Check out this thread to read how difficult 1 to 2 really is

[warmonkey]

@robnox This happened to my doctor. She said one was the sweet spot. They decided to have the second and it turned out to be a pair.

 

[solaymend]

@aforgivenman Yes that’s why I don’t trust people when they say they’re glad they had more kids (as a reason for me to have another).

It’s really hard to get an objective perspective when the child already exists. I don’t know anyone who would wish their child, whom they already know and love, out of existence. So of course they don’t regret it.

But if they could go back in time, before that child even existed… maybe not having another would have been the better choice.

 

[dianne46]

@aforgivenman My brother openly admits he would have preferred to stick to only one child and regrets giving in to his wife's pleas. He obviously says he doesn't regret the child themselves and that he loves them, but he wishes he had stopped at one.

 

[servewithlove]

I think some of the most eye opening comments in that thread are the dads talking about the toll a second kid took on their marriage. Some of the marriages became worse and others ended in divorce. I can see how that can happen as there's stressful moments with 1 kid let alone two. If my wife and I had less time for each other, less time for ourselves, and more stress that comes with 2 kids it would easily stress our marriage to it's max.

 

[keyslammer]

@servewithlove A big predictor of divorce is having 2 under 2 (or two kids with really close ages). There have been a few studies on this.

 

[littlefox]

@servewithlove Oh my god this thread outlines my nightmares. Honestly I’ve been on the pill since my baby was born (waiting for vasectomy) but I think I may just get a copper IUD after reading that.

 

[diamondp]

@littlefox Yup! I got an IUD inserted 3 months after giving birth to my only. As soon as I had him, it was a hell no on a second lol

 

[gabulldawg15]

@servewithlove Sounds like hell

 

[jtruth]

@servewithlove My read is that a lot of people complaining are the ones with pretty tight age gaps. It seems that people with 4+ years seem a lot happier and saying that actually their first was independent already so not so bad..

 

[thunderchow]

@jtruth Back on the fence I go, since we'd always said we'd have at least a 4 year age gap before my husband started suggesting OAD mid pregnancy...

 

[987abc]

@servewithlove I literally just saw a mom post this on insta reels . That the transition from 1-2 is harder than 0-1