Feeding my baby

[gr8fishingmadness]

I gave birth to my daughter almost 7 weeks ago at 30 and 0 because I had an arterial bleed and a uterine rupture. The last thing we need to do before we can go home is master oral feeding. She’s taking at most 4ML by mouth with a bottle and having trouble sucking when she’s at the breast. I feel like I’m failing as a mother because I can’t get my baby to eat. Did anyone else struggle with this?

 

[nairna]

@gr8fishingmadness Searching “feeding” on this sub, you’ll see countless posts. It’s a common nicu issue. You are not alone in this! and you are definitely not failing. My baby stayed like an extra month for “feeding” and he was born 39+3

 

[dlang10]

@gr8fishingmadness We’re going through this now at 37+4. She will eat about half her 55ml feed and then fall asleep. Some feedings she won’t wake up at all. My NICU requires them to eat 100% for 48 hours so I feel like we’re never leaving. Hoping it clicks soon

 

[magpie0603]

@gr8fishingmadness One of the nurses actually grabbed my boob and put it in my sons mouth and he latched on perfectly since. Weirdest feeling ever but I was crying about it and she just grabbed it and shoved it in his mouth. He was born at 30 weeks as well.

 

[jonbradford]

@magpie0603 My nurses actuay all did this the first three days I was allowed to breastfeed! They had me get comfy, then instal him comfortably, then they would help shift baby around to a good eating position if necessary, grab my boob and pop it in there.

One of the trainee nurses grabbed it (her first time doing breastfeeding with me, her first day caring for my son while feeding) and was like... "Oh... Sorry... You don't mind, right?" And I laughed and said she wouldn't have gotten to touch it if I did. She was absolutely wonderful, and my son loved her, we had some great laughs and his last day was hers as well! We even joked my son had pulled his own NG and decided to eat because she was leaving.

 

[bgnorth]

@gr8fishingmadness Same here. twins born at 33weeks, been here 34 days and the feeding seems like a never ending battle. It’s discouraging because I so badly want to just move on with our lives and bring our babies home but at the same time I know this is crucial and want what’s best for them. Internal struggle for sure. Hang in there!

 

[morning_star123]

@gr8fishingmadness Unfortunately. Mine had the same problems. We never managed to get breastfeeding going. I had to supplement with formula and give him a bottle after the breast because he never got the hang of it. When he was about 3 months old, he refused the breast completely. He is now more than a year old. Still has problems drinking. We have tried all sorts of sippy cups and sippy cups. Most of them don't work. It's getting better, but it's a real struggle.

 

[jrumsticks]

@gr8fishingmadness We are in the same boat with our little guy (born at 35+2, now corrected to 37+1), he is just way too chill and not interested. However, in the last 24 hours it’s like a light switch flipped on in his little brain and today he has taken 3 full bottles! It’s slow going and he needs a bit of waking up a few times throughout (we use a cool baby wipe to stroke his feet), but it’s a huge leap forward. The goal each day is progress not perfection.

 

[rocbishop]

@jrumsticks Congratulations! That's a huge step. Keeping my son awake was the hardest part!

 

[evelyn63]

@gr8fishingmadness Same boat
My son is 39 weeks today! He had silent aspiration so is now on thickened feeds - he drinks at least half now or slightly above or full bottles. Hopefully coming home soon Ask for a swallow study! Prior to realizing my son had silent aspiration, he would only drink 5-15ml’s.

 

[lufuta]

@gr8fishingmadness Feeding is a huge challenge for most of us here. I promise you, this is super common here.

It takes some babies longer than others, but remember they are growing and developing every day. My son was born at 33 weeks, but was TINY due to IUGR. He had the will but effectively 0 endurance to feed orally for a while...and then...he just sort of got it. And now...he's a little machine lol.

One thing with breast feeding that helped is they gave us a 1ml syringe and put milk in it so when he latched to my wife, I could put the syringe in the corner of his mouth and drop milk in. The association kind of stimulated the sucking motion and then any time he would do it I could release more to help him build the association. My wife also found using a nipple shield helped early on cause he was taking bottles a bit easier and it felt the same to him.

But I promise you, your baby will get it with time. It will probably surprise you. You'll be celebrating 5ml and 10ml feeds one day and a week later it will be full bottles.

Don't get discouraged, or rather TRY not to. It is a process!

 

[scrut111]

@gr8fishingmadness I had that problem. My baby was born at 30 and 5 and she would nurse but not as well as she would take the bottle. A lactation consultant suggested a nipple shield and it worked wonders! We used it for about a month then she didn’t need it anymore. And we’re now two years into our breastfeeding journey!

 

[g54]

@gr8fishingmadness Has your baby been assessed for tongue ties? My baby was also born at 30 weeks and I had struggled to get her to breastfeed so introduced a bottle, but this has still been a bit of a struggle. We are just about to go home at 37 weeks and it was only a couple of days ago that a nurse spotted that she’s tongue tied, which explains why she struggles to latch. We will be getting this sorted asap (sadly they won’t do it at the hospital) and hopefully this resolves the feeding issues. Good luck, I hope things get easier and you’re home soon.

 

[titillating]

@gr8fishingmadness Same boat as you at the moment. My baby, according to them is an A plus baby. Started bottle feeding at 34 weeks but when me or mom try to feed him his heartrate oxygen keeps going down. We are not able to feed him properly. My wife can’t sleep because of the stress, since he might come home soon.

 

[paulvogel]

@gr8fishingmadness I am a NICU nurse and I cannot tell you how truly common this is. If you have Speech Therapists available to you in your NICU, ask if they can help you with strategies to optimize your baby's feeding. But truly the biggest factor is time. It's a tough skill to learn as babies have to master the art of suck, swallow, breathe coordination and that is no easy feat. It's truly a workout for them every 3 hours, mentally and physically. It takes time, but the magical thing is after feeling like nothing is happening, all of a sudden they get it. A baby who I could get to take 3ml a feed, and was only waking for 2 feeds in my shift will suddenly be ad lib and PO feeding all the next time I come back after days off. Eventually it just clicks.

It's nothing you are doing wrong, it's nothing you're baby is doing wrong. There may be some tips and tricks that could make minor improvements, but time, brain maturity, and oral motor skill development are the real drivers of feeding, and it's something that we truly can't control or predict.

I feel like sometimes parents have an easier time wrapping their head around a very obvious medical reason that baby is still in the NICU (I.e needing oxygen, recovering from a surgery, antibiotics or fluids, etc...), but something about feeding being the thing holding baby back from discharge just feels so frustrating because eating is one of the easiest, most second nature, thing to us having done it our whole lives. and especially when term babies who had more cook time in the oven, come out sucking down bottles with no issue. It's so hard. My heart goes out to you. Your baby will get it. You guys will go home. It just takes far longer sometimes than we all hope.

 

[paulvogel]

Another thing to add, It's very easy to compare a preemie who has corrected to being closer to term, to a term baby's feeding expectations. But the womb is an industrial oven, and the NICU is an easy bake oven. We try to give them the same conditions to grow in, but it just isn't the same, so they are going to take some extra time to master skills that older babies might not. You are in good company in the NICU. Feeding is probably the most common last reason a baby is still in the NICU even after reaching term or beyond.