Hi. So I’m 14 and earlier tonight, I was eating, watching the wrestlemania press conference and when I was waiting for my food to finish my mom started talking about how she’s tired of having to write stuff on the board or asking for simple things like washing the dishes, or sweeping the kitchen floor, or vacuuming the living room floor. Even though she knows that’s how my brain works, you have to write stuff down for me to do it, and I don’t know if that’s something normal or not. And I kinda made a remark of “I do the opposite of what you tell me to do” as a complete joke! And yet she just started popping off, “don’t sweep the floor”, “don’t live as a slob”. So I guess my question is, do y’all also do this to your kids? And sorry this is so long and kinda turned into a vent. Love y’all. Keep you and your children safe.
@tobi80 She might have had a rough day. We don’t always communicate the best either so give her a break every now and then. At 14 I expected my son to do things without always having to be asked. Try to set your own reminders and give her a hand sometimes. She will 100% appreciate it.
@barelohim Yeah, I try that most of the time, but tbh, it’s kinda hard to when she doesn’t tell me what needs to be done. And sorry if I sound rude saying that.
@tobi80 She might just not want to have to be your manager. Since even though you are helping by doing the chore, she has to keep track of it and remember to remind you or write it down, so it's still on her mental load.
You guys should have communicated better and you are still a kid, so the responsibility to have the better behaviour is on her. She is probably just annoyed that she probably has/had to do the same with your dad.
@livingtheblessedlife Yeah, I guess so.. funny enough, I guess she’s a manager of two things now. (She works as a manager, and she’s looking for a new job because of reasons.)
@tobi80 I have a 12yo with similar issues, and it's truly exhausting having to constantly remind him of the same basic rules we've had forever ( don't leave your laundry everywhere, don't throw stuff around, clean your room, don't leave food out where your toddler siblings can spill it). Imagine if you had to tell your friend constantly how to act like a human bc they were an alien. How quickly would that get exhausting? The older you get, the more responsibility you have to take on. Write your own list, and set a schedule with alarms.
@tobi80 It’s a good lesson for when you get older. Your Mom won’t always be around to tell you what to do and eventually you have to help yourself and be independent and proactive.
@crystalhello Yeah… OP “never knows what needs to be done unless directly told every single time”, yet somehow is able to remember things just fine for writing them in this post lol
@tobi80 you’re 14, wake up. you do not need people telling you what needs to be done. show some initiative. adulthood will be very difficult for you if you continue with this mind set.
@tobi80 You already know what needs to be done. Whatever your routine chores are needs to be done repeatedly over time. Make yourself a list in the notes app of your phone, and set alarms to go off periodically to remind you to do the chores on that schedule. This way everyone wins. The house gets cleaned on a schedule, you show your mom that you are being responsible, it’s written down so you can see it, and your mom doesn’t have to write it down anymore. Show her you are responsible.
