@destino Seriously, like a lot of the times that I nurse her to sleep in the middle of the night it’s so she doesn’t wake the whole house up. My step kids have school the next day and my husband, when woken up abruptly, sometimes is very disoriented and scared. So yeah, I put her on my titty to “shut her up.” I also don’t like the idea of a very young child being in distress for a prolonged period if I can help it and my boobs calm her down. You’re welcome, household, for thinking about your sleep schedules instead of my own.
@arrowzahns I spent majority of my time nursing my 2 just to keep them quiet for the rest of the house too. Annoying and frustrating to be treated as if it was something we just enjoy. Nope. Half the time I was sick of nursing but it was the only thing that kept the kids quiet and the rest of them sane. I sacrificed my own sanity for them. No thanks given.
@destino I’ve been told by so many people in my life that by breastfeeding her past the age of 1, I’m coddling her like my parents did with my brother and I, but neither my brother nor myself were results of extended breastfeeding or co-sleeping (my mom had supply issues and we had our own rooms). So…which is it, everybody? Lol
My husband grew up in a really effed up household so I think too much gentleness is seen as absolute absurdity to him. He is a very different dad from his father, but still has some old-school approaches. If gentle parenting is causing an issue then sue me.
@arrowzahns Why are men like this? Mine forgets LO needs a snack every 90 mins-2 hours and then gets cross when he's in meltdown, but like, kid is starving and knackered, what did you expect. Mine also avoids bedtime like the plague, claims he's not tired, etc etc, so you have my solidarity.
And I'm still nursing my 2 year old and health visitors and family have been telling me everything is because I'm breastfeeding since LO was born, but especially since he was 9mo, any sleep problems, any sickness bug (wtf), any behaviour... it's all the breastfeeding.
@jorian Mine luckily is good about most things. He might have her in the most ridiculously mismatched clothing, and she might not be ready for bed most nights, but he has her fed and cleaned up.
Omg what is with people and their hang ups about breastfeeding?!? They seriously blame your kid getting sick on your nursing? My doctor is insistent that my milk is going to help my daughter any time she’s sick.
@arrowzahns Totally not the breastfeeding. Kids are gonna kid, sleep is more difficult for some vs others (case in point, your HUSBAND who requires meds to sleep)
@donnessa Right?! He thinks it’s the nursing and my caffeine intake (I don’t drink more coffee than the average mom) but he’s literally NEVER been able to sleep on his own…
@arrowzahns Breastfeeding your children is a blessing from the Gods lol. It really is the best and healthiest thing to do for your child, so do it for as long as you can, no matter what ignorant people have to say about it.
@ctscathy I really love it most of the time! Would be nice to reduce night feedings and if she would stop twiddling me so painfully that would also be great haha
@ctscathy The night feedings being every hour or two is what is really disrupting our sleep (understandably), we are using that book Nursies When the Sun Shines to try to limit her to one feed a night. It’s not really working as I don’t want to wake the whole house up when the baby wakes up pissed but we have had a couple of days where she actually slept through the night!
Husband and I had a good talk and the last couple of days have been so much better and consistent!
@arrowzahns That’s good you guys are getting along better, the restless nights won’t last forever. But I will say, if the rest of the house has to sacrifice a little then that’s okay! As the mom, you sacrifice more than anyone and since it will only help things over time, I wouldn’t be too worried about that. If you aren’t super strict about it, the baby’s habits won’t change for a long time.
@arrowzahns I've nursed both my kids to sleep and coslept and they're both vastly different sleepers... My first I nursed to sleep until she was 4. She has always been a restless sleeper, grew out of naps early, takes a long time to go to bed, woke up frequently at night, you name it... My second is 2.5, still nursing to sleep, but will actually tell me he wants to go have a nap, sometimes he just falls asleep on the couch accidentally, and once he's asleep for the night, that's it, he's out.
I know that's anecdotal, but I really think kids are just different.
But also your husband is not helping. When it's bedtime it should be a dark, quiet room with no distractions. That alone might make a world of difference in how long it takes your daughter to fall asleep.
@kevinkyle I appreciate you all telling me how your kids sleep too because it makes me feel better that it isn’t just me, it’s my kid being herself.
She needs her own room. Husband is also doing all of the construction himself so I feel bad for this, but I do resent the fact that I was promised the baby would have her own room shortly after she was born but she’s almost 2 and we still aren’t even close to the nursery being done.
@arrowzahns i nursed my son till 3.5 and didn’t nurse to sleep after 1, and my son is still a shit sleeper. kids are who they are.
plus it sounds like there are SO many other issues in terms of sleep hygiene and routine and schedule that are more important to change than nursing. bc she WON’T nurse forever, but for her whole childhood she WILL need quiet dark rooms and a dad who doesn’t keep her up out of laziness.
@klonopin48 What’s great is she was sleeping so much better when I had that little “routine” down. She was still a shit sleeper, but for her it was a vast improvement. Husband fought that (it was annoying for him to come into our room to get ready for bed and have to navigate in the dark as well as be super quiet…WELCOME TO HAVING A BABY IDIOT) and we pretty much stopped.
