Check out this thread to read how difficult 1 to 2 really is

[fmc4auburn]

@2dancer2 I was definitely speaking in generalizations. Of course there are dads who do it all, but acknowledge you are the exception, not the rule.

 

[heismine]

@2dancer2 Yeah, but also as a gay dad in a no-mom family, let’s not not-all-men it.

 

[unseenunknown]

@heismine Thank you

 

[solaymend]

@servewithlove Same, I really appreciate the honestly in that post. People I know IRL don't really talk about how hard it is, maybe because they don't want to discourage me from having a second. (Joke's on them, I've already made up my mind to be OAD!)

 

[ace111]

@servewithlove Someone told me that having two kids isn't double the work of one child, it's quadruple the work. That helped sell me on OAD

 

[dianne46]

@ace111 I was told it's the work[sup]2[/sup]

 

[whatwasoldisnewagain]

@servewithlove I've always thought 0-1 is harder for moms and 1-2 for dads because they ACTUALLY have to be a full time parent to one child while mom is recovering from birth and taking care of a breastfeeding infant. He isn't just the "support" for mom when it's one.

 

[sacredwriternorth]

@whatwasoldisnewagain THIS. I came here to say exactly this. Instead of mom having to be the only one “on” all the time, now dad does too. And it’s a true divide and conquer rather than mom being CEO and directing the organization.

Now I REALLY want to know how moms feel about going from 0-1 vs. 1-2 (etc.)

 

[fmc4auburn]

@sacredwriternorth Both of my cousins have 3. They say 0–1 was the hardest, 1-2 was the easiest, and 2-3 was chaotic but manageable.

 

[chapnelson]

@fmc4auburn My sister says 0-1 was hard but she was warned. 1-2 felt harder because she wasn't prepared for it. Also she only started going gray after having her second.

 

[fmc4auburn]

@chapnelson I’ve been gray since before kids. Got my first gray hair at 18. I’m inclined to believe her graying was coincidental. But I am sure it’s all hard.

 

[whatwasoldisnewagain]

@sacredwriternorth From what I hear, they just say it's lonelier because there's less mom and dad plus kid time and more dad plus older child do one thing and mom and younger child do something else. One of you takes kid 1 to baseball game and the other takes kid 2 to hockey.

 

[janjan]

@whatwasoldisnewagain TIL I'm just "support" for my wife. Interesting.

 

[whatwasoldisnewagain]

@janjan I should have said "generally speaking".

 

[slro]

@servewithlove This is very insightful.

Before having our only, my husband would tell you parents say parenthood is wonderful just to trick other people into becoming suckers like them.

He is the one who is firmly one and done and I have come around but now we laugh at all the parents of more than one trying to trick us in how much better it is.

 

[soosh8005]

@slro Them everytime you even remotely complain: It will get better! It gets easier!

Me: When?

 

[dierato]

@soosh8005 My only is 6 and I'm still waiting for it to get easier.

 

[trustingindestiny]

@slro Having a child (mine is 3.5YO) has almost broke me. It has been the most challenging aspect of my life so far. Having two is unimaginable. Our one is thriving and I’m present and playful. My marriage is great. But we both know we couldn’t do this again. Especially considering the emotional and mental stress 2x. Or as the people on this tread said, “exponentially harder”.

 

[aforgivenman]

@servewithlove I think part of the difficulty is that no one who went for two, is going to tell you they REGRET their CHILD (or, not let themselves experience that feeling to begin with). So it’s kind of a foregone conclusion that you want and love having two, once the second is conceived.

 

[robnox]

@aforgivenman I’ve had two people tell me in private they regretted their seconds and for me
Not to do the same. One had twins for her second