Confidence taking care of babies alone as a SAHM

[christisyourlife]

@cookie1720 My babies came right before winter break of college so I spent a lot of time learning them. During the nights I am alone and my god, it’s hard. They’re 10 weeks now so we’re out of the frying pan, into the fire. Just learn their behaviors and feeding times. Mine don’t sleep until 4am so I know our night feedings are 5/6pm, 8/9pm, 12/1am, and 3/4am. I bathe them at night so they’re relaxed and ready to sleep.

 

[sesquiterpene]

@cookie1720 Leave the house?! Lol we only went on short walks until they were about 5.5 months then we were running everywhere. It gets so much easier

 

[madria]

@sesquiterpene This definitely counts though! I made it a point to even just get outside for like 20 minutes. Even if that was just laying them on a blanket and me sitting next to them.

 

[sesquiterpene]

@madria It’s like hitting refresh on our brain browser

 

[parsalog]

@cookie1720 It’s so daunting but you absolutely can do it! Do not feel guilty for not getting them out of the house especially since it is winter! Work on building a routine that you feel comfortable with and set your environment up so that you can get into your own flow. When things got really hairy for me I would sing through my frustration, they would often calm down from the sound of my singing and I could vent a little because they couldn’t understand what I was saying at the time!

 

[vagabond1992]

@cookie1720 We didn't leave the house until like 4-5 months old and that was for a walk! I didn't feel confident taking my kids anywhere alone for a LONG time and even then it was stressful. One day at a time. You will slowly feel more confident. You can do this!

 

[cookie1720]

@vagabond1992 Thank you! Walks around the neighborhood would be a good place to start

 

[electritarist]

@cookie1720 My twins are 11 weeks and my husband just went back 2 days ago. I also have and 8 in elementary school and a 4 who is part-time in school. You can do it. It just takes routine and a schedule. We have an order of the day, not necessarily do this at this time and this at this time. Honestly, it's harder with husband home than him at work as far as staying on my game becaue I HAVE to be. When he's gone I get lax. I'm taking them to their weight check on Tuesday by myself for the first time and in February I will take all 4 to a check up.

 

[cskim86]

@cookie1720 Honestly, it was so scary for me… I was lucky enough to have a good paying job and 7 months of maternity leave that I convinced my husband to quit his job for a few months. The few days I spent alone with my twins when they were 5 weeks was enough to send me into a full panic attack.

My best advice is try your best to find any help and be willing to take it. Give yourself lots of grace because it’s all hard.

 

[cookie1720]

@cskim86 Asking for help is something I need to get better at!

 

[djames]

@cookie1720 In the same place. My wife goes back on the 17th my twins will be 6.5 weeks. I can barely tandem feed in the twin Z by myself. They need to burp after every once and when I'm burping one the other one screams. My girl gets so worked up it takes a couple minutes for her to take her bottle back. I have to pump and still only have the spectra 2 so I'm tied to a wall. I'm looking for a more mobile pump but they are so expensive and idk if I trust the cheap Amazon ones. So just a lot of solidarity here.

 

[cookie1720]

@djames I’m weaning off the pump and we are switching to formula because the pumping is just too much! Hope you can figure something out that works for you!

 

[lauragarden]

@cookie1720 Not a SAHM, but was lucky enough to get to stay home for about 4mo.

Short answer: you’ll do it because you have no other choice. You are stronger than you think. You’ll be surprised what you can do when you realize your babies need you.

Long answer: I found my twins to be the easiest in their first few weeks of life. If they weren’t eating, they were sleeping. Yes it was exhausting and hard but everything was so focused, there wasn’t much guess work. Wake, diaper, feed, sleep, repeat.

It got more challenging for me when their wake window increased. All of a sudden I had to entertain both of them and both wanted to be held all the time. The crying was really hard on me and started to affect my mental health.

My best advice is to get really comfortable with tears, theirs and yours, and look for a babysitter that you can have come over for a few hours a day just to be an extra set of hands. Figure out when the babies witching hours are - my twins get very fussy from 3-6pm - and have the babysitter come then. It can get expensive but it’s so worth it to know that you will have dedicated help.

 

[cookie1720]

@lauragarden The crying is hard on me too. I have found putting one earbud in and playing something takes the edge off a little bit

 

[lauragarden]

@cookie1720 I would highly recommend finding a reasonably priced sitter for an extra set of hands if you can afford to do so. I opened the conversation with “use my internet, watch my tv, eat my food, shoot do homework if you need to, just help me when they cry”.

I got lucky and kind of ran into mine but I would recommend looking at your local college for folks interested in perusing something related to neonatal or early education related. Experience with babies is usually necessary for programs/jobs.

Stay tough and keep your head up. You’re a mom and that’s basically a super power on its own.

 

[cookie1720]

@lauragarden I will definitely look into this. Especially since my husband is navy and will start going out in the boat again soon

 

[lauragarden]

@cookie1720 Oh! So I’m actually army! Ask him for SFRG contacts. If he’s out on the boat you should get support from other significant others in the unit. Have him look into it. I would bet folks would show just to live on babies.

Good luck

 

[cookie1720]

@lauragarden Thank you!!

 

[williamgreen]

@cookie1720 Little bits at a time! A lot depends on who and what is around, too. Just start off slow and give yourself easy wins.

My very first solo outing was the Starbucks drive through and taking them to visit their active-ish 82 year old great-grandmother. It was super easy.

Our usual go-tos are now walks at the park, visiting the occasional family member who might be home during the work day, Target/Walmart pickup, my son’s weekly PT appointment (only about 10-15 minutes long), and visiting their dad or grandmother at work during their lunch break. (They have nice break areas and cool employers and coworkers.)

Ours are 5 months old now. I haven’t taken them into a proper store solo yet, and I’m not sure I’ll try. But, bc I know I’ve given myself easy wins to build my confidence, I’d be ok trying a proper store for a quick couple of items. I avoid it less bc of the babies themselves and more bc I don’t want them getting tons of attention from strangers. It’s just annoying-ish to me.

Start small and easy, you’ll likely be very pleasantly surprised!

 

[cookie1720]

@williamgreen Starting small is a great idea! For some reason I was thinking I should be able to just jump back into my previous life but with 2 babies with me, but now realizing that is so not possible lol