Feeling sad, need to vent

[gerger]

Today I saw myself in the mirror at the gym and that made me sad. I know I am obese, but it’s like I don’t really know know until I see myself surrounded by a bunch of “normal” people. It kinda shocks me. The contrast. It’s like I haven’t fully updated how I look in my brain. In my min I’m still 80 lbs lighter.
I am 6 weeks pregnant. Insulin resistant, taking metformin and had gestational diabetes in a previous pregnancy, being 40 lbs lighter.
Then it all added up and I started to feel kind of doomed. Like there’s no way out, I’m already huge and I’ll become even bigger, and slower, and heavier, and I’ll probably have gestational diabetes again.
It hit me.
I talked to a dietitian and she told me it’s not recommended to lose weight while pregnant. However, I have seen time and time again people saying they were lighter right after birth than what they used to weight pre pregnancy, which means they actually lost weight while being pregnant - due to eating healthier.
I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post. I guess I wanted to hear people say that it’s totally possible and even healthy to lose weight in pregnancy.
I wish I wouldn’t look horrendous when I got pregnant but I already do. I wish I would have gestational diabetes but I’m afraid that’s not possible.
I’m kinda sad and wanted to vent to people that could possibly understand me. Thanks for reading.

 

[annointed620]

@gerger Im so sorry you’re feeling like this. I know I had these feelings too. It’s so hard to be excited when you’re worried about what you’ll look like after. Then I felt guilty for being vain. Even post partum I compare myself to other recently PP bodies and feel sadness. I lnow my body just did this amazing thing so I’m trying to give myself grace but it’s hard as a person who has been in a bigger body my whole life. FWIW your hormones are going crazy right now so being down may be a result of that as well. I’m one of those people who lost weight during pregnancy. I was not actively trying to lose weight but like you said I changed my diet to be more balanced and healthier. Stopped doing things like intermittent fasting which I think was slowing down my metabolism. I was also trying to stay active so I walked 10k steps a day with my dog. At the end of my pregnancy I had only gained one pound from my pre-pregnancy weight and after baby was born I had lost about 15 ish pounds. I’ve kept off about ten of those at 5 months pp. That being said I would definitely defer to your medical providers in terms of diet and exercise recs.

 

[chainless]

@gerger I'm obese and pregnant too I know how you feel like.. yes it's possible to lose weight but the right way which means consulting a dietician about it. Of course eating healthy will help. Some women lose weight cause of vomiting.. I didn't gain any weight until the 4th month of my pregnancy due to vomiting every day ..please try to enjoy your pregnancy these moments don't come everyday. My self esteem is low too right now but after I give birth I'll get back on track with healthy eating and working out. We can do it!

 

[gerger]

@chainless Thanks so much for your kind words

 

[dutyandthebeast]

@gerger I lost a bit when I started the GD diet, but my doctor wasn’t concerned and said as long as I’m not intentionally restricting my calories and I am eating the ordered amount of carbs if it causes a bit of weight loss that’s okay. I just focus on my carbs, rather than my calories.

 

[gerger]

@dutyandthebeast Could you please tell me what your GD diet looked like or a trustful source I could take a look at? I think it’s important that I start the diet early, maybe I’ll increase my chances of not having it…

 

[dutyandthebeast]

@gerger A lot of mine came from diabetes Canada for the general information about low glycemic index, carb counting, etc. I was ordered 30g with breakfast, 40-60g lunch and supper and 15-30g for 3 snacks. Prioritize protein with all meals and snacks. The actual carb amounts seem to vary by source but that’s what I was given both my pregnancies.

 

[dutyandthebeast]

I consistently eat oatmeal with Splenda and a 30g protein shake for breakfast. Lunch and supper vary, often like a bagel with cream cheese and veggies and some sort of protein (admittedly I eat a ton of sandwich meat, my doctor really wasn’t worried if it’s stored correctly). Usually a protein of some sort, veggies and rice or potatoes for supper. Greek yogurt with allbran or fruit and cheese/pepperoni sticks for snacks usually. Lots of protein shakes when I need to find a way to fit it in.

 

[gerger]

@dutyandthebeast Thanks so much

 

[mattfaria12]

@gerger Please try to go easy on yourself. Pregnancy is difficult and emotional, and it can be hard to see things clearly when we are swimming in hormone soup (I get it- I'm more than halfway through my pregnancy and I cry at EVERYTHING).

Different people's bodies handle pregnancy differently! As you've seen, some people don't gain any weight or gain very little weight, many people gain the "recommended" amount, which can vary, and some people gain more than that. It really does seem to be luck of the draw for the most part!

I'm sure you will look lovely pregnant- it might be worth seeking out more pictures of other people closer to your size so that you're not just seeing one way that pregnancy can look. I've found @plussizebirth on Instagram to be very validating, and I'm sure there are other accounts like that.

I'm sorry I can't tell you that it's safe to intentionally lose weight while you're pregnant- it's generally not safe. Even if it weren't risky, I'd be concerned with you putting that kind of pressure and stress on yourself while you are also growing a human.

I can tell you're having a hard time, and I hope you have supportive people around you to help. If not, I highly recommend working with a therapist, especially around body image, because those feelings can be tough to manage on your own. Between my dietician and my therapist, I'm so much better off than I used to be- I still get those thoughts here and there, but I've got the tools to manage them now. Hoping you feel support here and in real life

 

[andream2285]

@gerger I'm you. 100%. Like, I feel as if you pulled this directly from my brain. Personally I've had a lot of stuff happen the last 2 years, and at the beginning of the pandemic I broke my ankle, and that's when my 5'11" size 14-16 body, but very athletic and healthy otherwise started going down hill. Since 2020 I've gained 75 lbs, 30 of which came on, and wouldn't budge despite everything I tried leading up to my wedding. The rest came on, almost all at once the first year after. I haven't been able to get out of the mindset for years to try and get healthy, and then this January I was doing good. Like, really good, and making some progress then bam, I'm pregnant. And I've been EXHAUSTED. I'm 11weeks and hopefully that someday my energy will return, but I feel the same as you. I just saw a picture from today at my grandpa's birthday and my mom's like, it's fine, you're pregnant. But no. I'm just overweight. And it's not how I picture myself in my head and I find it disgusting and I'm so scared for maternity photos.

I wish I had the words to share to give us both the relief and confidence we deserve, but idk what that is.

 

[gerger]

@andream2285 I’m so sorry you feel that way! I could feel the pain on your words. I’ve had A LOT of stuff happen in the last 5 years and, like you, really started to go downhill. And yes, just like you, I was doing good this year and losing weight, but then I had this overpowering urge to have a baby! I’m glad I’m pregnant, of course, but I sure wanted to feel better in my body.
Sending wishes both of us can find better days on that subject.

 

[andream2285]

@gerger Yes, our bodies are amazing and I'm so excited for baby, I'm a FTM and kind of scared, but very excited!! Really just all the feels lately, lol. I love that I can come on Reddit and be honest and get it out, it's refreshing to not feel alone, especially when pregnancy can feel isolating... Sending positive vibes your way too, mama!

 

[gerger]

@andream2285 Thank you

 

[msyue92]

@gerger I lost weight my first pregnancy eating healthy with GD, and my doctor said at my weight, they weren't worried. They don't want you to starve yourself or restrict calories unnecessarily, but I think as long as you are eating healthy and getting the nutrients you need, you're okay. I definitely wouldn't go into pregnancy planning to lose weight though.

 

[gerger]

@msyue92 Ty !

 

[coreyclark]

@gerger I count calories to try to maintain my weight, but always eat around 2000 a day, so not massively restricting or anything.

I lost a lot of weight (30lbs) with my first pregnancy from throwing up, and that’s definitely not the ideal way to do it (it was awful). I also put all of it back on and more in the 3 years since I had my baby. This time, not trying to lose just trying not to gain lots.

I definitely feel you though - my pregnancy clothes from last time don’t really fit me because I’m heavier now, which I find depressing, and I definitely look fatter and less obviously pregnant. Trying not to think about it and focus on health but it’s hard!

 

[gerger]

@coreyclark Thank you

 

[ormita]

@gerger When I inquired about this, my OB told me it is 100% possible to safely lose weight during pregnancy…. I’m just too lazy and like ice cream too much. You’re doing awesome! Keep at your routine and try not to be too hard on yourself.