Driving 5/ 6 hours (without counting breaks) for Thanksgiving with a 2 month old. Would you do it?

[graced1257]

So important to know me and my husband don’t have any family close to us. We’re from different countries and we’re currently living in my husband’s country because of work. His family lives 5 to 6 hours away not counting the breaks we would have to take.

Thanksgiving is not really something I celebrate because it’s not part of my culture but it is my husband’s. Anyways we have a 3 week old right now he’ll be 2 months by thanksgiving. We are pretty tired especially because we have 0 help.

My husband’s family said a couple months ago while I was pregnant that they would come here for thanksgiving and get an Airbnb to host thanksgiving dinner so we wouldn’t have to travel but now they told us they can’t afford it. We can’t really afford to rent a place there (they don’t have space in their houses to stay with a baby), pay gas and a sitter/board for our dog but they would probably help paying for some of that…

I’m also concerned about sick people… They’re going to have some people over and I don’t know how safe that will be regarding baby getting sick… I’m super anxious about that.

Family is important and we deeply miss having family around… My husbands side is super nice and good energy to have around.. It would also be important to have them knowing our son… But would you do it having everything else in mind?

 

[carrilynn]

@graced1257 No. To start, if you can’t afford it/it would be a financial burden, don’t do it. Maybe go to Christmas instead?

 

[jjgodman]

@graced1257 No. You can’t afford it, and have a very expensive new member of the family! I would not travel that far to then go to a large family gathering with a newborn. Baby will be exposed to soooo many germs.

 

[pturner0922]

@jjgodman Yes to this. Even if you did the drive, the germs aren't worth it. Save your money for necessities.

 

[josephjurg]

@jjgodman Yeah its really not the drive for me. Ive done long drives with a newborn. Its just nto WORTH the drive to gk to a huge family gathering with a newborn.

 

[spiritualfreedom1]

@jjgodman It would be considered pretty odd in my country in Western Europe to skip out on Christmas for fear of germs (we don't have Thanksgiving), or at least not unless the baby was a week old or medically fragile or something. In general we don't really do the seclusion thing, beyond what the mom needs to recover. I won't say babies never get sick from gatherings, especially if sick people don't stay at home or keep their distance, but it seems to be more common that babies catch an illness from their parents or from their older siblings in particular.

Now that said, we mostly wouldn't take on a drive that length with a 2 month old either. Though my parents brought me to our home country on a plane about that age, the mad bastards.

 

[josephjurg]

@spiritualfreedom1 In the us its recommended to keep exposure to a minimum until they get their first shots around 2 months old. Pertussis is a really big problem here and deadly for infants.

 

[graced1257]

@josephjurg I took the shot while I was still pregnant so he would get the antibodies. Is it still dangerous even after that?

 

[takethiscup]

@graced1257 Yes. Just limit exposure until after first vaccinations

 

[spiritualfreedom1]

@josephjurg Here that would be considered to be bad for the parents' mental health. Pregnant women do get the TDAP in pregnancy to provide some pertussis protection for newborns. It is also not quite as widespread here for some reason.

 

[jjgodman]

@spiritualfreedom1 But does your country also have tons of anti-vaxxers and people who think COVID is a government conspiracy?

 

[kejuli]

@jjgodman We’ve got our fair share of the tin foil hat brigade, yeah. But even so, they only give the Covid vaccine to the elderly and immune compromised. They wouldn’t even give me it when I was pregnant. And we don’t even have the RSV vaccine yet.

It’s definitely more relaxed over here. I think we’d be viewed oddly if we said we were isolating for two months. My first got a cold at about 7 weeks from my aunt at her 50th wedding anniversary, I was fuming…why would you come near a baby if you were ill. My second is 17 weeks and he’s already been ill 4 times from his big sis…he’s been fine thank god!

 

[spiritualfreedom1]

@jjgodman Some, but not as many. Unfortunately they don't give vaccines as freely either though.

 

[tisati]

@graced1257 I would stay home. There will be plenty more thanksgivings your baby can attend

 

[graced1257]

@tisati Actually probably not since we’re moving to my home country as soon as my husband’s contract ends… But yeah… Maybe this thanksgiving and next year’s if things take a little longer than expected… But I think all the comments are in agreement that is not worth it

 

[pidgie]

@graced1257 I’ll have a 1 month old-ish around thanksgiving and we won’t even drive 1.5 hours in the height of RSV season. My in laws and extended family don’t really believe in medicine or vaccines of any kind and I don’t feel comfortable exposing my newborn to that. Literally one of my nieces or nephews are always coughing/sneezing/dripping with snot.

I’m lowkey dreading that conversation, they keep going on and on about how excited the kids are to meet their new cousin and I’m like yeeeahhh it’ll be great when they eventually meet in like 6ish months

 

[dhen]

@graced1257 Even so, baby’s health and your mental health take priority this thanksgiving

 

[thomasgreentiller]

@graced1257 If it was only the drive I would go. But if you cant afford it and baby will be exposed to viruses so early, then I dont think it is worthy it. Can they come to you on another date? You can say the pediatrician said baby shouldn’t travel at all before he has had his shots.

 

[takethiscup]

@thomasgreentiller I wouldn't make up stories, I think it's just important to politely send boundaries and advise them you are waiting for vaccinations. The public health concerns for newborns is much greater now vs whenever family memb rs were babies

 

[peachykeen]

@graced1257 No… my BFF took her 6 week old 12 hours to Texas from Tennessee and then a flight to New Mexico, then back to Texas. Her baby has now developed congestion and a slight cough. She hasn’t had her vaccines yet and my BFF was basically pressured into going and now she regrets it. Not saying that will happen, but there is always a risk.