@brandon0820 Oofta, that’s a lot to juggle. Especially with 2 working parents and 3+ kids. I mean more power to you and no disrespect. I’d love all A’s, but at 6 and 8 we just focus on redoing/working through what they get wrong and doing their best.
It’s definitely a whole family lifestyle choice. My parents definitely would have drawn the line at every single night in an activity they had to attend between all of us kids. Maybe that’s why this concept is so foreign to me- we had 4 at one house and 6 at our other house. My mom often had to work evenings so there was only one chauffeur.
I think I’ve settled on once they’re a bit older. We’re still establishing ourselves professionally. We both made career changes within the past 2 years to accommodate a better long term financially and with flexibility for the kids. We’re just not there yet where we have the time/money/flexibility/bandwidth to accommodate 1 in a 4 day a week competitive league, let alone 2. In the meantime I’m trying to think of some creative ways to invest in his activity. Soccer camp, play dates with soccer friends, going to older kids games/professional games. Some things to supplement rec while our family can’t accommodate comp without so much sacrifice that we’re struggling.
@dennisbon That is fair and it definitely was not easy on my parents, especially my mom. Both of my parents had fairly crappy childhoods so they tried to give us all we could. Then my mom figured if we are too busy with school, sports, and clubs we couldn’t get into trouble.
@dennisbon I would accommodate if this is something they really care about. Carpools, you gotta carpool. I think for kids, having an interest in sports is so important for self esteem, especially girls. I am secretly happy that my kids aren’t good enough for sports that they would do club teams. But if they were, I would work something out to accommodate. Not doing sports is probably my biggest regret.
@alt124 Do you personally do any carpools? I haven’t had this conversation before. 6 and 8 seem so young to go with anybody we don’t know very well personally. I always see at least one parent/family member per kid per game. I am noticing that birthday parties suddenly became drop off only for the oldest. So maybe that’s coming. It would be a game changer if he could hitch rides to practice 2 times/week and I could shuttle other kids 2 days/week.
I’d still really miss our family time though. I’m not trying to force him to stay young. He misses it too. He’s been extra clingy and upset about not being able to do as much. He says he doesn’t feel as special as he used to be. He doesn’t quite understand that 8+ hours of soccer/driving to soccer means we’re giving up that time in other fun activities. We cheer, pay attention, don’t touch our phones, give compliments. But at the end of the day he still wants to play WITH us. Every day for at least awhile. Swimming, video games, pillow fights, bike rides to the park.
@dennisbon My kids are 5 and 7 and we do carpools. Our school is small and very close and I’ve only carpooled with people in their class. It’s a lot easier when they’re older so you don’t have to worry about car seats. I’ve sweat so much trying to buckle in the middle booster, it’s a nightmare. And the premise is that they have to be into it. If they don’t want it, I obviously wouldn’t go through the trouble.
@dennisbon Both of my kids just started minor football and I am already exhausted haha. It's a short season (3 months) but a big time commitment (5/7 days there is either a practice or game for one or both kids). But, if they enjoy it, I'll do it for them. I think sports are great for kids. And for mine, they sleep better and don't have as much time to waste on screens haha.
@dennisbon I accommodate if I think it is in the best interest of my kid, while keeping the balance of my home. This means that 6am soccer practice is out. The chances of my kid becoming a soccer star are low, my husband is an insomniac, and I'm not a morning person so I'm not going out of my way for something my kid can do for fun with the neighborhood kids. However, a teenager wanting to work a job, I would say yes to. That's an important life skill and one that I would be willing to lose some sleep over.
