johny Johny Yes Papa, released 4/29/2015:
    Johnny begins his track record of bad behavior by sneaking out of his room at night, eating raw sugar, then worst of all lying about it! He is caught by the entire family, but his parents dispense no discipline...instead laughing about it and simply making him brush his teeth. This is clearly ineffective, as he goes back to his sugar-eating and lying ways almost immediately.
  • Exhibit D: Ding Dong Bell, released 1/1/2016:
    Johnny, as a named antagonist, acts abusively to animals by attempting to drown a cat. Thanks to the intervention by Tommy and Mia, he is not able to complete his act of animal torture. Animal abuse is commonly correlated with trouble at home: https://www.animallaw.info/article/link-among-animal-abuse-child-abuse-and-domestic-violence
  • Exhibit E: Diddle Diddle Dumpling, My Son John, released 5/20/2016:
    Here we see Johnny again, going to bed without doing his bedtime routine of bath and stories. He simply falls into the bed, shoes on. Maybe I'm a stickler, but bedtime routine is sacred in my house...it's a way to set a baseline with the kids, make sure they brush their teeth, help them feel comfortable in their rooms...Johnny's father appears to enable this behavior rather than impose some structure.
Johnny is clearly an issue, but I'd like to take a look at his influence on his sister. His sister appears to follow suit and get in trouble with little Johnny.
  • Exhibit F: Tidy Up Song, released 5/7/2016: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or8iYWRg2w8 Johnny and Jill mess up their room. Supremely. It takes the stern intervention of Mia (who, interestingly, is shown to be in a supervisorly role, possibly a nanny or babysitter) to clean the room up. As soon as she takes her eyes off them...they mess the room up again.
  • Exhibit G: Jack and Jill, released 9/25/2015: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzhesUdAPNo The 2 kids repeatedly engage in risky behavior, resulting in injury. One time is just kids, but I believe this video displays them engaging in self-harm.
I think I've made a strong case that these kids are misbehaved...at least Johnny, and at least when together with her brother, Jill as well. But it's not all about acting out, the kids also appear to have some form of trauma causing them to be terrified of many stimuli:
  • Exhibit H: Monster Song For Children, released 10/15/2014: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt0S0QNwxdo Here's our 2 children, with the same parents, in their house where the family portraits don't show the baby. They are shown to be terrified of shadows, birds, toys, and pants. Kids have phobias and are scared of the dark, but these two appear to be irrationally terrified of almost anything. This level of phobia could easily be tied to a traumatic event.
The kids have a consistent pattern of behavioral issues. Let's take a look at their parents:
  • Exhibit I: Jack Sprat, released 7/28/2016: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwUcvycyFL0 Jack "can eat no fat," yet eats drumsticks. His wife "can eat no lean." They're shown to be eating at a buffet, where theoretically they could eat as much as they want, however they have to lick the platter clean. Why this focus on consuming every morsel of a presentation of food, when there's more food around the corner? I believe Jack (as the subject of the song) has developed an eating disorder, where he is imposing food limitations on himself and his wife. Eating disorders can result from a traumatic event.
  • Exhibit J: Simple Simon, released 8/3/2016: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhfshBeXiSQ Now, we see Jack, operating under the name Simon, walking to a fair and ordering a whole pie for himself. Not a small pie, a huge full pie. He desires the pie so much, he almost forgets to pay for it, and the "pie-man" says he has to see money first. Upon getting the pie, what does "Simon" do? Goes to the park at night and eats the whole thing! I don't know about you, but that looks like shame eating to me. Jack, masquerading as Simon, is shamefully cheating on the eating disorder he imposes on himself and his wife by binging on dessert food before going home.
I do believe it's not all bad though. Jack and Johnny are clearly struggling here, and the wife and Jill are getting swept up in it, but I believe Jill is the glue that holds the family together. She's optimistic and loving.
  • Exhibit K: Roses Are Red Song, released 7/22/2016: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUN61Z5KEZY Jill collects flowers for her mom as a spontaneous expression of affection...I believe she is the first to begin to recover from the trauma and is beginning to pull her mom out of the darkness of the trauma as well. I'll be looking for more videos like this in the future.
Quite the story, right? Man, it's sad, but it kind of makes sense given the evidence, right? I mean, maybe it's just crazy old /@lotsfun looking too deeply into these little videos as an attempt to stop himself from going mad after listening to "The 1-10 Song" for the thousandth time, but maybe it makes sense. And if we commit to the family being named the Bums, LBB being the channel name fits with their position of the central point of the entire channel.

Except, they're not really the central point of the channel...if Twinkle is the main character, Mia is number 2. Let's take a look at a piece of evidence here:
  • Exhibit L: See Saw Margery Daw, released 10/30/2015: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBAhvArIMBY Here we see Johnny and Jill playing, when some random animals start playing with them...and who is standing off to the side supervising? Mia, just like when she was their nanny/babysitter. But look at 0:23 in the video...Mia is holding a gold coin with a shield on it, isn't she? Where else have I seen a gold coin with a shield on it???
JOHN FREAKING WICK: https://images1.sw-cdn.net/product/picture/290x218_8963372_6545094_1461951943.jpg

These gold coins are the currency of the community of assassins and criminals in the John Wick Universe. Why does Mia have one? Why is Mia constantly in a position of authority over the kids, despite the fact that Jack Sr. and his wife treat her like a daughter:
This makes no sense...the whole youtube channel has been consistent with who is in who's family. Why is she being sent off to school with them...is she maybe a live in nanny for the kids? Is she really a student?
And that's the central point of the story here folks. Mia is a psychopathic assassin, employed as a police officer which gives her the perfect cover to hide her crimes. She infiltrated a family as a caretaker (possibly using her position as law enforcement to enhance her trustworthiness) and assassinated the baby. She was likely either caught by the kids (hence why they listen to her and not their parents), or is using their resulting trauma as leverage for control. Her influence into this family has led them to take her in like a daughter, despite the wake of tragedy and mental illness she's left behind.

Mia must be stopped.
 
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