Ex illegally evicted us, yet wants custody

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parodyofjay

New member
We were living together since DEC. 2015. We broke up back in Oct. 2023. We share 2 daughters 7yo & 1yo. We were never married. We still lived in the same house. He was getting more and more abusive by the day. I decided I was going to avoid the drama for 1 night and stay at my mom's house with just my 1yo baby. Since my 7yo was sleeping over her cousins house. When my ex found out he went into a rage l panicked. I was scared for my safety considering how bad the situation was. I called my sister she stood guard as I grabbed my stuff and left. He then said I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO COME BACK IN HIS HOUSE. Knowing I didn't have an actual home to go to. My 7yo is a S.A victim & can't be in at my mom's house because her abuser is my nephew who lives there. (CPS/Cops were involved. Case has been closed) He changed locks. Informed security guards at our gate I was "dangerous and chaotic." He drained MY checking account leaving me with $9. So I had nothing to rely on.
I called the cops they said I had FULL RIGHTS to the home as it was done illegally. Yet the officer who showed up was a complete DICK. Said I should be grateful to even grab my clothes he left in a trash bag on the drive way. He was not about to violate my exes 4th amendment & I was the trespasser here. Yet all bills were under my name and coming out of my checking account. I worked my ass off every day up until 1 day before being induced.
Literally HALF of everything is mine.
Now he wants custody and is trying to acuse me as an unfit mother/caretaker because I have no money and no home.

Can anyone relate? What did you do??
 
@parodyofjay Reach out to the local domestic violence shelter, seriously. I spent about 6 months in one up until April last year. I remember thinking there was no way I’d go there, to realizing it was there or I’d end up dead. It was the best decision I ever made. The help they can provide, the people you meet, just reach out at least
 
@parodyofjay You need to go to your local government offices (police, firefighters) and ask for resources.

File a restraining order on your ex and start a case to give you access to the house.

This is not the time to get emotional, it’s the time to act. You need assistance of all sorts and filling out applications for welfare will take too long for immediate help.

Go to a church or police station with your situation.

And you cannot leave your child with the sexual abuser. Too much risk.

This will be rough and feel almost impossible but you just find a way to survive.

Most importantly please file a restraining order to give you access to the apartment.

Did you ex have any weapons in the house?
 
@seekeroftruth1920 Contact women’s shelters of course but that’s why I push for involving Police because a report will get you priority in a women’s shelter and they will help assign you a case worker who does more of the paperwork you need and connects you with further resources.

At least that’s how I did my situation when I went through DV and was homeless with no car as well.
 
@parodyofjay It would be a good idea to go to a DV shelter with both kids cos you may have more of a chance to get protection and help you need if that makes sense. Good luck with it all...Please if possible keep us posted as to how you and the kids are going x
 
@parodyofjay Yta, for staying at your mum's with your 1 year old, especially as your nephew who sa your 7 year old is living there, why would you put your 1 year old at risk.

You better hope he doesn't use the fact that you let your 1 year old stay under the roof of someone who has already sa one of your kids against you.
 
@katrina2017 he's currently staying at one of HIS family members house. But he clearly can't stay there much longer. Considering he supposed to be under my sisters custody. (She lives at my moms)

I had posted the full story in another "community."
Tried to shorten it and left a lot out 😅
 
@katrina2017 I guess it’s just all depends on the cop that shows up with me 🥴. Some have agreed to let me into the home, and others have not.
The locksmith is going to take money. He hasn’t gave me a single cent as form of Child support. With my bills paid I have to live off of $100 for the next two weeks. I still need to buy the baby diapers and pump gas.
I will, however, be looking for a diaper bank immediately.
 
@parodyofjay You need to file a police report so that the cops who show up have context and understanding of the situation.

No cop is going to care for a story that you fabricate on the spot. Because they don’t understand and can’t be held liable for making mistakes without understanding the full picture.

You MUST start a paper trail and start documenting everything and bring proof of what you pay, your accounts, text messages with you ex, show proof of your situation so that the police can document and sent appropriately informed personnel to assist you in your specific situation.

My report to police involved them taking pictures of my bruises and they put out a warrant for arrest for my ex-husband and kept him in jail for like 1 day to investigate. In the mean time they sent 2 cops to my door who gave me their cards and told me to call them directly if my ex showed up to the apartment.

They helped me file a restraining order to give me access to the apartment as I had a 1 year old at the time.

After I was able to go in the apartment, I continued applying to WIC, Medicare; Food Stamps, anything and everything while the domestic violence was investigated.

I was assigned a free attorney and given a case worker from the women’s shelter who helped me and brought me diapers, formula etc. at the time shelters were only allowing women who were under immediate threat (partner had weapons). Mine didn’t so I couldn’t go to a shelter.

But it is extremely important to organize yourself and document everything because you’re building a case against him and you must protect yourself because “he said she said” doesn’t go far and no one can help you when all you have is words, and no proof.
 
@parodyofjay Get yourself to a domestic abuse shelter before he does. My ex did that, he was 3 times my size and I couldn't have hurt him even if I wanted to, but he took my child from me and went to the shelter himself. It was his word against mine and he was WAY more charismatic than me, I was "crazy" from getting beat by him on a regular basis. Nobody would listen to me. The shelter protected him from me because they believed him .

So YOU get to the shelter first. They will have resources and help for you there.
 
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