Can’t stop missing the younger years

[travis%E2%80%A0the%E2%80%A0baptist]

@proangel If I may offer up this… your story is so similar to ours…just the two of us, horrible conflicts in pandemic because of school and him refusing to do the work, my mental breakdown which eventually led to serious family trauma. Again, I could have written this response. So crazy.

I had the same fear and heavy thought…it’ll never be the same. And yes, even though it’s not the same…we have come back to a certain amount of softness which allows for some connection. And so it didn’t stay super hard and some of it did come back. So keep the faith.

I also had to shift to remembering that it was gonna change anyways, as it should at this age so they can individuate. Had none of that hard stuff happened, it was gonna change anyway. Helps get me out of the belief that it’ll never be the same or good again.

Lots of parents remind me that if I approach with compassion that he will come around again. That in later years, when they no longer need to rebel and push us away, they will come around. So I keep the candle burning for that.

I have always taken a liking to his interests so he shares about art with me. And local and global social issues and politics. Actually those are MY interests that i passed on to him…but God forbid I say that!

Happy that you came here to share your heart with us. Helps me too to know I’m not the only one going through this, with such a similar story.

Hugs. Keep sharing and updating us.

 

[jackbauer4life]

@proangel I understand completely. I've been crying missing those younger years as well.
My son is 12, going through the start of puberty etc. He's so different than he used to be...plus we bicker and argue all the time.
He still tells me he loves me and we do things together, but I also "annoy" him.
I want my baby back I cry watching old videos.

 

[proangel]

@jackbauer4life I’m sorry. I wish we all had like five children. Then we’d be too busy to feel this pain. (I’m kidding.)

 

[gnr7511ministries]

@proangel Came on Reddit to seek advice about just this topic! Happy I’m not alone, thankful for all the advice and currently crying! I have to just sit with these changing times and try to embrace (on her terms) my little one who’s almost grown!

 

[proangel]

@gnr7511ministries It’s so hard. Their various ways of separating from us. I’m currently frustrated that mine won’t accept help with homework. At least we had a nice walk last night together.

 

[nikki2323]

@proangel I too miss the toddler years

 

[freshgrow191]

@proangel 51 here with a daughter about to turn 15. She is my only child. I feel you so much! Even though we still have a good relationship and she is an amazing kid, i find myself, a lot lately, missing her sweetness and silliness from when she was little. Little things like how she always used to hold my hand when we would walk any where together.

 

[proangel]

@freshgrow191 Oh yes I miss that little sign of trust—taking my hand as we cross the road. I’m reassured knowing I’m not the only one who feels these feelings.

 

[merchantcf88]

@proangel I feel ya! I’m a 50 yr old mom to a 13 yr old boy. When I say “I love you,” I get a barely intelligible, mumbled reply back. He used to let me cuddle with him and give him hugs, and now a lot of the time, he seems to barely tolerate me.

However, we do like playing video and mobile games together. Sometimes we laugh so hard when playing Roblox. I love those times but everything with him is just different. Watching them grow up is both joyous and sad.