Confidence taking care of babies alone as a SAHM

[cookie1720]

My twin girls are currently 5 weeks old and I’m dreading the day my husband goes back to work (they will be 11 weeks then). I get so nervous to be alone with them right now. I have a lot of anxiety and seem to get overwhelmed easily. The best I can do is a tandem feed in the twin z during the day while my husband naps in the next room. I can’t even fathom being able to take them out of the house alone. SAHM of twins please how do you build up confidence to care for both babies at once? Will I just eventually be desensitized to it? Any tips or advice would be super helpful

 

[chestertonleddihn]

@cookie1720 You just do it because there's no other option.

And yes, there were a lot of tears involved, lol!

 

[cookie1720]

@chestertonleddihn Haha that is what I figured. Just trying to not get overwhelmed while alone with them is hard enough!

 

[ife]

@cookie1720 They’ll mature a lot by 11 weeks. 6 weeks or so is peak crying, but they go thru developmental leaps every couple weeks. Taking care of them alone will be require a lot of manual labor but each day they will get older, more independent and more fun. By the time my husband went back to work at around 11 weeks, I was so looking forward to getting him out of the house! We all have our days, but all in all it’s more fun than I expected and I regret feeling all that early anxiety.

 

[cookie1720]

@ife That is so great to hear!! I keep reminding myself that I’m anxious because I can’t imagine taking care of them alone at this moment but I don’t know how it will be by the time I actually need to worry about it!

 

[sadboi]

@cookie1720 Just do it!

Sometimes, we get so in our heads and worry about the how, that we add a whole lot to our job. You know how. You've been taking care of them for 5 weeks, and you're doing it! Give yourself a break. You won't know all the things until you do them, but if you sit around saying you can't, then you'll never do it. There isn't an audience watching you, no need to be perfect just do the thing and if an issue comes up, try to anticipate and plan for it next time. You got this!!

 

[cookie1720]

@sadboi Thank you!!

 

[faithfull_fella]

@cookie1720 Practice really helps. “Leaving the house” can just look like you 3 getting in the car and driving through Starbucks at first. Then you build up more in time. You got this!

 

[cookie1720]

@faithfull_fella That’s a great thing to start with!! Will probably need that caffeine a lot more too once I’m on my own with them

 

[m4m]

@cookie1720 this helped me

 

[cookie1720]

@m4m That is a helpful way to think about it!

 

[katrina2017]

@m4m could have really used that video about 11months ago

 

[m4m]

@katrina2017 Haha sorry I was late with the link... keep it saved. I watch it every couple of months when things get overwhelming.

 

[kirag]

@m4m Took me a lot of therapy to be able to work through that during a panic attack.

 

[rosaryson]

@cookie1720 I’m not a SAHM but I was home with the babies, largely by myself from about 2 months to 8 months. They are #2 and #3 for me, so I knew that I needed scheduled activities outside of the home, or I would never leave the house because it would feel like too much work. I set up weekly walks at a park nearby with some moms in the neighborhood (we met on the local parents group on Facebook), and I attended baby classes at nearby nonprofit. And because I found that stroller walks were the best way to keep their naps in sync, at some points I was out on walks multiple times a day. (I live in a walkable area so I could also do small errands at the same time.)

There’s a learning curve to leaving the house with two babies and everything you need, but once you do it a few times, you really grow in confidence. And you get your systems in order! Like, if you can keep a diaper bag in the stroller or car, you don’t have to pack it every time. You learn what works best for you.

I also have to confess that it was also easier after I weaned off of nursing and pumping (around month 4?)

 

[cookie1720]

@rosaryson I’m weaning off the pump right now and I can see how that will make things easier!

 

[katrina2017]

@cookie1720 i was very scared to be alone with my girls for the first time, but it actually ended up being so so good and positive for me. i felt no pressure from anyone around me. it was just me and them. i felt like i got to bond with them and connect with them more. even if it wasn’t perfect, and even if there were a few really hard moments where i would put them in a safe place to go cry in my bathroom for 10 minutes, it was so empowering for me to establish the routine that worked the best for them, by spending 1 on 2 time with them all day every day. it’s super hard but it also goes by very fast. you got this.

 

[cookie1720]

@katrina2017 That’s encouraging to hear! Thank you!

 

[meyerjd]

@cookie1720 I felt this way too, the end of my husbands paternity felt like I was standing at the edge of a huge cliff into a nightmare zone! But as others have said you just end up taking it hour at a time, or even task at a time, and before you know it you're doing it alone! The firsts for everything are super scary but you have to be brave and do them (you can do it!)

 

[cookie1720]

@meyerjd Thank you!