@happyheretic I completely understand the concern and fear- I’d be livid if my ex did this, but only because I know my ex. I’d also know there wasn’t much I could do about it and it would get worse if I raised hell.
I truthfully, 1000% get your fear and concern. It’s valid.
All that being said, the comments here are pointing out the reality that some people don’t see an issue, and if that ‘some people’ are one of the kids parents, well… they gave a decent solution to provide the safety equipment.
You have to let a lot go as a coparent. “You can only control what you can control” was a mindblowingly frustrating phrase thrown around here when I first joined. Most of the questions and answers here left me SO defeated when I’d read them. It was like reading a bunch of people supported child neglect/abuse/coercion.
Long story short, “you can only control what YOU can control” was what got me to healthy balance coparenting. I fought it but realized I was only hurting me, (and possibly my son), by freaking out over every careless incident. I am not saying you are, just sharing my experience.
It’s a tough, thankless journey being a good parent. You are doing great- I can tell just by your concern that you love those kids and want nothing but the best for them. I am so sorry you have to have to the worry. It’ll get easier as they age, you are almost there! Then you just have to worry about their own choices, not their idiot coparents