Dog nipped baby (X-posted)

@agilefeet Honestly stand your ground, they need to be responsible pet owners. I have 2 dogs, I have one old small guy who is snippy when you get in his space (he’s old and fragile and it’s not his fault) my big guy (he’s a Great Dane) would never bite he is such a moosh but he is excitable and jumps and runs around when people come over. I put them both in a separate room when we have other people’s kids over, id rather have the separated for the day then have one of them possibly hurt a child.
 
@agilefeet This is a safety issue, you should not back down from your stance.

I, myself, have a large dog (65 pounds) that tolerates select people (there are about only 10 people that is likes, everyone else he needs to be kept away from for their safety).. We are fortunate that he has always tolerated our two kids (7 & 4) very well. HOWEVER, he is never alone with my kids. If I go outside to check the mail, he's either outside with me or gated in a room away from the kids. He has resource guarding issues, so we he NEVER loose in the house when we are eating. We know his limits and we know when he needs to be separated and have his own space.

I do this to keep my kids AND my dog safe.

I worked as a dog trainer for 7 years. Dogs can be unpredictable around kids. Don't be scared to stand up to your family on this matter.
 
@agilefeet My in-laws have a huge terrible dog that's really poorly trained. But they think it's cute that it's "wild". It's attacked me in the past, and the local kennel refuses to board that dog after previous experiences. After that, I refuse to stay with them or allow the dog in my presence. The last time I went over to their house was many years ago when their previous dog (also with the same behavioral problems) died and they hadn't bought this one yet. They're allowed to come over without the dog, and we meet up with them at other relatives' houses, but we won't go near them if the dog is there.

Now that I have a kid, they're not allowed to bring the dog anywhere near him. I'm absolutely open with them that it's their fault we won't come over anymore. Is it awkward? Absolutely. But people like that don't deserve any better. And I'd rather have pissed off in-laws than a mutilated baby.
 
@agilefeet I love dogs, I am 100% a dog person. I just want to start by saying that. When my son was an infant, I stopped at my sisters house to change his diaper while we were out at the park. She lives close by, and I thought he was on the verge of a blowout with no extra change of clothes. Not unusual, as my mom was living with her at the time and we were there pretty often. I changed my son, and went to throw the diaper away in the kitchen. Her dog was separated from the living room already by a gate, which was also not unusual as they do that every day. On the way back toward the living room after diaper disposal, her dog who is sitting completely still, jumps up and bites my face without warning. I had to separate his mouth from my face while trying to remain calm, feeling his teeth had went through my nose and bottom lip. No warning, no growl, no bark. Just jumped up and bit me, catching the bridge of my nose, chipping two teeth, and catching my bottom lip. He didn’t even apply force and that much happened. I don’t know what made me put the baby back down before I walked in there, because I’d usually carry him with me. But I was thankful I did because my son would have been the one who had gotten bitten. My mother snapped, got told she had to move out, and nobody would take responsibility for the fact this unprovoked dog had just bit my face for no reason. He knows me, knows us. I had to get multiple stitches, and now have a scar for life. After that, my son and I have never stepped foot in that house if the dog was out of his cage. I was not the last person he bit, he has done it again just not as bad. Usually it’s kids, which makes it even worse for me since it’s a dominance issue (I’m very small and can pass for a child’s size.)

You are not being unreasonable for not wanting the dog around your baby, and no matter how uncomfortable it makes anyone it needs to be said. I can confidently say even though it might not be your child that dog bites, it will bite again. If it wasn’t threatened, it will not be an isolated incident.
 
@agilefeet I don't understand why they would be upset that you don't want to force them into a potential lawsuit situation. I have two huge dogs. One (male) is half husky and has an alpha complex. The other (female) is a lab Dane and is super sweet and pretty lazy, but she's also a puppy. My friend who has a two year old and lives two hours away really likes to come stay with me for several days at a time. I obviously can't keep my dogs locked up that whole time, and I also work full time and can't afford to take more than one day off a week. So there's a lot of time where I am not home to supervise my dogs. I actually have a system of baby gates that I always set up to keep the dogs away from her son, but for some reason every time I come home when they stay over, the gates are moved aside, and the dogs are free to interact with her toddler son barely supervised. Her toddler goes in the area that is supposed to stay blocked off and plays in the food and water bowls, and plays with their toys. Also, my male dog has already nipped at her son two or three times, and it stresses me out any time they come over because I'm scared that my male dog will cause harm to her child, but she always tells me I am overreacting. I am due in February with our first baby, and I am not worried about my child since I already have a system in place to separate the dogs from the baby, but my friend does not respect this system at all even though her own child has been threatened multiple times by my dog. At this point I would prefer they stay in a hotel, and regardless of my own potential hurt feelings about my dog, I would rather have someone make me feel ashamed about my dogs' behavior than force me to put my dog down because they were negligent and allowed their child around a dog that showed aggressive behavior towards it before.
 
@agilefeet My moms dog (big husky/shepherd mix) never bit one of my kids but it’s bitten 2 adults and attacked their other small dog (a papillon) and tore out one of its eyeballs. Obviously when I had kids (and crawling babies being about the size of the papillon especially) I was a big ol nope about them being around the husky. My mom put up an argument for a while, sending good me texts about how much she loves children and how they walk her by a local daycare so all the kids playing outside can pet her (omg I shudder at the thought of the risk here) but I stuck to my guns and said if she wanted us to visit the dog had to be put outside or locked in a bedroom. Don’t get me wrong I am 100% a dog person - my fat rescue pit bull is snoring on the couch next to me right now - but there’s no way I’m taking a risk putting my kids around a dog with a known history of aggressive behavior. Six years later and my mom always makes sure to put the dog somewhere out of the way before we visit and she doesn’t make a big deal about it anymore. Part of being a parent is setting boundaries. Now, if you are planning on staying overnight with this family member, that might be too long to expect them to have the dog separated from everyone. So I’d say staying with them might not be the best course of action and a hotel might be the right decision. But if it’s just a visit for a few hours I think the expectation for them to put the dog somewhere away from your baby is not at all unreasonable. Stick to your guns. This is just the first of many times people will disagree with boundaries you set for your kids and family.
 
@agilefeet The mama bear in me would say to keep your kid away from that dog however you can. The reasonable person in me says that that’s not always feasible and I know how challenging that is. My dads dog nips at kids but he’s a small, old, dumb dog. He couldn’t kill a kid. So I put my body between him and my kids, teach my older one not to pet him, and I ask that he’s placed in a different room with a closed door should it not be possible to keep my kids away from him. My dad does this because I’ve made it very clear that I will punt his dog to the moon and then personally take him to be put down if he bites my kids.

I guess I would ask that they try to accommodate keeping their dog away from your kids. Would they be willing to do that? Does the dog have to come with them? Is it at their house?
 
@agilefeet My baby was nipped by a dog we had adopted,she has never shown aggression before but we got rid of her promptly. She was also separated from all my kids until we could rehome her. My precious baby had a black eye, there was no way in hell I was going to interact with her or allow her in my home again.
 
My husband adopted her as a puppy and she was 9 when we put her down. She didn't harm the baby the first time, but we knew we couldn't live with ourselves if on the second time she did.

I miss her, but I also do not regret making the choice.
 
@katrina2017 My mind is kind of blown that you didn’t even put the animal up for adoption. Also a nip is not a bite. I don’t know that I would have kept the dog, very likely I wouldn’t have, but… I have to ask why not re home the animal?
 
@naturalgraham4 How could we have given her to anyone knowing that there's a chance she'd bite a kid there, too? Not sure anyone would be rushing to adopt an older dog with a bite history.

To me, a nip is a bite. She put her teeth on my baby. He had red marks and he cried. Why would I even want to let her do that much again?
 
Some people are child free and adopt dogs…lots of rescues adopt to people who don’t have kids for this reason. Not going to argue this because it’s actually not what OP is saying- op just wants her family member to crate baby when dog is around.
 
@katrina2017 The humane society will take problem animals and make sure they place the animal in a proper home. It’s as easy as saying “this dog bit my child. It has only happened once but we can’t risk that again” and they would HAPPILY have rehomed your dog. And as for who would want a dog like that - plenty of people. It’s tough to rehome elderly animals, but not impossible. And 9 isn’t an old dog, it’s just a well established adult. People who don’t want to take the time to potty train a dog or get through the puppy phase would love an animal like that.

It’s just so weird to me that you jumped straight to euthanizing the animal.
 
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