johnnybabe
New member
My 4.5 year old is an amazing kid, but is having some behavior issues. He is autistic; I'm looking for answers both about autistic kids and neurotypical kids.
He will lie on the floor, refuse to walk, and have to be carried. He will ignore safety instructions that he knows how to follow. He will ignore questions that he is able to understand and respond to(e.g. are you hungry). He resists/stalls at every step of self-care activities he used to cooperate with (climbing on stool, turning on faucet, rinsing hands, getting soap, etc). He will whine with increasing intensity, progressing to yelling, if he doesn't like something or wants/doesn't want something. It's not a meltdown--he can turn it off if properly motivated. Last year these instances were rare, and now they are near constant. Everything is a power struggle and it's exhausting.
We've tried a few things with some success: timeouts, threats (if you don't X I'll take away Y), redirecting, modeling calm behavior/deep breaths, labeling feelings (You're mad. You're disappointed. You didn't want X), timers for transitions, counting down from 3. For each incident it's trial and error; these strategies all work but none work consistently.
Things that never work for him: yelling, visual schedules. Often we have to resort to picking him up/doing things for him while he whines, cries and sometimes physically resists, leaving all of us miserable. He is in outpatient OT/ST and school OT/ST/social work. We are not going to try spanking or ABA.
Help! We need strategies punishment/ discipline for poor behavior, and for improving cooperation, especially with safety issues and necessary self-care. Please specify anecdote vs research, and autism vs. general population.
He will lie on the floor, refuse to walk, and have to be carried. He will ignore safety instructions that he knows how to follow. He will ignore questions that he is able to understand and respond to(e.g. are you hungry). He resists/stalls at every step of self-care activities he used to cooperate with (climbing on stool, turning on faucet, rinsing hands, getting soap, etc). He will whine with increasing intensity, progressing to yelling, if he doesn't like something or wants/doesn't want something. It's not a meltdown--he can turn it off if properly motivated. Last year these instances were rare, and now they are near constant. Everything is a power struggle and it's exhausting.
We've tried a few things with some success: timeouts, threats (if you don't X I'll take away Y), redirecting, modeling calm behavior/deep breaths, labeling feelings (You're mad. You're disappointed. You didn't want X), timers for transitions, counting down from 3. For each incident it's trial and error; these strategies all work but none work consistently.
Things that never work for him: yelling, visual schedules. Often we have to resort to picking him up/doing things for him while he whines, cries and sometimes physically resists, leaving all of us miserable. He is in outpatient OT/ST and school OT/ST/social work. We are not going to try spanking or ABA.
Help! We need strategies punishment/ discipline for poor behavior, and for improving cooperation, especially with safety issues and necessary self-care. Please specify anecdote vs research, and autism vs. general population.