@arrowzahns I'm a CLC.
This is biologically NORMAL behavior. I hate the term extended breastfeeding as The AAP and the WHO now recommend at least 2 years of breastfeeding. The average weaning age globally is 2-7 years. Biological infant sleep is not like adult sleep. And from a neurological standpoint, humans are infants for the first 3 years of life. Cosleeping is also the biological norm for our species, independent sleep is a western concept.
That being said, I'll tell you my sleep set up and maybe it will give you some ideas. I have an 18 month old and a 3-year old. The 18 month old has coslept with me since he was born. My husband doesn't even sleep in our bed anymore, he sleeps in my toddlers bed with her because she still needs sleep support. If you think about it, it's not a totally crazy concept that little kids don't like to be alone in the dark for 10-12 hours.
My 18 month old goes to bed around 7-8pm. I don't put a hard time on it, because he's human and not a robot. If nap ran a little late, then he might be up a little later. It is way easier to go with the flow than fight it. I side lie nurse him until he falls asleep on my floor mattress. I basically use the bedroom for sleep only. If husband was in the room playing on an ipad, the kid would never go to sleep. When he wakes up in the night i just nurse him back to sleep.
You can make adjustments to your sleeping situation if yours is not working for you. I think the biggest thing is that husband is there, being all loud when the baby is trying to go to bed. Maybe try making a space just for sleep and suggest that husband do his iPad in another room while you're doing bedtime. Some cultures have sleeping rooms, and they are for sleeping, not TV or entertainment. It makes sense. Also I'm not sure how close your little one is to 3, but around 3yo babies start to drop that nap in the middle of the day. When they drop the nap, usually bedtime gets a lot smoother as they just conk out.
As far as the night weaning goes, it's possible but often times you have to employ the help of your partner to soothe the baby. Usually takes a few days for the baby to grasp that they don't get night time milk anymore. You could try telling them that "milky is asleep and you can have some as soon as the sun comes out".
Everyone is so quick to blame breastfeeding for a, b and c problem when more often than not their kids are acting totally normal. It's usually adults who need some reframing of their expectations and education on what the norm is as far as infant behaviors.