Everyone else
- Thread starter delurkish
- Start date
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- waiting for baby
A lot of things can definitely be done with kids, if you’re willing! I’m glad you figured out what works best for you!@delurkish Thank you! I hope the wait won’t feel too long in the end for you. It’ll be worth it no matter what!
dinomangino
New member
@delurkish I didn't feel jealous but just came to say I wished I was in their shoes until now
Some of my friends are having a really hard time financially.. my husband and I paid off our cars, student loan debt, and bought a house to become a rental all before we started trying to have kids. I'm 30 now with one babe and another on the way and it's a relief every time I hear from them.
I had more jealousy when it took a year ish to conceive so many just prep yourself that it could happen fast or slow but know that in today's economy I think you're doing the right thing!
Some of my friends are having a really hard time financially.. my husband and I paid off our cars, student loan debt, and bought a house to become a rental all before we started trying to have kids. I'm 30 now with one babe and another on the way and it's a relief every time I hear from them.
I had more jealousy when it took a year ish to conceive so many just prep yourself that it could happen fast or slow but know that in today's economy I think you're doing the right thing!
@dinomangino Lots of my friends who are pregnant/have children are struggling too, which is a big reason why we’re waiting. Thankfully, I do feel like we’re doing the right thing, it’s just SO hard to convince myself that I am. We’re not planning to buy a house at any point, but we’re working currently on finishing up wedding plans, paying off all personal debt, and building a solid savings before we start trying! We’ve got about a year before we do, but that plan could change depending on certain things. It makes me feel better to know other people have friends who are struggling while we’re waiting! Makes me weirdly feel responsible.
dinomangino
New member
@delurkish It will be less stress on your relationship too during a stressful time (bringing life into the world and raising them). I found journaling helped, taking time to learn about pregnancy, taking steps to be healthy and taking prenatals and such.. it sounds weird but that act of prepping made me feel like I was doing something to start my family? I also respect and know that not everyone likes knowing all the things lol.
@dinomangino I wanna know ALL the things haha! That’s sort of my plan actually! I know quite a bit about pregnancy and pre-natal care already, as I work in healthcare and previously worked in women’s health, but I hope to learn a LOT more through some (proper) research and books. I’m planning to work on eating better and getting more exercise, and possibly starting a prenatal vitamin too. Great ideas 
dinomangino
New member
@delurkish I enjoyed the kick podcast even though I'm not Australian, and I also loved the birth hour. Hearing other women's birth stories helped visualize all possibilities. Something I wish I did more was learn about nursing, and wake windows, also doesn't hurt to get stronger glutes to help prevent pubic synphis ( I spelt the second word wrong for sure!) also talking to your partner about parenting styles, night time expectations and division of labour.
Anyway I hope the feeling goes away but you're definitely being responsible!
Anyway I hope the feeling goes away but you're definitely being responsible!
@dinomangino OMG I’ll check those out, thank you!! I love podcasts! I’m pretty familiar with nursing, sleep/wake cycles and windows, and we’ve talked extensively about parenting and expectations for one another, so I feel like I’m on a good track! Thank you friend! 
@delurkish It’s hard. It’s hard in a way that feels so isolating. No one I know IRL is in the same position as me (that I know of) — everyone has already either had kids and planning for more, or nowhere near having kids. I have a friend who constantly asks my husband and I when we’re starting, I’ve gotten questions from family members now that we’re newly married…
I truly, truly want to enjoy being married to my husband just the two of us, since we met less than two years ago. And I want to honor our timeline of being married one year before trying without pressuring him out of sadness or worry. But no one I know understands how sad it makes me feel to see a mother walking down the street with a baby or a little kid in hand. And worse, I’m always worried about the specter of infertility, for reasons I won’t go into here.
It’s hard. It feels, childishly, like a prize I desperately want that everyone else, even those who wanted it so much less, those who have gone through so much less hardship (tmi - I was cheated on and then abandoned by my first husband when I started getting serious about starting a family while my best friend announced her first pregnancy that same month) get to have.
I truly, truly want to enjoy being married to my husband just the two of us, since we met less than two years ago. And I want to honor our timeline of being married one year before trying without pressuring him out of sadness or worry. But no one I know understands how sad it makes me feel to see a mother walking down the street with a baby or a little kid in hand. And worse, I’m always worried about the specter of infertility, for reasons I won’t go into here.
It’s hard. It feels, childishly, like a prize I desperately want that everyone else, even those who wanted it so much less, those who have gone through so much less hardship (tmi - I was cheated on and then abandoned by my first husband when I started getting serious about starting a family while my best friend announced her first pregnancy that same month) get to have.
@rdemers What I’ve learned from this sub is that there’s a world full of people like me out there. While I also don’t know anyone in our boat - this community is just full of people like us. It’s so isolating. It sounds like me and you have a lot in common though. I guess we both just have to know it WILL happen, all in good timing.