Everyone blames my daughter’s behavior on extended breastfeeding and I’m f*ing sick of it

[from]

@arrowzahns This is a ridiculous expectation on your husband's part. When sharing a bedroom, it is only common sense and courtesy that you will try your best to keep the room quiet and dark while others are sleeping. I share a room with only my husband. I'm the first one to get up in the morning. I set out my clothes at night so that I can easily throw them on in the dark without banging my dresser drawers, brush my teeth (also in the dark,) and sneak quietly out. I can easily get ready and out by the light of my phone screen. It's a bit inconvenient, but isn't it basic politeness not to wake up my husband with the lights and kids in the next rooms with noises? Also, he comes to bed later than me, quietly and without turning on lights.

And a baby at bedtime?!? That's a whole other level.

Doesn't your husband realize that past, like 7 or 8pm, the best baby is a sleeping baby? If he let kiddo get to sleep, he could have quiet, peaceful kid-free time! (No offense to your daughter, I'm sure she's delightful!)

 

[rachelred827]

@arrowzahns I had a flat out no sleeper my first time around. I didn't breastfeed (maybe I should have! Lol). Nothing I ever tried would make that child fall asleep. She's 18 now and still doesn't sleep great.

My second child used a pacifier until she was 4.
I took A LOT of heat over that, but I already knew that I was gonna do whatever got her to go to sleep!

I don't think 2 is too old for breastfeeding. Before bottles when breastfeeding was the only way, children would breast feed for 3+ years. Regardless what anyone thinks, it's YOUR baby and YOUR life. Do what works for you!

 

[allwhoarethirsty]

@arrowzahns Ugh. My son nursed until 14 months. Daughter until 2. Both were pretty much like this at 2 years old. Blaming it on nursing when he isn't willing to fix the OTHER potential (likely) problems is just.... dumb.

I'm sorry you're in a situation where co-sleeping or at least sleeping in your room is your only option. Hopefully the remodel will be done soon and she'll have a quiet space. Until that time, if he isn't willing to keep YOUR ROOM a quiet space, he should be prepared for a toddler who's up all night. And really..... even if he is. Cause toddlers.

 

[arrowzahns]

@allwhoarethirsty I suggest when he’s playing on his phone or whatever that he do it in the living room until she’s asleep and he gets upset about half the time. I get that you want to spend time with me and be in our comfy bed but we could do that quicker if I could get the damn baby to sleep lol

 

[charl]

@arrowzahns See, you already know the best solutions. I'd tell him, "until you start giving her the best chances for falling asleep and sleeping as well as she can, I don't want to hear one more complaint from you."

 

[spaceleaf]

@arrowzahns I did self weaning with my first child and he breastfed until he was 20 months. We did sleep training with him at 8 months because I couldn’t handle the constant night nursing and cosleeping. We used Ferber. He’s 8 now and is a perfect sleeper.

With my second we did sleep training at 6 months, Ferber again and she’s pretty good although she’ll go through phases where she’ll get out of bed every 10 minutes for 2-3 hours. But she seems to have stopped that. She’s 4.5.

I have a newborn now that I nurse to sleep and she miraculously sleeps in a bassinet (my first baby that doesn’t cosleep) and she’s not a great sleeper but she’s only 2 months. I plan on sleep training when she is about 5 months old.

Breastfeeding has nothing to do with it. Routine is important (at least for us it works). Have you considered sleep training?

 

[arrowzahns]

@spaceleaf A LOT of people have recommended Ferber and we tried but didn’t stick to it. Sleep training is something we need to do and stick to.

 

[mrdenno86]

@arrowzahns Your husband is a huge child. Your baby is an actual child. Check out Precious Little Sleep, it changes my life. It’s sleep training but also includes “swaps” that are more gentle. And she has a method to stop night feeds. You’re not doing anything wrong, but you probably should try to get better sleep for yourself.