Calling all Velcro baby mamas

[handlotion]

My baby hasn’t been able to sleep in a bassinet or crib since he was born. I have contact napped and coslept for 4 months.
For the first three, I could just put him to sleep at 8 or 9 pm either by nursing or rocking on a yoga ball. I did this in our living room and would hang out on the couch, watch tv, talk to my husband. For meals, my husband would bring me a plate on the couch and I would eat one handed hoping not to drop any on baby.

He is 4 months now, and super sensitive to any movement or sounds within the 1st hour or 2 after he falls asleep. I have tried the side car crib a few times when he falls asleep and his eyes just pop open.

Since he hit 4 months (and not sure if day light savings time has anything to do with it) he is falling asleep at around 6:30 or 7 pm. Since he wakes up easily, I’m going up into own room, rocking him to sleep and then hanging out in bed. Sometimes after an hour when he is in deep sleep, I can carry him down and eat.

I tried to do that today and he woke up. I broke down sobbing and my husband was like what’s wrong? I didn’t know how to explain the amount of self sacrifice it is to be a 24/7 human pillow. I was doing it before without complaints because he slept through and I could at least still have some down time. Now i’m stuck in my bedroom as soon as he falls asleep. I start work in May. I will most likely finish the day around 5:30 so we can feed him and then bedtime routine. For my mental health, I can’t keep going like this. I am happy to cosleep after 1st wake up if that means 1- 2 hours to myself.

Please share tips, advice, your stories of how you got baby to go down for a few hours.

UPDATE: I rolled him off of me on to the bed, I ran downstairs and tried to shove food as fast as possible in my mouth, while my husband is telling, it’s fine take your time, he is out! I told him I have so much anxiety because I don’t know how much time I have. I run upstairs to brush my teeth and wash my face, and go back downstairs because I forgot something. He woke up. I think it was max 15 mins!! I’ll take it. I ran in, shoved a boob in his mouth and he went right back to sleep.

Gonna start practicing some ninja rolls?

 

[dudemandapanda]

@handlotion Currently in bed at 8pm while my husband watches Netflix downstairs because baby needs me to be next to her to be able to sleep. Same with naps. Sometimes she even wakes up when I roll off the bed to pee or drink water

 

[benz_iris]

@dudemandapanda Are you me lol. Peeing is an Olympic sport now

 

[handlotion]

@dudemandapanda Oh the peeing is the worst!! I need to hydrate because of breastfeeding but then I can’t get up to pee! I usually got at like 2 in the morning. He’s dead asleep then and I can get in and out.

 

[gowdy]

@handlotion Mom of a 3 y/o and a 10 m/o here. Hate to be the one to say it’s a phase…but it’s probably a phase and has a lot to do with temperament/timing. The 3 y/o transitioned into her own bed about a month before her 3rd bday and hasn’t really looked back, but was SO. FREAKING. CLINGY. at night until 2 or so. They grow out of it, and then you kinda miss them in bed with you. 10 month old is less clingy and I can usually roll away after a while. But yeah. We just roll with it cause it’s what works best for us right now

 

[handlotion]

@gowdy I don’t mind him in my bed, but is there a way for him to be in my bed for a couple of hours without me? Just enough for dinner, brushing my teeth?

 

[gowdy]

@handlotion Every baby is different. My first we baby wore a LOT because. No. The answer was no she always had to be in physical contact with us. Mostly me. I feel ya, it’s rough!

 

[handlotion]

@gowdy Ugh my guy doesn’t like to be in baby carrier for more than 10-15 mins. I should try getting him to sleep in it and see if to works.

 

[funnjng]

@handlotion Check out r/babywearing you can find some good insight and maybe some tips on how to get him to like it. My 5 month old is incredibly clingy for sleep as well, if I get up to pee, even at like 1 am, he gets up… I feel you! Solidarity

 

[carlamwilkinson]

@handlotion I just got the baby ktan and it’s pretty great, it’s basically a piece of cloth so it’s comfortable for you both and it’s easy to go from standing to laying down while baby is asleep in it!

 

[gowdy]

@handlotion Yep, it’s so tough. Baby wearing is really what saved me with my first. You’re still touched out but at least you can use your hands hahaha! And 4 months is where they start to be so much more aware too, so it gets harder to sneak away.

 

[ecclesiasticus]

@handlotion get yourself a baby monitor!!! my mother was…we’ll say less than thrilled about my husband and i’s decision to cosleep lol. so after a couple of months of hiding it, and then semi-hiding it and then finally giving the fuck up on it because okay are YOUU going to come and take care of this screaming boob monster so i can get some sleep? than shut up and let us make the decisions that work the best for our mental health lol.

she then did weeks of intense research on baby monitors and we tried and returned a few until we settled on one that gave her peace of mind. once our LO has popped off and is comfortably napping, i can ninja roll away and aim the monitor to his spot on the bed (the safest one!) and i can breathe, stretch, pee, eat, etc. it does help that we have a tiny 1 bedroom apartment but still!!! LO is 14 weeks old today and this is what works for us…but tbh a lot of the time i’m fucking exhausted so i’m either napping with him or on reddit lmao.

 

[godisdead69]

@handlotion For my extreme velcro baby it just took time and white noise that was loud enough to drown out noises. He got sooooo much better at sleeping without me for the first stretch, I think around 6/7 months old (not entirely sure but around that age). Now at 2,5 he still naps at noon and he'll sleep through anything, lights on, loud noises etc... Honestly it get sooooooo much better eventually, but I understand how hard it can be

 

[oilumiun12]

@handlotion Same with my almost 5 month old... I have just been eating dinner super early. Sometimes my son goes to sleep sooner than I planned and I'm just like dammit guess I'm going to bed hungry lol. If I have to pee at night I take him with me (why he sleeps through this and not through me getting up, I have NO idea)

My friends with older babies say it's a phase and it'll pass so I'm just hoping for that

 

[thatguyagain]

@handlotion I’m having the same problem!!!! I thought I was the only one. Mine’s about to be five months old. I keep wondering how long she is going to want to sleep on me. This can’t go on forever, right?!?!

 

[handlotion]

@thatguyagain Oh my heart goes out to you. I know it’s not easy! I’m hoping the ninja rolling mamas can give me some tips.

 

[thatguyagain]

@handlotion Yes I hope so too. Solidarity!

 

[handlotion]

@thatguyagain How are you having dinner?? It’s 9pm where I am right now and baby was sleeping on me since 5:30 pm because he had crap naps. Husband woke him up at 7pm accidentally. I put him down upstairs again and tried to come down at 8pm and he woke up. Back up I went and still haven’t had dinner.

 

[thatguyagain]

@handlotion Wait, are you in France? I see your username is Paris. I live in France. I’m usually able to eat a light dinner when she’s awake. I put her to sleep between 7:30-8:30 depending on her last nap. Right now she naps 3-4 times a day. I cap her naps at 2 hours. she’s sleeping on me as I write this with one hand. I’m so sick of writing with one hand. I hâte side sleeping with her in the bed so instead I sleep with her in my arms with pillows underneath my arms and elbows and a long nursing/body pillow around us so it creates a literal nest. I sleep sitting up though so it really sucks ass! Oh, and I’m also a human pacifier bc she doesn’t take a pacifier but still awake immediately if my nipple isn’t in her mouth. It’s wild.

 

[handlotion]

@thatguyagain Yes I am!! I’m in Normandy now, but lived in Paris for like 16 years. For some reason, my son’s sleep schedule jumped up and he’s now out by 7. Mine is sleeping on me too. I usually have one arm snaked around his neck to type with two. I do exactly what you are saying in the beginning of the night with my breastfeeding pillow propped under each arm and baby on top of me.so I can be upright, and then I transition him to cuddle curl at night for sleep so I can nurse him easily. Then I get uncomfortable and usually go back to propped up around 4-5 am.

Where are you in France?