Countdown until I will be a sahm

[chapisag]

I have a 2 year old and I’m 3 months pregnant with our second. I wanted to be a sahp after our first but it wasn’t the best financial decision at the time. We’ve started to live on 1 income and banking my salary once I found out I was pregnant, it’s been tough but doable. I’m planning on leaving after 2nd is born but I’m having a really really hard time with work at the moment. My heart isn’t in it AND my symptoms are worse this time around, nausea all day and so so tired. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but I’m getting negative feedback about my work and it’s just making it harder to keep positive knowing what I’ve wanted is 7 months away. Just wanted to get that out, not necessarily looking for an answer but want to commiserate with some folks that maybe were in my shoes at one point. Thanks for reading.

 

[graceandgranola]

@chapisag I know the feeling. I was in a job I hated and was trying to leave but just couldn’t find another good fit. Then I got pregnant and told myself I just had to make it until the kid was here.

If you’re dealing with more sickness and fatigue, can you see about a note from your doctor to get some accommodations? Work from home, flexible scheduling?

 

[chapisag]

@graceandgranola Thanks for the thoughtful comment! I work from home most days luckily, but travel for work about 2 weeks out of the month. I think that’s a good idea to at least slow down on the travel with a doctor’s note.

 

[graceandgranola]

@chapisag Oh I would definitely cut travel. My son was in the NICU when born. Both of his cove mates were premier born to mothers that were traveling. One was 34 weeks and traveling for work when she went into labor here in MD. I think she was from Florida. The other baby’s mother was from India. She was 28 weeks when her water broke.

 

[r123]

@chapisag No help, but sympathy. I was working on a really hard project all through my pregnancy and pushed through just for the maternity leave. Looking back on it now, I can say it was worth it, but there were many many days I didn’t feel that way

 

[ruschele]

@chapisag Don't go on maternity leave and then quit when/just before you go back to work. Where I used to work you would owe back what the company paid for your benefits for the time you were out on maternity leave.

Check you maternity leave benefits, which may or may not state those details. Mine didn't, I remember learning about it by word-of-mouth through the other new moms.

 

[jamescraig]

@ruschele Is it enforceable if not written down/documented?

Didn't know this was a thing, definitely something I'll pay attention to for the next kid

 

[prof1933]

@ruschele This definitely isn't universal. I took 8 months of paternity leave and then came back for about a month before quitting. If I'd quit before leave I would have missed out on a massive amount of compensation, and my company doesn't make anyone pay anything back. If I recall correctly, in my area they can legally make you pay back some things (like health insurance premiums) but not salary.

 

[r123]

@ruschele Check with HR about this. I asked mine and they confirmed it wasn’t the case for us.

 

[chapisag]

@ruschele Thanks! I did double check on this and I wouldn’t owe anything back luckily if I leave immediately after.

 

[trinity47]

@chapisag I was you in 2021! It was so hard to get through working knowing I didn’t have to go back. I ended up leaving 6 weeks before my due date so I could get into the routine and rest before baby. Good luck and congrats on this new chapter.