Co sleeping isn’t working. Nothing is working

[jonny1001]

@chenml60 How old is baby?

 

[chenml60]

@jonny1001 Sorry, he’s 11 weeks old.

 

[live4christ2016]

@chenml60 Are naps and night sleep equally bad? How long does he generally stay awake / what are his wake windows?

 

[cyruse]

@chenml60 Can you throw money at the problem? Rent a Snoo or hire a doula/night nurse a few hours a week? Even a baby sitter a couple hours during the day? If not, You’ll need to shift sleep with your husband until LO can give longer stretches. Your sleep is as important as his and what you’re doing is unsustainable and pretty unsafe.

If it can’t happen at night he needs to relieve you AS SOON as he gets home from work until his bedtime.

 

[chenml60]

@cyruse We have just enough money to pay the bills but none extra to buy anything new or hire help, unfortunately.

 

[sifiso]

@chenml60 I mean you didn’t mention anything about feeding. Honestly boobs are magic and they’re the only way she can sleep a lot of the time.

 

[chenml60]

@sifiso I tried really hard to breast feed but he had a bad latch and after 5 weeks of struggling, my supply dried up.

 

[rollo22]

@chenml60 We EFF’d for the same reasons. A bottle to sleep was a miracle. We struggled with the same things you did, OP, and what worked for us was putting LO on the 0-6 month feeding and eating schedule in Moms On Call, which advises a bottle before sleep. It’s just our n=1, but LO slept through the night by night 2 on that schedule. We started around 9 weeks.

 

[sifiso]

@rollo22 My mom bottle feeds her, and sometimes she lays down with her and feeds her that way. She does end up falling to sleep.

There's also supposed to be this new formula that helps baby sleep longer. I saw it on my ads; it's called ByHeart and there is a research study that showed they slept 23 minutes longer than babies on other formula.

 

[chenml60]

@rollo22 Our routine throughout the day is: wake, eat, play, sleep. But the last few weeks I have been topping him off with half of a bottle before bed. I thought maybe it was working at first, but a week later and it’s back to waking up.

 

[live4christ2016]

@chenml60 Does feeding to sleep with a bottle make a difference at all?

 

[chenml60]

@live4christ2016 Our routine throughout the day is: wake, eat, play, sleep. And I do a smaller bottle right before bed. He’s sleepy at night, but still wakes often and needs to be rocked back to sleep.

 

[annae]

@chenml60 I breastfed and don’t know much about formula, so forgive my ignorance, but is it possible he’s waking up hungry? My main guess is reflux. But yeah my dude slept way better during the day at first, then awoke as you described at night after a 4-hour block of sleep. We slept inclined out of necessity, which is obviously not recommended but definitely take a look at cosleepy if you haven’t!

 

[fskiddles]

@chenml60 Maybe the formula he is on is still bothering him? Would you consider getting donated breastmilk? Try looking on Facebook for the group Human Milk 4 Human Babies.
Other than that do you have any family who would maybe “stand guard” while he’s sleeping on you so you’re not so worried and can sleep more? It’s not ideal but maybe a couple nights of rest could help you find some clarity in the situation.

 

[chenml60]

@fskiddles I have a friend coming tomorrow to take over for the whole day. I’m very lucky.

 

[rainbowinthesky]

@chenml60 Can you split it with your partner — 6-12pm one person with baby in one room while the other sleeps for 6 hours, 12-6 the other with baby?

 

[allyalways]

@chenml60 Our baby was like this until 3/4 months. I feel you. Unless she was in our arms, she woke up every 20-40 mins.

What helped us was a trip to the osteopath (she had a lot of tension in her abdomen and was curving to one side, it seemed to cause her pain laying on her back. We had two appointments and did all her exercises, and she started sleeping 90 minute stretches).

The only other thing that worked was cosleeping with my arms underneath and around her on the bed, almost like cradling her to the side of my body while we’re both laying down. It was horrifically uncomfortable and gave me weird back pain for a while, but she would sleep 2-3 hour stretches like that and it saved our asses.

Good luck babe. It WILL get better. I promise.

 

[josephjkv]

@chenml60 You’ve been offered so many great suggestions here that the only thing I would add is to throw away the sleep data tracking. I was there a few months ago and all the tracking and obsessing made me feel worse. Like there was a puzzle I couldn’t figure out! As soon as I started reading more about what REAL infant sleep is like and accepted that this is how my baby would sleep, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I just accepted it! Yes, I was still tired but there was no longer shame in not being able to get my baby to sleep the way others do. I accepted my nights would suck for a while and just went with the flow. Hang in there!!!

 

[emehri]

@chenml60 I’m 13 months in, I pretty much got used to a few hours of sleep. It didn’t start until later on. I think I struggled up until 6-8 months. I was a shell of a person. I was not ok. But I pushed through. I don’t think this helps but I know this will pass and you will be okay again. Just keep LO safe. If it’s bad and your frustrated dont be afraid to let LO cry for a bit. Safety first. I co slept but my LO was in doka in our king size bed with my hand always either holding hers or my face close to her face so I knew she was breathing. It’s the PPA, I think you doc is right to offer medicine. The calmer you are the better your LO will be. They feel us, for a while you and your LO is still one. Your LO can feel everything you feel. I understand this now. It took me a while to get to somewhat back. Now at 13 months we are doing so much better. Still crazy but so much better. It gets better, it will, you will sleep again. Just hang in there. It’s all worth it.

 

[vladimir21]

@chenml60 Chest sleeping can be done with moderate safety. It’s most important that you aren’t so sleep deprived because that brings more risk to you and baby.