Do we stay, safe, or move and risk everything?

[dixiegospel]

EDIT: We decided to go for it. As long as I don't chicken out with the rose colored glasses. Looking around the house and remembering all the firsts from my boys. First steps, first laughs, first words etc... and the height chart written on the wall. I'm crying and afraid.

We have been given the chance to move from (basically) Charlotte, NC to Superior, WI.
We have 2 kids. 3 & 1.
Right now we live in a (paid for) decent house on 3 acres of land but in a crappy city. The Bible belt and I'm not religious. But my husband's job sucks and he's gone 14hr a day 5 days a week.
This move will bring his job closer to the house we choose. But it'll be much smaller on no land. But he'll ha e more job options and it'll be a temporary set up until we get established and then we can get a better house and land.

We'll get to start over in a new (hopefully better) city with better job options.
But we'll be giving up our home and risking everything.

I'll edit to add whatever I need to.

Do we move, or stay?

 

[gradeonesundayschool]

@dixiegospel You have to decide which decision best aligns with your values. In reading your pros and cons, it sounds like your family values 1)having more time with your husband, 2)living on a house that has land, 3)having more job opportunities, 4)being outside of the Bible Belt (although to be fair much of Wisconsin is conservative/Bible belt-y as well).

You have to decide which of those values are most important to you, and weigh the possible benefits versus the drawbacks and possible instability of dealing with a cross country move.

 

[dixiegospel]

@gradeonesundayschool I didn't know WI was Bible-belty too. Ugh. Ok.
Giving up the house is the only thing stopping me. But I know (after a while) we can get a nice one up there too. But it could be years? Uuuuugh. This is too hard

 

[gradeonesundayschool]

@dixiegospel You didn’t mention this in your considerations, but as someone to left Illinois (about ten miles from the border with Wisconsin) to move to the Caribbean, I would encourage you to think long and hard about what impact the weather might have on your family, particularly with where Superior is located. Consider how much of an impact snow/ice will have on your husband’s commute, how it may impact your mental health (seasonal affective disorder is real and can be debilitating), how poor weather may impact your children (not being able to reliably play outside much of the year, etc), and the extra costs of snow removal/maintenance/winterproofing/snow blowing, etc. I grew up in Illinois, but once I moved out of a snow state I realized how much time and mental energy dealing with winter weather drained from me.

 

[dixiegospel]

@gradeonesundayschool The thing here is there's Never snow. And I love snow. It's been so hot here we haven't gone out much. I figure we can always put more clothes on but you can only take off so much.
I don't know if that's a good exchange. Is it TOO cold? I lived in Washington state for a few years. I was ok with it there. But I don't know how similar or different they are

 

[damisco87]

@dixiegospel Northern wisconsin is colder than Washington state. That being said, it’s not TOO cold to function. People are out all winter snowshoeing, skiing, heck even eating and drinking. There are probably a few days every year that are too cold or too snowy.

Also I wouldn’t say northern wisconsin is Bible belty but it’s definitely far more conservative than it’s metro areas like madison and Milwaukee.

 

[mre12593]

@gradeonesundayschool This is my main reason for not being open to moving to NE Ohio where my husband grew up. I need sun and have spent most of my life in North Texas. I struggle when it's cloudy for over a week. I can't do constant grey skies, cold, and trapped inside in winter. At least when it's hot, we can go somewhere with ac to burn energy.

 

[1veggrl]

@dixiegospel There are a lot of beautiful natural areas around Superior that might compensate for not having land. Northern WI can still be fairly conservative, though I also think midwesterners underestimate just how conservative the Bible belt can be. That said, Ron Johnson....

Anyway, if you can, consider visiting before you make the choice.

 

[grandmaof4]

@1veggrl I moved from the Midwest to the south 2 years ago. Not voluntarily. I grew up in the pnw. I seriously underestimated how religious people could be. It’s like a straight up cult down here. I want to move back to the Midwest.

Silver lining tho, grocery shopping on Sunday mornings is amazing.

 

[bautam]

@grandmaof4 We lived in the Panhandle of Texas. It was... uncomfortable. There were more Baptist churches than fast food, mentioning vegetarian and Buddhism caused shocked and negative emotions. We moved back to Utah. Where I live it's much less conservative and diverse

 

[pastorjman]

@dixiegospel From your post the on pro of staying is having a lot of land. The pros of moving are a better city for everyone and better job options for your husband. Based on that I’d move.

 

[teampureboston]

@dixiegospel Move

 

[rewind2grace]

@dixiegospel Do consider the weather. I am from Wisconsin and currently live in the PNW. Superior is COLD in the winter. Some people love it. It will not get above 30 from December - February and there will be snow in April.

 

[keish62]

@dixiegospel We faced a similar decision recently and we’re moving. Selling our house to rent in another state isn’t great (I hate giving up our low interest rate) but it’s a short term loss for a long term gain. It sounds like that is the major con for you too but the rest sound like pros (especially more time for your husband at home). For what it’s worth, Wisconsin is a great state and that area is beautiful. I think one of the benefits of being a SAHP is having the flexibility to move around and take opportunities like this. Many families I know are stuck because it’s so hard for both people to find new jobs in the same city.

 

[dixiegospel]

@keish62 Ok. Now. How do I get over these rose colored glasses looking around seing all the places my kids did their Firsts? And the height marks on the wall? And the hill he loves to run up and down??

 

[joshua371]

@dixiegospel I wouldn’t move unless one of you have gotten a job offer.

 

[dixiegospel]

@joshua371 Yes. He did. That's the only reason we're considering it

 

[brucepjr]

@dixiegospel He can always get a new job and you can move again if you hate it. Nothing is permanent. Give it at least 1 full year to settle in, maybe two.

 

[joshua371]

@dixiegospel Okay it sounded like you were moving on the prospects of better jobs not that one was already offered. If you have the job I would go try it out. I’m in the south and don’t love the culture at times but I couldn’t handle WI winter. If the schools are better for sure take it.

 

[spartakis]

@dixiegospel Superior, WI is super close to Duluth, MN. With new job opportunity does it allow your spouse to be home more often? That may be something to consider? There are so many family friendly things around the Superior-Duluth area.