CIO for 4 mo. Remind me what I’m doing wrong ?!

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gebphoenix

New member
Second time mom here. CIO worked when nothing else did with our first. I became the biggest believer in it! Shouted it from the rooftops. Almost had a t-shirt made that said, ask me about cry it out sleep training. It saved me and my husband and countless friends we recommended it to. From the day we sleep trained we had little to zero issues with her sleep when other parents were begging their kids to sleep sleeping on their floor, up five times a night. We had a baby and toddler who slept 12 hours. Never experienced regressions it was amazing. Vowed to take our 2nd out of the Snoo the minute she turned four months and do CIO. Well gd laughs am I right ? Not going well at all! Last night cried from 4-6 am it was insane. We embarked on training a couple weeks ago and it seemed to work was getting 9-6 am then she started to refuse bedtime only going down and 10 and waking up at four wanting to eat. There is now the added pressure of waking up our toddler who is having a hard time as it is, needs her sleep.

What should be my protocol here ? Work on her daytime schedule first even doing rescues if necessary and then embark on another bootcamp of training over a weekend let’s say ? Is she too young? She’s big 15 lbs am I not feeding enough in the day ? Help!
 
@gebphoenix What’s her day time schedule? And did she go through regression? I tried CIO at 3.5 months but my LO was going through SR so had to wait until it was over at 4.5 month
 
@gebphoenix So we did cry it out for my son at 4 months. He was waking 5-6 times a night at that point when he had previously been waking 2-3 times so it was an early regression I believe.

We felt like he still needed to eat overnight, so we did the 5/3/3 rule, which allows for 2 night feeds.
If he cried within 5 hours of bedtime we’d let him cry it out. If he cried within 3 hours of a night feed, he’d CIO.

After a few days he dropped down to 1 wake up around 2 am and we’d feed him. About two weeks later, he started sleeping through the night 11.5 hours. Try that, so you can be sure that your baby isn’t hungry, and they may drop the feeds naturally or you can night wean when she’s older
 
@gebphoenix 4month is still appropriate to wake at least once to eat IMO. We sleep trained at 4mo and still allowed for 2-3 night feeds. Baby dropped these gradually over the next few months, dropping last feed around 9mo.
 
@gebphoenix You are doing fine, just need to add a feed (or two) at night. You could always work on night weaning later once her sleep habit is established, but for now, just feed her at 4. You can put her back in the crib and let her fall asleep on her own after that but she's probably just hungry.

My sleep trained 4 month old still eats at least once at night, very occasionally twice.
 
@gebphoenix We are on night 3 of Ferber and he’s doing great at going down (even without soother!) and still wakes to eat once which he eats a whole bottle so seems he’s actually hungry. He’s 5 months next week.
 
@gebphoenix Yup, sleep training is distinct from night weaning. If 4 month old baby can fall asleep independently and is waking crying, got to figure out if baby is hungry first. Offer food, establish pattern of feeding at night time then when baby's sleep and baby is old enough, plan for night weaning. 4 months is still very young. My 4mo baby was 16lbs and still woke 3x a nights. Now he is 6 months and up once a night.
 
@hopeful23 Agreed. My guy is almost 9 months and a sleeping champ, but still wakes up once a night between 1 and 4ish to eat. He goes down independently, rolls right over and passes out right after nursing, and recently did naps and bedtime while on vacation in a new room, in the playpen for the first time without a hiccup. I call that VERY successfully sleep trained, but will continue to wake up and feed him for a while probably- as long as he's sleeping for at least 5 hours at the beginning of the night.
 
@gebphoenix 4month is still appropriate to wake at least once to eat IMO. We sleep trained at 4mo and still allowed for 2-3 night feeds. Baby dropped these gradually over the next few months, dropping last feed around 9mo.
 
@introspectivemuse This makes me feel better. My baby is going down a little earlier now due to nap issues and wakes up an extra time to feed at night. Usually 9, 1, 3 or 4 am 😭 my sleep consultant said I should cut out cold turkey but he drinks so much at night
 
@gebphoenix I honestly don’t expect a 4 month old to not wake up for a feed overnight. I know some can do it, but it’s still appropriate for them to want a feed. I sleep train for independent sleeping and longer stretches, I’m fine with feeding once or twice max during the night
 
@gebphoenix For what it's worth:

CIO, full extinction, worked for my first (son) at 5-ish months. I looked it up because I posted (previous account) and it was blah on day 1 with crying and then again on day 4. Then he just got it and it was fine.

My second (daughter) is 6 months old. We've tried CIO a few times. And either we can't be consistent (we all got sick) or she's just like straight up not having it. It's crazy! My first was the velcro cuddle one and CIO worked out fine. My daughter? Absolutely not. She has so much more stamina to COMPLAIN. To be clear, she isn't hungry, her diaper is fine, she's not too cold or warm, she doesn't even want to cuddle, she can get the pacifier to her mouth fine, her room is dark, consistent bedtime, noise machine, etc. She just COMPLAINS that you don't pick her up and then put her down????

Honestly, I have no idea about how to do this with her. She's just a handful. It's a good thing she's the cutest thing on this planet. 😅 We've decided to just say fuck it for now and retry in another month or so.
 
@sponx Right?! She doesn't even seem bossy! Like that's not the word I'd use. She's... I don't know! She's the immovable object. Uncompromising and unrelenting. 🤣
 
@gebphoenix I wonder if you’re hoping for too much with both night weaning and sleep training at the same time. For our 4 month old, we did sleep training (falling asleep independently, longer stretches of sleep) but kept two night feeds (midnight and 4am). Although I don’t love waking up 2x/night to feed, it feels like the right balance for our baby AND it’s way better than the 5x/night wake ups we were dealing with before. I’ll probably try to night wean closer to 7 months. Maybe your first child was a kid who was ready to cut night feeds earlier than most and fooled you into thinking this was the standard?
 
@cody640 We did the same. Bed time and back to bed was no issue.. but we did atleast one wake up and night feeding until 6-7ish months and then weaned off
 
@gebphoenix She’s too young. Just because she’s big doesn’t mean she doesn’t need night feeds. Just because it worked with your other kids doesn’t mean it’s right for her. All babies are different. Four months is really young to night wean completely and in my opinion, really young to CIO. If I’m not mistaken most resources on this sub recommend more gentle methods at 4m and CIO after 6m or when baby shows they are ready.
 
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